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Vibrations will always be with us...

It's not the first time that I have lost someone I love.  But this time, it's different.  A Guru, a Saviour, a Mother left the earth.  Now, She is completely Shri Adi Shakti, with all Her full powers, without the limitations of a physical body.  The time has come.

Somehow, I have mixed emotions.  I was overwhelmed with sadness when I first heard the news.  I couldn't believe it although I knew the time would come.  But still, it is so difficult to deal with the fact and the reality.  Coming to terms with the news took some time.  My heart is still a little heavy.

Shri Mataji taught me love, a language that was not known to me, not very much.  She showed me what is joy.  So many things She has taught me.  Without Her, I would not be what I am today.

Today, reflecting back to my blessed time with Her, although there were not many, but it was enough to last me a lifetime.

The very first time that I met Her in person was in 2001, at Shri Ganesha Puja, Cabella.  I remember when I saw Her, I couldn't stop crying.  Tears of joy, finally seing my Mother, like coming home after many years.  

The second time was in 2002, at Christmas Puja in Ganapatipule.  That time I was so fortunate.  I got the chance to be on stage to offer the International Yuva Shakti gift.  

Third time was in 2003, for Her 80th Birthday, in Delhi.  

Forth time was in 2005, New Jersey, Shri Krishna and Shri Ganesha Puja together.  During this time, the Malaysian bhajan group got the chance to perform a bhajan for Her.  I played the harmonium.  Such a memorable time.  We sang Pyar Bhare.

Fifth time was in 2006, Los Angeles, Shri Ganesha Puja and Nava Ratri Puja.  The Malaysians got the chance to perform the Dikir Barat in front of Her physical presence.  What a great opportunity!
Sixth time was in 2008, Pune, Christmas Puja.  That time was an introspective time.  Lots of things were happening in my life.  She came into my life again and again to save me.

Seventh time, which was the final time I saw Her physically.  It was in Cabella, 2010, Shri Krishna and Shri Ganesha Puja.  This time was also very memorable.  I was matched and I got the chance to present the Malaysian Yuva Shakti gift to Her.

Wow, I have never counted how many times I have met Her at pujas.  7 times is amazing.  

Also, not forgetting, in 2002 and 2003, when She came to Singapore for a stopover, I met Her at the airport.  I remember in 2003 or was it 2004, I made a last minute decision to catch a glimpse of Her.  I decided to fly into Singapore.  Made a last minute booking, ran to the airport and really literally ran to the departure gate and huffing and puffing.  Sat 45 minutes on the plane.  Arrived in Singapore and had lunch.  Then waited at Changi airport for Her arrival.  She were to leave Singapore to India.  Finally, She arrived.  Just manage to catch a short glimpse of Her and then I have to run into the airport again to catch my flight back to Malaysia.  I went inside the airport at the same time She came inside and I did a short pranam and ran and ran to the gate.  Took 45 minutes flight again back to KL and came back for dinner.  Ha ha, now come to think of it, I was really silly.  But the trip, the running was worth every single dollar and cent.  To catch a glimpse of our Mother, is priceless.

Now I wonder.  We cried when we see Her because it was tears of joy, that finally we met our Mother.  Now She is not with us physically, do we still have tears of joy?  Whatever it is, I feel stronger than before.  The vibrations are so tremendous.  I feel the unity in our collective.  The bond with our Sahaj brothers and sisters are closer.  When we sang bhajans, I feel the joy in my heart.  

Although She left Her physical body, She leaves behind the vibrations.  This will forever be with us as long as we are meditating and clearing ourselves and putting Her in our heart.

I do miss Her physical form a lot.  Sometimes I do wish I have came into Sahaja Yoga much earlier.  I guess we all have the right time.  I guess we will never know what the Divine has planned.  

I feel Her more now, compared to before.  We will carry Your message of love and continue Your great work.

Read this beautiful recollection. http://www.sahajayogablog.org/2011/02/testimonial-from-cabella.html It's just too amazing.



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