Reading old blog posts

Wow, this blog is already 6 years old.  How time flies.  I enjoyed readying back the old blog posts, brings back so much of nice memories, especially those Sahaj related and also reminded me to go back to basics sometimes and watch that Ego.

Reading my experiences, reminded me of my journey in Sahaj.  Started out being ignorant, then started to recognised Shri Mataji, began to observe protocols, attended various international pujas, met Shri Mataji personally, performed for Her and got the opportunities to offer gifts to Her.  Then became really into Sahaj, everything Sahaj this, Sahaj that and recognised other things which are non-Sahaj is not good, etc.

Also, back then, so much more innocent, and so many miracles happened.  I took it for granted, forgetting everything.  Who would have guess, Dr. Madhu Rai was the person who tied sari for me during one international puja?  Interesting right?

Looking back, I started the blog with lots of hope and vibrations and lots of miracle stories.  Then when I started working in the audit firm, my posts digressed to non-Sahaj and most of the time finding balance in myself.  Then from then on, many more things happened and one after another, a learning curve, a terrible fall, a wake up moment and so on.  Then from then onwards, the writing became more mature and boring and there is no vibrations while reading those posts, except a right agnya and center heart catch.  Hmmm....Lots of ego and less courage in the heart, maybe?  The posts are becoming more and more personal with less touch on Sahaj and only asking for prayer, asking God for this, that.  What has this blog become?  What have I become?

I seldom write about my experiences nowadays.  Nor dreams.  Maybe because the experiences is becoming subtler and dreams are lesser.  Or maybe because something had happened, I am experiencing lesser, more complaints, more problems, more negative, more pessimistic?  The writing is also becoming depressing, do you feel so?

Going through the posts, I found that I have missed out 2 major experiences in my life.  Probably because they were so private in my life, that I didn't feel like sharing at that time?  Or probably, I have hidden them somewhere in the posts?  Well, I will only share one of it, because the other one was way back in the past and it's gone, poof, done with it!  Will share in the next post.  And will reduce in writing irrelevant things.

Hope I can revive this blog to be filled with feelings of love and joy and lots of vibrations.  Too many bad news everywhere, time for some positive blogs right?  Who wants to read my misery stories anyway?  Les Miserables, enough!  Time for change!  For the better!