Jai Jai Jai Shri Mataji

Just came back from collective.  Today I played 2 fast songs on the harmonium.  I haven't played on the harmonium for a month, maybe more.  Ever since I have taught Khai to play, I have since letting him play more.  I told myself, I prefer to sing anyway.  But I am good at playing.   So, after so long not playing and suddenly playing fast songs, I have got RSI - Repetitive Stress Injury.  My right hand is really aching now as I am typing.   I love playing the harmonium.  This is the only thing I feel I am good at.  Lately I have been feeling under attack and was having a tough week, just struggling to get to understand myself a bit more.  I forgot so many basic principles in my life until someone reminded me.  What was there to struggle in the first place when Shri Mataji is always there with me?  I may not see Her, but She is there, just that I don't feel Her presence because I am just too self-absorb...

--> When I was in Vashi, the doctors told me that happiness can clear a lot of catches, especially those chakras from Vishuddhi upwards.  When the heart is open (when one is happy), then the Sahasrara will also be open.  Then when the Sahasrara is opened, everything else will be clear. First and foremost, how to be happy?  Many people including myself search happiness in many ways.  In our modern society now, one is said to be happy is when one has achieved a certain heights in his/her life, like career advancement, more money, a big house, a happy family, car, etc, etc.  But once we have achieved all of this, are we really happy? I don’t know about others, but I can tell you that for someone who is in a victim mode a lot, it is very hard to be happy.  We tend to look for unhappiness instead to make us look like poor things and the whole world is against us and that no one cares and no one loves us.  We have very low self-esteem and...

Today I've found out something about the yuvas.  Two things which I won't tell.  At first I was reacting inside and was starting to wonder what can I do to help.  Then I feel it's about time to surrender to Shri Mataji and let go.  Some things I can help, but some things I should learn to let the Divine do it.  Am I being selfish?  Some will say yes.  But I feel it's not good for my ego if I do intervene.  Because in the end, I am not the doer and enjoyer. Anyway, I need help myself.  This victim mode thingy, it's just been 2 days.  I feel I am better at handling some things, like keep reminding myself that hey, look out, you are going back there.  Anyway, I think a lot.  Too much.  Someone said I think for the entire world.  It's true.  It's something I am still learning to stop.  Sometimes I feel I think so much until it is tiresome for the others.  I analysed and judged others too quickly an...

I am sick.  Today I discovered something, a shocker. I am not physically sick, but inside, I can feel my body trying to accept this truth.  I suddenly don't know who am I anymore.  What is it?  The victim mode.  I have always been in a victim mode all my life and without knowing it.  I have always felt unhappy with my life, blame others when things go wrong, get angry at the simplest thing and blaming myself.  I feel very sorry for myself.  I am causing myself to be sick, to be depressed and down all the time by always be in a victim mode.  This also explains the left agnya catch. When my cousin passed away in a car accident 10 years ago, I put the blame on myself.  I was guilty for many years and when anyone talk about this incident, deep inside I was swallowing all the pity.  Of course, I didn't realise it. When a nasty thing happened to me last year, I had a really hard time trying to get out of it and to let go ...

First of all, I want to emphasise that we must give self-realisation to as many people as possible to save them from a lot of things, one of them is ignorance.  If you notice the trend in my blog, I usually do not like to post negatively or vent my anger or say bad things against anyone.  So, at times, you will see there will be a long break.  Those are the times when I am down and unhappy until I am unable to post a positive, happy post (except those time when I am genuinely busy with work).    One thing for sure, one cannot blame them for being ignorant.  It's the society that is making people more stupid.  I was once like them until I receive my self-realisation and saw truth.  So, I must spread the truth now. I was born in Malaysia and we live among Malays, Chinese and Indians.  We live in harmony although there are some feathers ruffled here and there due to political reasons.  My grandmother used to tell me tha...

