Jai Jai Jai Shri Mataji

Wishing everyone here a belated Merry Christmas and a very joyous and happy New Year 2011. I have been very busy with so many things in life that I have neglected this blog again for the umpteen time.  My fiance came to visit and was very busy with him.  My last year's Christmas wish has come true.  Had a very blessed Christmas indeed this year.  Puja was wonderful too and heart feels so light, filled with love and very joyful. What's my New Year's resolution this time? I pray that 2011 will be a wonderful beginning to many great opportunities.  May all the plans for 2011 be smooth and as scheduled. I want to lose some weight before the BIG DAY.  May I be able to keep to my promise and practise what I preach. May I be able to surrender to the Divine and let the Divine work everything out, especially for No.1. May the love of Shri Mataji forever in my heart and may I forever hold Her close to me, every single second of the day. May the o...

Yes, I am.  I am actually quite stress although I feel I am not.  Stress is everywhere. I am stress about some things that I need to do. I am stress when I did something and my manager question me about it. I am stress when I am not doing anything at all. I am stress when I am playing music or singing. I am stress when I am working, travelling or at home. I didn't realise it, but I am actually quite a stressed person. I will feel OK when I meditate, but the effects doesn't last long. So what's the cause?  I think it's thoughts. I really don't want to think anymore.  Really tiring.  Maybe today I am lack of sleep, so I feel it even more.  I feel my heart beating very fast each time I need to approach my manager.  It's crazy.  And plus so many things need to do now. I will just leave it.  I have done my best and the rest I just surrender.  Hopefully everything will turn out good.

Yes, I have been neglecting my blog.  Having blogger's block sometimes and sometimes too much of things to write but not able to write here.  To those who have been following diligently, sorry about that.  Will try to keep updating (at least once a week) as much as I could. Last Saturday, Malaysian Yuva Shakti were invited to perform at the Youth MaD Fest 2010 at Civic Centre, Petaling Jaya.  The last time I was at the hall was in 1985, for my kindergarten performance.  And here in 2010, I was there again.  So much of beautiful memories. The yuva shaktis sang a Dam Mast Qalandar qawali and everybody enjoyed it.  The vibrations were so strong from the moment we start singing till the end.  Kundalini were dancing, the crowd were dancing and joy was everywhere!!!  It was indeed a very good performance and we enjoyed ourselves thoroughly. I love this photo, the lightings and all that.  Look so good.  Feels like as if we we...

I am very happy today.  Got my appraisal done and it is much better than I have expected.  So don't mind me while I post silly things here.  Something that is not related to Sahaj and it's just for fun.  I got this from the CNN website.  So here goes: Pick Your Prince Keeping your castle in good shape - Nate Berkus, Designer featured in Oprah. Cooking his way to your heart - Jamie Oliver, definitely. Singing you to sleep - hmmm....I only like Lat's.  Really can put you into a deep slumber.  Tried and tested. Picking out your wardrobe - Bernard Chandran (Malaysian fashion designer)?? Throwing the perfect party - David Tutera Balancing your budget and doing your taxes - hmmm....don't know.  Suze Orman will be great but she is not a prince. Perfect travelling companion - Ian Wright (it will be fun!) Someone you want to take home and meet the parents - Aamir Khan (want to give them a 'pleasant' surprise) He could play your ...

And I am not sure whether it started because yesterday night I had a good meditation.   1. My subordinate is on leave.  Everytime that happens, I have to takeover her job.  Although I am quite OK with that, but I am not familiar with the preparing cheques procedure.  So I was worried if anyone call to tell me urgent cheques.  Someone eventually call this morning to inform me that there is one cheque that is needed urgently.  I started worrying.  Suddenly, I found out that the CFO is on leave, so nobody to sign any cheques, so I got a break. 2. I wanted to look for 2 person to pass some documents to them for their signature.  I want to get this out of my mind.  I don't know whether they are around, so I went to the toilet.  Just as I was coming out from the toilet, I bump into them.  Twice it happens.  What luck! 3. A document came back.  I am not sure what I should do with it.  So I wanted to send an S...

Lately, I don't know what to write in my blog.  So many things are happening, but nothing I can write. Anyway, I would like to write about the cafeteria that I go everyday, from Monday to Friday, from 1pm to 2pm. I worked in a University College.  Everyday at lunch hour, I will go to the cafeteria for lunch with 2 of my colleagues.  There are nearby shops outside the campus, but because one of my colleagues is having walking difficulty, so we will just eat at the cafeteria, which is below my office. In this cafeteria, there are a lot of stories going on.  Comedy, action packed, family orientated, tragedy but most of the time is just selfish stories.  Stories about themselves.  Others are invisible to them.  I am talking about students.  One can see many nationality in the cafeteria.  Iranians, Chinese, Koreans, Mongolians, Kazakhstan, Pakistani, Indians, Arabs, etc, etc.  One can see someone crying over a breakup with th...

