Friday, January 16, 2015

The Shakti Within

Since coming into Sahaja Yoga, I have always heard Shri Mataji spoke about being a Shakti.  

The woman of the house ( gruhlaxmi) is the shakti of the house. So in a way there should be a very deep oneness with her. When this gets disrupted then a woman leaves her wisdom and gets upset, and sometimes she can be like a bomb, will quarrel; by this a bad influence comes on the children and the society starts breaking. When society breaks then the children will break. All wrong things will come into them and they will go astray. And the discipline of the home gets spoiled. In the house where there is no discipline the children get ruined, the society gets ruined. - Excerpt from New Year's Eve Puja 1997

If she quarrels and argues with everyone then she is not a shaktiShakti means that you can integrate with everything. The highest. Whatever happens you are above it all. Then you are the Shakti, but if you got suppressed then you are not the shakti. - Excerpt from New Year's Eve Puja 1997

You should not compete with men. What is there to compete with them? You are much better off. You are like the Mother Earth. You can bear anything. You can do whatever. You are shakti. What is there to dominate a man, and to compete with a man? I mean, it would be like a horse competing with the man who rides the horse. - Excerpt from 28 May 1985 talk

Till the purity and loving mother like qualities develop in a woman the Grahalakshmi Shakti does not get awakened in her. But she should be wise. Grahalakshmi has to be wise and intelligent. So we can say that when this Mahakali Shakti gets cool and peaceful it becomes Grahalakshmi. - Excerpt from Shri Adi Shakti Puja 1994

But the nature of women should be peaceful and glorious…..their shakti has that peace.
By becoming aggressive she looses her shakti. By her peace and love she can win whole world. Her walking, her talking, her dressing and style should all be just like devi(deity). 
- Excerpt from Shri Adi Shakti Puja 1994

Three kind of Shaktis are described. Comforter is the first on left side. Right side is councilor and central is called redeemer. These are the three Shaktis of Holy Ghost. So, when you enter into the central channel you become Sadhaka and Mahalakshmi rushes on you. Mahalakshmi blesses him. It is very difficult for the Shakti of Mahalakshmi to ascent because mind sometimes goes to left and sometimes to the right. - Excerpt from Shri Adi Shakti Puja 1994

You are the Shakti. You are the power. If you make your men cabbages what sort of children you’ll have? Cabbages only. Respect them. Make them men, enjoy their manliness. Then they’ll never give you up. There’s no competition between the two. - Excerpt from Shri Kartikeya Puja 1986

It wasn't until I became a wife, that I know the meaning of a Shakti.  Till now, I am not sure if I have grasp the whole meaning correctly.  I can see lots of ladies having this power and the Lakshmi power, especially Indian ladies.  

Nowadays, I find many mothers are not really a mother.  Quote from an uncle who is a seeker but went to a false guru.  But still his words were very wise, coming from his experience.  He said and I quote, "Many women are not mothers.  They gave birth and let others bring their children up.  Baby-sitter, relatives, grandparents, etc.  How many women actually bring up their child on their own?  All busy working."

This uncle had a very sad background.  He has 4 daughters but lost his only son when he was only an infant.  His son died from burns of hot water.  I didn't dare to ask further, whether it was cause by babysitters or what.  But what I understand, no matter how difficult their family life is, his wife never works and brought up their 4 daughters on her own.

I have to agree with his quote.  It's true that many women gave birth and gave their child to others to look after.  I was upset when I found that one of my friend's second child was with his babysitters 24/7.  My friend only 'visits' him but doesn't bring him home.  

With the difficulty in the society to cope financially, many women are coming out to work.  Many corporations are also more women friendly, by giving longer maternity leaves and flexible working hours to cope with family life.  

I myself was brought up entirely by my grandmother, aunt, babysitter and domestic helper.  Both my parents were too busy working on shifts, 7 days a week.  It was only when they have completely retired that we were able to spend more time together.

