Let them learn the hard way
I wanted to write this on FB but thought no. While I will get some supporters, I am sure some parents will also be very against me too.
I don't intend to be a Tiger Mom. And I am telling only what I have gone through at work.
I have this subordinate, who is 31 years old this year. Single and have few years working experience in the Big 4. Father is a respectable man in the industry.
Although Mr.A has working experience, he doesn't prove himself to be so. He can't perform simple Excel function. He can't finish his task on time. He will promise the manager that he will do this and that, but in the end he can't deliver his promise. If you don't tell him what to do, he will not do it. When he didn't deliver his task to me on time, he doesn't even update me the status. Instead, I have to keep on reminding him over and over again. Someone needs to sit next to him and guide him step by step, as if holding his hand while he walk.
I really tried to be patient. Really really tried. I have been nice to him and he took that for granted.
From what I gathered, Mr A has been spoonfed all his life. Maybe his parents or more so his father, make lots of decisions for him until Mr A becomes a cabbage and can't function on his own without guidance.
I have to agree that our Malaysian schools are very pro at spoonfeeding. It's only when we enter college we will start to see that we need to gather some info on our own and no more spoonfeeding.
I truly believe that Mr A has been too overprotected. I also believe that he has no passion and doesn't even know what job he wants to do. He is just doing it because his father told him so.
Why I said so? One day Mr A was sick. He sent messages to me and my manager to inform about this. Shortly at noon, his father called to tell us that his son had food poisoning. Think about this. A 30 years old man needs his father to call in sick for him. Do we even need to know what kind of illness he has? Come on.
I noticed this issue is more prominent with sons compared to daughters.
But sometimes when I truly think about this, it is a negativity. Mr A goes to a false guru. He was telling me what his false guru did and I was telling him what we do. Mr A is very proud of his guru.
So in some ways, I feel this is one way negativity attacks Sahaja Yogis. Very subtle.
This is really testing my patience and compassion.
So dear parents, the moral of the story is this: Please do not pamper your child and think that by making decisions and doing every single thing for him/her is actually helping him/her. It's doing more harm than good. Seriously. Please do not spoonfeed your child especially when they grow bigger. Please let them be independent. Please let them have a mind of their own. Please let them have a brain that function. Please consider this when bringing up your child.