In the same way vibrations... vibrations are coming, they are radiated. What you have to do is to expose yourself to it, the best is not to put in any effort, don't worry at what point you have a problem.  Say many people during meditation I have seen, if they catch somewhere they go on looking after it, you just don't have to worry, you just let it go... and it will work by itself.   So you don't have to put in any effort, this is what meditation is.  Meditation means exposing yourself to God's Grace.  Now the grace itself knows how to cure you... it knows how to mend you... how to settle down itself into your own being... keep your Sprit kindled.. it knows everything.  So you don't have to worry as to what you have to do, or what name you have to take... what mantra you have to do.  In meditation, you have to be absolutely effortless, expose yourself fully... and you have to be absolutely thoughtless at that time.   Supposing......

To all readers, wish all of you a very Happy Diwali.  May this Diwali light up every aspect of our live and be happy always. It's a bit late to wish.  This Diwali was not nice and fun for me.  I went to Johor to attend my uncle's funeral on Diwali day, went to Melaka after that to break our journey and stayed the night and next day had our bags stolen by an organised crime group and now I am back home safe and sound.  First time I travel with bags and came back empty handed.  Thank God my handbag was with me the whole time. Didn't lose anything that was expensive but certain things has sentimental value.  Like the collapsible footsoak bucket that I asked someone from Hong Kong to buy for me, Shri Mataji's photo and Lotus Feet (portable to be used for travelling) given to me by a Chinese sister and a storybook bought from India.  Gone.   At first I was feeling very upset because of the loss.  Then a Sahaja Yogi told me that m...

Another 1 day and it's the Festival of Lights.  But I am really not in the mood.  My uncle is just off life support and now waiting for time.  It reminded me when we made the decision to put my dog to sleep.  Although we can never compare the life of a human and a dog, but the decision to end someone's life is really the most difficult decision that one has to make.  We decided to end Kancil's life after I checked vibrations.  But being a human still, sometimes I feel guilty about it.   It's another day of life and death.  Sad. 

A short explanation of what Diwali is, taken from here , a non -Sahaj website. T his is perhaps the most well-known of the Indian festivals: it is celebrated throughout India, as well as in Indian communities throughout the diaspora. It usually takes place eighteen days after Dusshera. It is colloquially known as the "festival of lights", for the common practice is to light small oil lamps (called diyas ) and place them around the home, in courtyards, verandahs, and gardens, as well as on roof-tops and outer walls. In urban areas, especially, candles are substituted for diyas; and among the nouveau riche, neon lights are made to substitute for candles. The celebration of the festival is invariably accompanied by the exchange of sweets and the explosion of fireworks. As with other Indian festivals, Diwali signifies many different things to people across the country. In ...

For years, I have been struggling with the play of the ego.  Before Sahaj I was unable to recognise it.  After Sahaj when I began to understand it, I realised that ego forms a big part of my life.  Somehow I feel it has something to do with the fact that I am a Leo.  Leos are known to be attention seeker and always want attention on themselves and always want to lead and be right.  Not sure whether it applies to all Leos but I definitely have this. Now I am going through a transition period.  This transition period is similar to when I just came into Sahaj.  In the very beginning, it was the accepting part that was a bit troublesome.  Then after acceptance, it was quite easy and lovely.  Everyday, Shri Mataji make it easy for us to accept Sahaj.  We could feel vibrations easily and clearing was so easy.  Then very slowly, we start to feel some obstacles in our life.  Tests after tests.  Sometimes we passed, someti...

Found this interesting article on the net.  It's actually talking about Chinese people in China.  But I think it applies to us all, wherever we are. (From Chinahush.com ), Chinese people, why are you unhappy? What stole happiness away from Chinese people? Author Hei Jian visited 40 countries to seek happiness. A few years ago, University of Leicester social psychologist White visited over 80,000 people from 178 countries and regions and drew the world’s first “World Map of Happiness”. Surprisingly, the top county was Denmark. Denmark is a country of ice and snow, the southernmost latitude is still north of Heilongjiang Province of China (China’s northernmost province). And Denmark is also a high-tax country with 50%-70% of income tax. So why are Danish people so much happier than people of other countries and regions? He believes that in Denmark, although with a high rate of taxes, the Danish government is able to use the taxes on the people. The government ...

