On 2nd September 2010, the moment that I have been waiting for has finally arrived. It was during one of the evening programs for the World Festivals, in Cabella that my name was finally announced. A sense of relieve gushed through me and finally, I got it!
Two months earlier, I have submitted the marriage application form. From that day onwards, life was like a roller coaster. Lots of thoughts. 'What if...??'
I thought I have prepared myself mentally, but when it comes right through it, I realised preparation was merely a word to comfort myself.
I was excited and yet nervous. I was happy and yet anxious. The two months of anticipation of the event was much more bigger than anything that I had ever encountered. Although I hid my emotions from the outside world, because it was a secret and I was too shy to announced, yet inside I was having a nervous breakdown every now and then.
On my birthday that year, I received a surprise present from Shri Mataji. It was a heart shape wax formation that created itself through the wax from my clearing candle. I took it as a positive sign. Maybe this is it. And yet my mind was haywire.
Prior to going to Cabella, I had numerous dreams. I was thinking too much, I told myself. So I prayed, please give me a good Sahaja Yogi, then everything else will be good as well.
When I arrived at Cabella, the next few days was really trying. Most of the time, I was fighting with myself. Trying to reason with myself. There were beautiful moments when vibrations were so great. No matter what, I enjoyed the great company of the other Sahajis. That year, there were at least 20-25 Malaysians and almost the full Sahaj music group was there. We spent lots of time practising for our performance and mingling and all. Beijing Sahaj sister Teng Lin was there as well and it was such a great time to meet her again after Vashi. I enjoyed our chats!
Day after day, I would be waiting quietly for the announcements. Day 1 gone, name not there. Came day 2, then 3, then 4. Still not there. After Day 4, I almost gave up.
Then finally, the name came and went and yup, I got matched! What a relief! All the anxiousness can rest now.
Until, I realised what a big thing I have done. Marriage? To who? He didn't go to Cabella for certain reasons and I was a little disappointed not able to wed there and then. I started gathering information about him and got his contact number and sent him a message and everything were so cryptic. He didn't realised he just got himself a fiancee. And I am not sure whether this is what I want, yeah Ego play!
When I came back to Malaysia, I was having bad jet-lag and the shock has yet to leave me. I began communicating with him via email and later on via Skype. The more I got to know about him, the more I find out about him. Good and bad. Same with him with me as well.
Soon, we decided to meet up for the first time, in person. He said he would come to Malaysia for Christmas. Many people asked me, "How do you feel when you see each other for the very first time?" All I can say was, Nothing. I didn't have butterflies in my stomach, nor vibrations coming out from my nabhi chakra, nor any vibrations for that matter. In fact, I was too nervous and when I met him for the first time, ego play started again until we spoke. The moment I heard his voice, Mr Ego calmed down and began to speak spiritually to each other. I guess I was thinking too much, eventhough there were vibrations, I could not feel it.
Things picked up very fast thereafter. Met the parents - Check. Parents approval - Check. Wedding rings - Check. Wedding photographs - Check. Wedding venue - Check. We enjoyed each other company a lot and enjoyed our meditation sessions together.
Things started to fall into places, when we put our hearts to it, together. Soon, wedding dates arranged and plans made. We registered in China first on 22nd August, then flew to Cabella and had the Sahaj wedding ceremony there on the 28th August. When he tied the mangal sutra around my neck, vibrations were shooting from my kundalini, up to the Sahasrara. It was such a tremendously beautiful experience!
Then we flew back to China and had the Chinese wedding ceremony on 2nd September, 1 year after the announcement.
After 2 months break, we registered in Malaysia on 8th November and had the Malaysian wedding ceremony on 19th November and the Sahaj makan on the 20th November. Phew!
This year we celebrated our first anniversary and it was then I felt, things started to become better, in terms of relationship and understanding of marriage and maturity sets in.
And this day, is 1 year since we registered in Malaysia. And may Shri Mataji bless us for many more wonderful married years to come! Thank You Mother, again and again for this beautiful experience!
Comments