I did resented that my parents didn't spend much time with us.  But I understand.  The money they brought in gave us comfort and enough for us to live a comfortable life.  It was enough for us to have decent education too.

At work, I can see my female colleagues struggling to keep the family life in balance.  Most of them have babysitters, whether it's their grandma, mother, mother-in-laws or some aunties as babysitters.  They too struggle during weekends.  They want the best for their kids, but have little time to do so.  If they won't work, it's not enough for the family.

I would love to be like some Sahaja Yoginis who are full-time mom.  I would love to give 100% attention, 24/7 to my child.  But I know that's not possible, not for me.  I just pray and hope, that should I have a child, we will be able to bring him/her up in the Sahaj environment as much as possible, be with yogis as much as possible and does not lack love from us.  I hope we will be the first person he/she sees every morning and the last person he/she sees every night.

Mother's love is very important especially growing up.  

It was only until my mom has been confined within the hospital walls that I felt the lack of Shakti power in me.  The tasks and chores that she one person did, took 3 of us to do and yet we can't do a better job.  So here I learned.  Woke up early to boil soup.  Cook my nephew's porridge and breakfast.  Packed my lunch.  And still managed to footsoak before going to work.  Since I finishes work late, hubby have to pack dinner.  No time for cooking.

But we managed.  Just not that well.  The soup was tasteless.  The vegetable was too salty.  The rice was too much.  And we were all so tired by the end of the day.  So much more to learn.  When my mom is discharged, I will learn how to cook.  Find out the ingredients that she put in the soup.  

Still learning to be the shakti within.  Life long education.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Let them learn the hard way

I wanted to write this on FB but thought no.  While I will get some supporters, I am sure some parents will also be very against me too.

I don't intend to be a Tiger Mom.  And I am telling only what I have gone through at work.

I have this subordinate, who is 31 years old this year.  Single and have few years working experience in the Big 4.  Father is a respectable man in the industry.  

Although Mr.A has working experience, he doesn't prove himself to be so.  He can't perform simple Excel function.  He can't finish his task on time.  He will promise the manager that he will do this and that, but in the end he can't deliver his promise.  If you don't tell him what to do, he will not do it.  When he didn't deliver his task to me on time, he doesn't even update me the status.  Instead, I have to keep on reminding him over and over again.  Someone needs to sit next to him and guide him step by step, as if holding his hand while he walk.

I really tried to be patient.  Really really tried.  I have been nice to him and he took that for granted.  

From what I gathered, Mr A has been spoonfed all his life.  Maybe his parents or more so his father, make lots of decisions for him until Mr A becomes a cabbage and can't function on his own without guidance.

I have to agree that our Malaysian schools are very pro at spoonfeeding.  It's only when we enter college we will start to see that we need to gather some info on our own and no more spoonfeeding.

I truly believe that Mr A has been too overprotected.  I also believe that he has no passion and doesn't even know what job he wants to do.  He is just doing it because his father told him so.  

Why I said so?  One day Mr A was sick.  He sent messages to me and my manager to inform about this.  Shortly at noon, his father called to tell us that his son had food poisoning.  Think about this.  A 30 years old man needs his father to call in sick for him.  Do we even need to know what kind of illness he has?  Come on.

I noticed this issue is more prominent with sons compared to daughters.  

But sometimes when I truly think about this, it is a negativity.  Mr A goes to a false guru.  He was telling me what his false guru did and I was telling him what we do.  Mr A is very proud of his guru.

So in some ways, I feel this is one way negativity attacks Sahaja Yogis.  Very subtle.  

This is really testing my patience and compassion.

So dear parents, the moral of the story is this:  Please do not pamper your child and think that by making decisions and doing every single thing for him/her is actually helping him/her.  It's doing more harm than good.  Seriously.  Please do not spoonfeed your child especially when they grow bigger.  Please let them be independent.  Please let them have a mind of their own.  Please let them have a brain that function.  Please consider this when bringing up your child.

