Skip to main content

Selfishness

Today I've found out something about the yuvas.  Two things which I won't tell.  At first I was reacting inside and was starting to wonder what can I do to help.  Then I feel it's about time to surrender to Shri Mataji and let go.  Some things I can help, but some things I should learn to let the Divine do it.  Am I being selfish?  Some will say yes.  But I feel it's not good for my ego if I do intervene.  Because in the end, I am not the doer and enjoyer.

Anyway, I need help myself.  This victim mode thingy, it's just been 2 days.  I feel I am better at handling some things, like keep reminding myself that hey, look out, you are going back there. 

Anyway, I think a lot.  Too much.  Someone said I think for the entire world.  It's true.  It's something I am still learning to stop.  Sometimes I feel I think so much until it is tiresome for the others.  I analysed and judged others too quickly and too much.  Sometimes it's not what it is, but I feel it's right because I think it's right.  This is not it.  Now, I am becoming too tired too quickly from overthinking.  

About this victim mode thingy, most people who are in it, always feel what they think is right.  In Sahaj, that's ego.  We want sympathy from others to hear us out.   And if that person doesn't agree with what you think, then we will try to fight it until the end we will say, why I am so stupid? I feel I am not alone in this.  I saw yesterday my family members are like this too.  Maybe that's how I got it too.

I have never heard of this victim mode until Friday.  I didn't know that it is something serious.  I thought it is just temporary.  But it keeps repeating at different times especially when I am unbalance.  This is a huge negativity in the Sahaj point of view.  It makes me do and think differently.  I pray that I can get out of it quickly.

Sometimes I asked, how come now only I realise that I have this when I am already in Sahaj for so many years?  I don't really have a definite answer, but I can say that it is all in Divine time.  Like, I get some clearing in Vashi and then now only I realise this.  For so many years, I didn't get a chance to go to Vashi, so maybe that's why I still don't realised it.  Maybe it's also because I have to go through a few stages to come to this level to know and understand.  Well, I shouldn't think what the Divine has planned.  I will just accept it as it is.

No one should pity people who have victim mode.  It's not good for them.  ow that I know I have this problem, I have researched online and learn something.  Now, if I feel I need to get some things done, then I will just do it and not delay.  Not procrastinate.  Because I tend to think 100 times about what I needed to do before I do it.  It's crazy.  Maybe because I am nervous or forgetful.  But it's not the right way because I get so right sided just thinking about the future, what to do, how to be done and when to do it.  Shri Hanuman's quality is just do things without hesitation.  I will pray for His quality.


I was told that this year of the Tiger, is a good year for a goat like me.  It's already beginning to look good.  More coming.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Matka pot treatment - Night 1

I started the matka pot treatment last night.  Been feeling a lot of left agnya catch lately, so thought that it is high time to do a matka pot treatment.  Here is what we need: 7 limes (I heard in Belgium, they used 7 lemons, so the pot that they used is so big and they have a hard time trying to dispose the pot after the 7 nights).  Cut the top of the limes to expose a bit of the flesh. 7 chillies.  Remove the top of the chillies (I don't know what you call, stem or stalk).  I used small chillies so that they can fit into the matka pot. 1 matka pot (here in Malaysia we used claypot that they cooked claypot rice, glazed inside so that it will not leak) Vibrated water So, you put everything into the pot and vibrate in front of Shri Mataji's photo.  Pray that the matka pot will absorb all the catches and negativities.  Then place it on the left side of the bed.  I put it under the bed but you can also put it on a side table on ...
7 comments
Read more

Information for pregnant Sahaja Yoginis

I have decided to gather all information for pregnant Sahaja Yoginis here.  This is probably not conclusive, so please feel free to add on if you have anymore inputs.  To read more about it, please go to amruta.org.   I guess the experience varies from individual to individual.  But I was very sensitive to vibrations and negativity when I was in my first trimester.  So much so that sometimes I have to do 2-3 times footsoak in a row in order to feel better.  But it gets better in the second trimester. As for havan, I was told that pregnant ladies can attend havan but have to sit far from the fire and don't sit too long.  This was advice by the Vashi doctors.  But my own experience, in which I attended one havan, I didn't feel good after that.  It's just my personal feelings about it as I was ultra-sensitive.  But I read some yoginis wrote that pregnant ladies should not attend havan altogether.  So, it really depends.  I ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Sahaja Yogis Do's and Don'ts

The other day, while browsing through Amruta.org, I'd found this gem.  Sharing with you all.   Disclaimer:  As I only took out parts of the talk, please do read the entire text to get the full message and understanding or better still, listen or watch the video. Advice by Shri Mataji at Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan (Question and Answers). Bombay (India), 22 March 1977 1. No smoking and drinking First and foremost things that a Sahaja Yogi cannot smoke or drink. One absolutely one hundred percent sure, because if you drink or smoke you will find after some time you either you’ll lose your vibrations or you’ll start vomiting. You cannot smoke. If you smoke your Vishudhdhi will be caught. If you drink your Nabhi chakra will be caught and whenever you’ll place your hand towards the photograph all the Nabhi chakra will be burning absolutely. So you’ll say, “What is this happening?” And you’ll give up. You sort of, many people have done it without any difficulty. They ...
Post a Comment
Read more