I should be updating more often, but I am not.  It's not because I am busy (or am I?) but just that a lot of things are occupying my time.   I am currently going through a very interesting phase in life and many things are new and everyday is a new adventure.  But I cannot share my adventures because it is very personal. Nowadays, I talked more than I write.  I tell my friends and families about the developments and share my happiness.  Somehow, I just can't bring myself to write about it.  Because I am worried if I put it down in writing, it's going to be black and white.  What if something goes wrong?  What if it doesn't work out later?  How can I justify it later? I know, I know.  I am a thinker and I think non-stop.  Sometimes a bit pessimistic and not that surrender entirely.  Thank Shri Mataji there is a balancing effect and now I am learning to slow down, stop at my tracks and look at what I have been d...

I found this article randomly while surfing the net and found that it is quite an interesting articles, especially the part about arranged marriages.  Some of the titles are a bit racy compare to all the other posts in my blog, but hey, it's really an interesting article.  Taken from www.elle.com Learn to Love: How to Live Happily Ever After New research refutes love at first sight in favor of slow-burn romance By Carrie Sloan | March 26, 2010 10:00 a.m. Photo: Getty Images Raise your hand if you believe in love at first sight. Now, quick—lower it before anyone sees you. According to new research, that head-over-heels feeling we’ve all been swept up by at one time or another is likely to lead us seriously astray. Instead, say recent findings in the field of dating and mating, it’s the slow-burn attractio...

Today is the 4th night.  Here's what we have done for the past few nights. 1st night (Pratipada) - Shri Ganesha is worshipped and it is observed as a day of silence. 2nd night (Dwittiya) - Devi Sooktam is recited and Goddess Mahakali is worshipped. 3rd night (Tritiya) - The Kavach of the Devi is recited today. 4th night (Chathurthi) - The Kavach of the Devi is recited. Now, for the next few nights this is what is going to happen. 5th night (Panchami) - The love of Shri Jagadambe is expressed by reciting the hymns of Argala.  On this day we pray for the complete balance and sustenance of our self-realisation. 6th night (Shashti) - We worship the Shakti. 7th night (Saptami) - Verses from Durga Saptashati is read. 8th night (Ashtami) - Shri Mahalakshmi is worshipped on this day.   9th night (Navami) - The asura is killed on this day. 10th night (Vijaya Dashami) - Today is the day of Victory.  We also celebrate the Dassera Festival, when...

In preparation of Navaratri prayers, here's something for everyone to read.  Please note that these are NOT from Shri Mataji's excepts or Her speeches, but it's something from the internet.  Navaratri prayers will commence this Friday, 8th October 2010. Significance of Navaratri 'Nav' means nine. 'Ratri' is made up of Ra, meaning night and Tri, meaning the three aspects of our life: Body, Mind and Soul. So, ' Navaratri ' means giving rest to all the three aspects of our life, for nine days! The nine days of Navratri are equal to nine months a baby spends in the mother's womb, resting there. 'Ratri'(night) is a period where you are 'in rest'.We stay 9 months in our mother's womb, 9 months of rest and then a consciousness is born.It represents the evolution of the consciousness to a heightened awareness. In life, there are positive and negative qualities that affect us. Navaratri represents how the negativity can ...

I think I have said this a few times.  When I was in Vashi, the doctors told me that we must be happy.  Once we feel happy and feel the joy in our heart, our Sahasrara will also open because of the Heart and Sahasrara connection.  So, on the last day in Vashi, I felt that complete joy for the first time in my life and I was really happy.  The vibrations were tremendous and there was not a single moment  that I was feeling sad or thinking of the past or the future.  I told myself that I would want to keep this feeling forever. When I came back from Vashi, there are many things that we have to deal in our day-to-day life.  Family, relatives, work, friends, responsibilities, etc.  Sometimes I forget how to get back that feeling.  One day, I sat in front of the altar and prayed, to have the same feeling as when I was in Vashi.  I just placed my hand on my left heart and pray to feel the joy in my heart.  To feel the connection with...

"In Emotion, you should be bubbling with Joy.  In Action, you should be Thoughtless.  In Ascent, you should be Surrendered." - Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi There are many people who think that the longer you practice Sahaja Yoga, the better you become.  But I disagreed.  Time has nothing to do with ascent.  Although I have practiced for 10 years, I don't think I have reach that level yet.  There's still a lot that I don't know and still a lot of test especially ego.   I met someone who just practice for 2 years and he is already more surrendered than I am.   I feel the longer you practice, yes, you gain more knowledge and experience.  But to ascent, the only way to do it is to surrender and that really depends on individual.  How deep can you get?   So, meditate, introspect and surrender.  That's the best way to ascent and grow deeper in Sahaja Yoga.

