Skip to main content

Shocking

I am sick.  Today I discovered something, a shocker. I am not physically sick, but inside, I can feel my body trying to accept this truth.  I suddenly don't know who am I anymore. 

What is it?  The victim mode.  I have always been in a victim mode all my life and without knowing it.  I have always felt unhappy with my life, blame others when things go wrong, get angry at the simplest thing and blaming myself.  I feel very sorry for myself. 

I am causing myself to be sick, to be depressed and down all the time by always be in a victim mode.  This also explains the left agnya catch.

When my cousin passed away in a car accident 10 years ago, I put the blame on myself.  I was guilty for many years and when anyone talk about this incident, deep inside I was swallowing all the pity.  Of course, I didn't realise it.

When a nasty thing happened to me last year, I had a really hard time trying to get out of it and to let go and move on.  I am still trying.  I blamed myself badly and whenever I think about my 'misfortune' I will shiver in disgust.  This is not good.

Why am I writing all this personal things down?  This is part of recovery.  I have been a victim for 30 years of my life.  I feel so tired and I want to change for good.

Part of the recovery process is to turn the focus outward and to help someone else.  I hope by writing it down, I can help another victim.  

It's going to be a tough process but with Shri Mataji's love, I am sure I will recover much faster than anyone.

Right now, I am doing research on how to get out of the victim mode.  I will combine whatever I can find online, all the advices and also Sahaja Yoga meditation to help me.  

Shri Mataji is already helping me very much.  I can always feel the left agnya catch, which is a sign the Divine gives me to tell me that I am not alright.


Shri Mataji, please guide me through this. 
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Matka pot treatment - Night 1

I started the matka pot treatment last night.  Been feeling a lot of left agnya catch lately, so thought that it is high time to do a matka pot treatment.  Here is what we need: 7 limes (I heard in Belgium, they used 7 lemons, so the pot that they used is so big and they have a hard time trying to dispose the pot after the 7 nights).  Cut the top of the limes to expose a bit of the flesh. 7 chillies.  Remove the top of the chillies (I don't know what you call, stem or stalk).  I used small chillies so that they can fit into the matka pot. 1 matka pot (here in Malaysia we used claypot that they cooked claypot rice, glazed inside so that it will not leak) Vibrated water So, you put everything into the pot and vibrate in front of Shri Mataji's photo.  Pray that the matka pot will absorb all the catches and negativities.  Then place it on the left side of the bed.  I put it under the bed but you can also put it on a side table on ...
7 comments
Read more

Information for pregnant Sahaja Yoginis

I have decided to gather all information for pregnant Sahaja Yoginis here.  This is probably not conclusive, so please feel free to add on if you have anymore inputs.  To read more about it, please go to amruta.org.   I guess the experience varies from individual to individual.  But I was very sensitive to vibrations and negativity when I was in my first trimester.  So much so that sometimes I have to do 2-3 times footsoak in a row in order to feel better.  But it gets better in the second trimester. As for havan, I was told that pregnant ladies can attend havan but have to sit far from the fire and don't sit too long.  This was advice by the Vashi doctors.  But my own experience, in which I attended one havan, I didn't feel good after that.  It's just my personal feelings about it as I was ultra-sensitive.  But I read some yoginis wrote that pregnant ladies should not attend havan altogether.  So, it really depends.  I ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Sahaja Yogis Do's and Don'ts

The other day, while browsing through Amruta.org, I'd found this gem.  Sharing with you all.   Disclaimer:  As I only took out parts of the talk, please do read the entire text to get the full message and understanding or better still, listen or watch the video. Advice by Shri Mataji at Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan (Question and Answers). Bombay (India), 22 March 1977 1. No smoking and drinking First and foremost things that a Sahaja Yogi cannot smoke or drink. One absolutely one hundred percent sure, because if you drink or smoke you will find after some time you either you’ll lose your vibrations or you’ll start vomiting. You cannot smoke. If you smoke your Vishudhdhi will be caught. If you drink your Nabhi chakra will be caught and whenever you’ll place your hand towards the photograph all the Nabhi chakra will be burning absolutely. So you’ll say, “What is this happening?” And you’ll give up. You sort of, many people have done it without any difficulty. They ...
Post a Comment
Read more