Wednesday, January 07, 2015

Cough, cough, sneeze, sneeze

A month ago, I fell pretty sick.  It started suddenly with a sneeze and then follow by 100 sneezes and then thousands.  I couldn't do anything.  Any movement will trigger a sneeze and I can't seem to stop it.  

Due to the massive sneezing, the mucous went into the throat and started a throat infection and then fever came.  This time it was different from other flu that I had.  This time I felt it was very severe as I could not move and cannot have any stress.  Any stress or movement will trigger more sneezes and then cough.

Went to get traditional chinese medicine (TCM) and the sinseh said my body is too hot.  Told me to stop all supplements immediately.

The TCM was very good.  Almost immediately, the sneezing stop.  I was also able to spit out lots of phlegm.  

But what lingers on was the cough.  It has gone down to the chest.  I do have a history of bronchitis cough when I was small.  And since then, each time I have a flu, it was very difficult to get rid of the cough.

The cough gets worse in these situations:

- Hug someone with a very bad heart catch
- Spend time and near someone with a very bad heart catch
- In an environment with a very bad heart catch
- When clearing takes place
- In an air-conditioned and dry room
- Anger, anxious, tension, worried
- Stress
- Chocolates, cold drinks

Also, I noticed if I start thinking a lot, then the sneeze would join in too.  

The cough gets better in these situations:

- Hubby to clear my heart with his hand on my back and massage lightly
- Sleep under fan and not air-conditioned
- Massage chest, throat and back with tiger balm
- Keep on clearing the heart chakra, left, right, centre
- Ice pack on the liver

Looks like it's a clear sign that stress plays a major part in my life and I am very poor at managing it.  

A good friend told me that all it takes is to be happy.  But where is the happy button?

Tuesday, January 06, 2015

Is it time to quit?

It's been 5 years since I stepped into this organisation.  As I joked with my colleagues this morning and reminisced the time I agreed to join this organisation, I told them I was conned during interview.

During interview, my interviewers who were my current boss, big boss and HR manager, asked whether I have any questions.  I asked whether we get spectacle allowance.  Both the bosses said yes that as staff, we get discounts at selected optometrist.  

The first day at work, I checked on our intranet HR site and found that there was no selected optometrist in which staff get discounts.  In fact, the discounts and promotions were dependent on the individual shops.  It's not fixed.  Tricked into joining.

Working here haven't been fun.  Though the colleagues were great but I cannot say the same about the bosses.

First year was tough as my current boss tried to show who's boss.  Obviously she is the boss but she still insisted on showing her bossiness.  My opinions were thrown aside.  My ideas were not taken up.  She doesn't want to teach me much and was pretty afraid I will take over her post.  She was too into the old ways of doing things that there was no way she can change just because I joined.  I took the whole year to understand her.  Sometimes I wondered why I was hired if she was so worried that I will climb over her.

Second year onwards things began to settle down.  I kinda understand the whole work flow and the people I was working with.  Built better relationships with my subordinates and know how to coordinate with my boss.

Fourth year, which was last year, hit a snag.  My portfolio changed and I was excited about it.  Unfortunately, it was just a shadow.  None of the bosses knew what I was supposed to do although they created a new portfolio for me.  Another subordinate was hired.  My career came to a stop.  I wasn't learning anything new.  Neither was I building my career for the better.  My new senior subordinate needed to be spoon-fed every single detail while my boss thought I performed badly at my new job.  Meantime, my boss and my subordinate have great respect for each other, but I lost respect for them.

On 4th January 2015, I started the 5th year.  I get 20 days annual leave now.  But deep inside, the feeling to quit is strong.  I know in the end Shri Mataji is the doer and enjoyer and that I should surrender whatever outcome to her.  Saw this post on Forbes and began to wonder:

You lack passion. “You’re not waking up most mornings with a feeling of excitement towards your job,” Hockett says. That feeling you had when you first started working there–thinking about all the possibilities and contributions ahead with a sense of glee—is gone.