Thank you everyone for visiting this blog.  It just came to my attention that the statistics has reached 10,000++.  It's not much compare to others.  But I do appreciate your coming to my blog, reading my personal experiences and some of Shri Mataji's excerpts.   I will keep this blog going as my journey is now getting more interesting.  Would like to continue to share this beautiful journey with everyone.

Recently, my mind has been exercising a lot.  If my body exercised the same amount as my mind, I would have lost a lot of weight by now. Wondered sometimes, if someone said something nice and praised us, our mind feels happy about it, is that Ego? When we are happy, our face brighten up and everyone can see the glow, but the happy thoughts came from being impressed by someone, is that Ego? For many years, I have a huge problem with Ego and sometimes it happened so quickly that I don't even notice it.  But lately, the ego got blown.  Suddenly everything changes, beyond the expectations of anyone.  In the long run, 50% of the ego will disappear (as I was told), but the heart is a bit hesitant.  Is it worth it?  It's a huge move and the future is unknown.  It's all very new to me and no matter how hard I tried not to think of the future, I still can't help it.  It is now reaching a point that I want to again run away from it all. ...

Facebook is banned in China, do you know that? A friend of a Chinese friend in China managed to hack into my Facebook profile, took my photos and emailed to my friend in China.  Confusing?  A is a friend of B and A hacked into FB and took my photos and gave it to B and B sent it to me.  I was shocked!!! I have already set privacy settings in FB that I only allowed my friends on FB to view my photos.  Even friends of friends cannot view.  And moreover, those photos that other people tagged me are not allowed to be seen by even friends.  It's supposedly a very private setting and limited to my own privacy. I don't believe in privacy in internet now.  Nothing is private.  I know this blog is not private so I want to tell the rest of the world that there is no privacy in Facebook, no matter how they re-assured you that there are.

Last Saturday collective, Shri Mataji's tape on Shri Kartikeya Puja in Munich, Germany was played.  Shri Mataji said, women should be women and women should not be like men.  Shri Mataji was explaining a lot of how women should be.  The most beautiful part of the speech was, when Uncle Gregoire asked, 'what is good to be a man', because Shri Mataji was telling that men don't know a lot of things and won't do a lot of things, Shri Mataji replied, 'that without men, women cannot express themselves.  Just like the Mother Earth, flowers are the expression of Mother Earth and men are the flowers.'   Well, it's not the exact words of Shri Mataji, but that's the message. 

Everything is happening too fast.  I am not sure whether this flow of the river is going to flow deeper into the threacherous sea or just gently flow into a beautiful waterfall.  We just don't know what is in front of us.  We only know what is happening now and it's just very cool.  Maybe the sea is as calm as a cow and not as threacherous as we thought.  And maybe the waterfall is too high and filled with rocks.  We really don't know what is there waiting for us. Now and then, on and off, I will wonder, whether I am heading to the right path.  With Shri Mataji holding my hand and guiding my each step, I don't fear in my heart (not anymore) but my head is telling me to go slow.  For I take 1 step forward, and will take 3 steps backward. Seems like everything is falling into the correct places and and the vibrations on the Sahasrara proves it all.  But still, is this an illusion?  Is this a test?  Is it true that every h...

My body is confused.  I arrived on a Tuesday and I slept pretty much on the plane knowing that I always have bad jet lag.  On Wednesday I was on leave, so I managed to catch on some sleep.  I went to work on Thursday and though there were some signs of jet lag, I still managed to get by.  Friday was a public holiday and I slept in throughout the weekend.  I thought I was fine. Until Sunday.  I had a hard time trying to sleep at 11pm and the whole night I was awake and managed to catch snippets of sleep here and there and got up at 6am.  Went to work and after lunch, the eyes will automatically be closing and the brains stopped working.  Stomach will be hungry at the wrong time and not hungry at the correct meal time. It's a very busy and crucial time at work right now, with many deadlines to meet, but I cannot focus.  Monday night I tried to sleep again but failed.  Yesterday I went back home after work and was terribly sleepy....

I am back from a blissful journey and having jet lag.  Anyway, here are the photos and stories. 27.08.10 (Friday) Early in the morning, my parents sent me and Gerty to LCCT airport to catch the AirAsia flight to London - Stansted.  I was very excited about going to London since this is the first time I am stepping foot in London.  I am so looking forward to scenery from Midsomer Murders.  AirAsia flies direct to London-Stansted and it was a 14 hour flight.  What I don't really like about it was, they gave us food 3 hours after take-off and 3 hours before we land, but in between 8 hours, we have no food and you have to buy snacks from them.  At the end of the 14 hour flight, everyone was super hungry and all snacks were gone.  If it is an overnight flight (like my return flight), then it's ok.  But a day time flight, well, I think AirAsia should re-consider the meals schedule time.  You can't starve your passengers and force them to buy fo...