Jai Jai Jai Shri Mataji

Too many things happened in a short time.  I guess it took a toll on my health.  I have been having low blood pressure and dizziness.  The dizziness comes and goes.  But each time I am dizzy, I am disorientated and blur.  I made mistakes, bump into furnitures, walked like crab and my mind is so messy.  It's been 2 weeks since I am like that.  Now I am getting worried that it might be something else that trigger the low blood pressure as I was fine all the while. My swadisthan, nabhi, heart and agnya is caught up.  I need to get back to discipline and get back into my Sahaj routine.  It's been weeks since I meditated properly.  So, now I am keeping record of what I am doing to recover from this.  If I have recovered from GERD  and plantar faciistis , I am sure I will recover from this soon. Tonight I did the 108 names of Shri Durga Mata because I could feel my left and right heart chakra very caught up.  After I di...

After so long, finally I have decided that enough is enough, I can't handle it anymore.  I want to surrender completely to the Paramchaitanya.  And guess what, everything worked!  I understand now!  Thank You very much.  Today, I am also very thankful to Shri Mataji for watching over us and save us from a terrible accident that could happened in a split second.   "...I hope that enthusiasm, that venturesome nature will vibrate your Pingala and, without feeling any ego about it, in the most humble manner as Hanumana was, will do the jobs. So much of dynamism and so much of humility - what a combination it was. And that's what you have to just manifest.The more you'll work, the more you'll assert yourself. You'll find that humility is the only thing that helps. Obedience is the only thing that helps to carry out your work and you'll become humbler and humbler. But if you think, "Oh, I am doing this" - then finished. But if you know that i...

On this auspicious day, I would like to say 'Thank You' for being there for me.  Thank You for giving me self-realisation, so that I can be in contact with You, anytime, anywhere.  Thank You for taking Your birth on earth, to give us Your love and vibrations.   Today we will be celebrating Your birth on earth.  Though this year is the first year Your birthday will be celebrated in the Nirakar form, anywhere in the world, but the birth of a beautiful Mother and Guru, on this earth, will forever be cherished and remembered. Although You have gone back to where you came from, thank You once again, for coming to earth. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SHRI MATAJI!

Last night, I dreamt of Shri Mataji.  It was not an announcement dream or a proclamation dream or anything dramatic of that sort.  It's a comforting dream and I feel it's a personal message for me. We were somewhere, it feels like India, in a tent or pendal.  Shri Mataji was sitting next to me.  She was very quiet, not smiling and was looking at what everyone is doing.  Sometimes She will hold my hand.  Sometimes She asked me what are they doing.  Sometimes She said a word or two which I really cannot remember now.  There were a lot of people walking and doing things.  No protocols was observed and She was just sitting there and watching.  Everyone can come near Her.  Far away I could see wedding preparations going on.   It was a very vague dream.  I almost forgot that I dreamt of Her when I woke up.  Then trying so hard to remember the bits and pieces in the dream.   Anyhow, I am glad I dreamt of He...

"Now, this Ekadasha Rudra will be expressed when the Kalki itself will start acting, means the destructive power which will destroy all that is negative on this Earth and save all that is positive.  … One should not have sympathy with anyone who is negative, whether he is mad, whether there is something wrong with him, whether he is your relation, or anything.  No sympathy of any kind, on the contrary a kind of anger should be there for that person, a kind of a detachment. And this angry detachment is the only time, when you have to be angry. But I have seen people who have anger for very good Sahaja Yogis but not for their own husbands or wives who are extremely negative. … Ekadasha Rudra have all the powers, I would say, of destruction, together.  It is destructive power of Shri Ganesha.  It is destructive power of Brahma, Vishnu, Mahesha. It is the destructive power of the Mother.  It is the destructive power of the Ganesha and four of these are Bhairava and...

‎"I do not know how people learn to hate. I haven’t got sufficient time even to love people. I find 24 hours much less! I do not know how people sit down and manipulate and think in a ice-cold manner how to be hateful. Hatred has no power but of destruction - of yourself and others." H.H.Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi, extract from Birthday Celebrations 1977, Mumbai.

I tend to react a lot.  To EVERYTHING!!!  And then I get the after-effects.  I was very sad with the passing of Shri Mataji and react a lot to that.  But was calmed by the vibrations surrounding me.  Then slowly, very slowly, day after day, some messages will come, some reflection.  I miss Shri Mataji a lot, although I have never spoken to Her personally.  But in the end I feel, She needs to go to do a much greater work that was limited by Her physical body.  It was for our own good.  It's not up to our human mind to understand it all.  But know that some great things will be happening.  I remembered one speech, Shri Mataji said, She has given us everything.  Yes, She has prepared us for this.  Now, reading back Her speeches, really, She has given us every single thing.  Everything that we need to know, She has told us.  She gave us all.  So, now I don't feel so sad.  In my heart, it is much more calme...

The red dot on Her forehead?  We looked at Her beautiful face a lot but how often do we look at Her bindi? Past few days have been a struggle for me to get by.  I can't seem to think properly and having a tough time trying to rationalise and be balance.  It's not because of the recent happenings.  It has been accumulating from many, many nights before that.  Attention was all over the place.  I lost control of myself.  I don't know what I want to do.  I don't know how to move on.  I felt a little lost.  I think and think and think.  I tired myself out and finally declared that it's fatigue.   Last night, decided to pull myself together.  Sat in front of Shri Mataji's photo and just looked at Her big, round red bindi.  At first it was difficult.  Eyes wandering.  Then after some time, it was much better.  I managed to focus.  That's when a realisation came to me and I got all the answers fo...