This was exactly how I felt each morning.  While meditating, I have to pray every single day to let this day be a good working day.  My boss' behaviour has turn to a worse.  Her temper is unpredictable and she can be on a bad mood everyday.  I don't look forward to going to work and trying to see or predict when is her happy mood.

You’re miserable every morning. Quite simply, you dread going into work, Sutton Fell says.

Same as above.

 Your company is sinking. There’s no need to go down with this ship, Taylor says. “Put on your life preserver and get in the water.”

In my case, the organisation is flourishing.  New building is coming up and very quickly we will be refurbishing our department as we get bigger space, etc.  It's not sinking.

You really dislike the people you work with and/or your boss. You can try to work out the problems you’re having with colleagues or your manager—but know that sometimes they’re not fixable.

Yes, because of the poor system here, no one seems to know what we are supposed to do.  It's like the blind leading the blind.  Things are last minute when things could have been completed way before the deadline.  The bosses like to keep things to the last minute and I have no idea why is that so.  The system is so badly designed that humans have to make up for all the things the system can't do.  My new subordinate is such a baby that he needs to be spoon-fed.  Luckily I don't have to change his diaper too.  If I don't push him, he won't tell me his progress.  And delaying things.  Even simple Excel he cannot do.  Yes, a senior.

You’re consistently stressed, negative, and/or unhappy at work. If you get anxious or unhappy just thinking about work, that’s a good sign that it’s time to move on, Sutton Fell says.


Your work-related stress is affecting your physical health. “The work, people, or culture is unhealthy, and it has a negative impact on you physically and mentally,” Hockett says. “The stress is present both inside and outside of work; it’s consuming. Your family and friends are affected by this, too.” Taylor says when work starts affecting your health–physical, mental, or both–it’s time to get out.

Yes.  Thank God for Sahaja Yoga.

You don’t fit in with the corporate culture and/or you don’t believe in the company anymore. “You feel that there are ethical or moral differences in how the company and you believe the firm should operate; cultural differences; work ethic clashes, and so on,” Taylor says. Whatever the issue, you’re morally misaligned with your employer, and it’s an uncomfortable workplace setting.

Yes, especially since that incident which I was the whistle blower.  

Your work performance is suffering. If you’re no longer productive at work, even though you’re capable of performing the task(s), you might want to start looking for new work, Hockett says.

SOOOOO yes!  I don't really know what I am doing now.  Compiling info into Excel sheet?  Really?

You no longer have good work-life balance. When you find that you’re spending less time with your family because of work, or you cannot commit the necessary time to your job, you should consider looking elsewhere, Sutton Fell says.

Not really.  I still get weekends off and manage to go home by 7pm.  But it's the traffic jam that sucks.

Your skills are not being tapped. Management doesn’t acknowledge that you have more to offer than what you’ve been contributing for a significant amount of time, you’ve been passed over for promotion, or attempts to take on more challenging assignments have failed, Taylor says. “No one has said anything, however, you are no longer getting the plum assignments, you are no longer asked to attend key meetings, or your proposals are met with silence or denial,” Hockett adds. “These are signs that you should be looking for a new opportunity.”

Yes and no.  I have took up a challenging portfolio but not performing well due to poor system and organisation.  During our performance review, my boss asked me what I would like to do and I said anything.  Looks like I also made a mistake here.

Your job duties have changed/increased, but the pay hasn’t. Sometimes there’s a good reason for this—but Sutton Fell says it’s usually a sign you should go. “When downsizing has moved your team into double time, but certainly nowhere near double compensation, it may be time to move on,” Taylor says. That’s especially true if the company is performing well, but it’s not reflected in your salary or other rewards.

Yup!  So true.  With GST coming, it's even worse.