This painting was done by a young Sahaja Yogi, titled 'My Family.  I just love the colours and the painting gives so much joy by just looking at it. Today, I would like to thank Lene Jeffrey for giving me Dr. Arun Apte's CD, bought from India, posted from Australia.  Thank you very very much.  You are such a good-hearted sister.  I am so pleased to hear that you too had an amazing experience on your last day at Vashi.  Not sure whether she sees this, but anyone who reads this and from the Sydney collective, do convey my message and thanks to her.  Of course, I will also email her and thank her personally. It just opens my heart to receive the CD.  Such a sweet sister.  This is the beauty of Sahaja Yogis.  Spreading the love of Shri Mataji.  Do read what Shri Mataji says about love. The Love Within It is not easy to describe or explain Love in human words. This you can only feel within your Self. That is what, once...

That means Wishing you great prosperity in Cantonese and that's what we wishes to our friends, relatives, family when we meet them during Chinese New Year. Yes, Chinese New Year is just around the corner, this year happened to fall coinciding Valentine's Day. When I was much much younger, like in primary school, during Chinese New Year, we would go back to visit my mom's hometown, that is in Lenggong, Perak, to visit my maternal grandparents.  It was really fun, especially for little kids like me and my sister.  Those days, the road was nasty, no highways, so travelling from my house to Lenggong will take 4 hours.  Moreover, the road from Ipoh to Lenggong is so winding, that sometimes we will have car sick.  But what I like best throughout the journey is the sleeping in the car part.  All my cousins will also be there for this festival.  So, we will have a lot of fun playing firecrackers, cycling, going on my uncle's motorcycle, and just walking ...

It's been a few days since I started having lower backache.  I woke up on a Tuesday and was feeling extra tired because my lower back was aching badly.  It was not painful like until I cannot walk or something like that, I could still go on with my normal routine.  I drove to work.  However, sitting down at work, I began to feel more and more tired, like my body was not able to support. I went to see a doctor and she can only prescribed me with muscle relaxant.  She told me several causes of it, poor posture, lift something heavy in a wrong way, exercise wrongly or UTI.  I suspected it was poor posture. My old job requires me to go here and there a lot.  So, every week, I will be out of the office and at client's place.  When going out, I have to lugged along my laptop and several bags of files, depending on which client.  Wearing high heels and short skirts (my old office have this policy that girls have to wear skirts from Monday t...

Taken from The Star Newspaper - Weekender, Saturday, 30 January 2010 If you often feel let down and hard done by, you may be trapped in the victim syndrome.   Here's how to rise above it and take control of your life. You've only to listen to the heartfelt wail of a newborn baby who's impatient for their next fed to realise we're all born with a strong will to survive.  But somewhere along the way many of us lose that vital survival instinct and become victims. It's easy to spot a victim.  She's the one who is always in the throes of some disastrous love affair.  She's the first to be laid off when redundancies are made.  If she goes on holiday, it's always her plane that's delayed. It's hard not to feel sorry for her.  But could it be her own fault?  According to psychologists, some of us are especially prone to the victim mentality - perhaps because we're brought up to put ourselves and our needs in second place.  Looking after ourselve...

A big maya is happening right now.  We need to stay together and stand united.  We don't know the outcome of things and we don't know why it has to happened.  We don't know who is the one with  ego.  Don't listen to others.  We just need to listen to only  One person and meditate and pray to the One and Only, Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi. How blessed we are to see this happening. It's a miracle - how things Are worked out. A new phase has started and we have a very open challenge to get people into enlightenment. People are not so ignorant now. They are very much changed, especially their attitude towards Truth. They get stuck if they think 'this' or 'that' is the truth - even if it can't be verified. Unlike humans, animals have an innate capacity to smell evil. How have animals developed this capacity? We understand many things: for instance we cook our food, animals don't, but sometimes I think we cook our brains. The way people think a...

Getting this new job, from the interview, right up to getting the job, I have always felt that Shri Mataji plays an important part in it.  I am so thankful to Her for making everything happen.  Months ago, I have prayed that I will get a good job in a good company.  And it has come true. I am happy with everything at the new place and feel tremendous blessing from Shri Mataji.   Today, my colleagues were talking about bonus and increment and job benefits.  As it is, I feel this new company has good benefits.  But my colleagues felt that other companies are better and they are wondering how to get those kind of jobs and why does some people are so lucky to land in such jobs?   Where do we stop?   The more we have something, the more we want.  Will the lucky person who got good benefits and good bonus asked, whether someone else is luckier than them and get 12 months bonus??  I don't have the answers to it....