Your ideas are not being heard. If your ideas are no longer heard or valued; you can’t seem to get time with the ‘powers that be’; or you cannot get approvals or acknowledgment for great work, think about finding a new job, Taylor says.

This was there from Day 1.  

You’re bored and stagnating at your job. If you’re not growing or learning anything new, it might be time to leave, Sutton Fell says. Hockett and Kahn agree. They say when you’ve outgrown the position and there is no opportunity for advancement–or you seem to work the same job day in, day out without any opportunity for growth, even though you crave more–it’s time to get out.

I don't really mind being bored at work.  But yeah compiling info into Excel can be a dread.  Good thing is we can go onto the net and surf and watch some YouTube or Facebook.  But I am stagnated at work.  

You are experiencing verbal abuse, sexual harassment, or are aware of any type of other illegal behavior.  If you’re the victim of bullying, sexual harassment or other egregious behavior, you should certainly keep an eye out for other positions, regardless of what corrective measures you’re taking, Taylor says.

Verbal abuse yes.  Sarcastic remark yes.  Rude manners yes.  

Out of 14, 12 are met.  So, what's my decision now?  Resume sent.  Job applied.  Now it's up to Divine.

Monday, January 05, 2015

Review : Yap Chan Kor

Hello everyone!  This is the first post for the year and it's a community service or rather an informative post.

Back in November 2014, I sprained my right ankle rather badly.  In the past, I sprained this ankle multiple times but each time I was able to bounce back without any treatment.  

This time, I felt as if my whole leg has re-positioned.  What happened was I always have this tendency to walk into holes, uneven ground and will sprain my ankle but each time it is not severe.  I neglected it and finally it's payback time.

This time I was wearing high heels (oh-uh) and it was just that one-time high heels and disaster struck.  I rarely wear heels, except for formal functions.  I was pretty unlucky that night.  It was our company annual dinner.  Not only did I not win any lucky draw prizes, as I walked towards the parking, found that the escalator was not working and I have to walk down with my heels.  Upon reaching the ground, I stepped on a folded carpet and that was it.  Lost my balance and sprained my ankle.

Upon reaching the parking ticket machine, found that my parking ticket cannot be read.  So, again went up to the lobby to get a new parking ticket and pay the parking ticket and finally back into my car.

By that time, the pain on my leg was quite annoying, but not so painful as in cannot walk.  So, I thought that the pain will subside in a few days, just like previous times.

I can walk and there's no pain when walking.  But I can't turn my right ankle inward (towards the left) as the pain was intense and when skipping down the stairs, upon reaching the landing, the foot landed in some weird position and sprained it again.

After a disappointed visit to the clinic and when I told the doctor that I can't turn my right ankle inwards and she asked why would I want to do that?  Oh dear.  I didn't take the painkillers or muscle relaxant that she gave.  The cream was not working either.

That's when I decided to go to Yap Chan Kor after few of my friends highly recommended this place.

This place treats patients using Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) and physiotherapy.  There were many patients who goes there, all related to tendons and ligaments, who can't find a solution with western medicine.

Once you made an appointment with them, the therapist will analyse your condition and listen to your history.  Even without x-ray, they can tell you what's your problem.  

Then they will reduce the inflammation on your injury by icing that area.  After that you will be given a light massage using chinese medicinal ointment.  They will also use ultrasound and muscle electrical stimulation on the following days.  Finally, the therapist will teach you exercises that will help to strengthen your muscles, tendons and ligaments to prevent future spraining.

Depending on the severity of your injury, you will be advise on the number of treatments to do.  For the first 5 days, you have to see them back-to-back.  And then subsequently you can skip a day or two.

Basically I was told that after multiple sprains in the past, my tendons and ligaments around my ankle has weakened and loosen.  So this final time was the last straw.  

I signed up for 10 treatments and given 3 physiotherapy sessions free.  For the 10 days, I was given a patch of chinese medicinal herbs each time.  This is the special family recipe that has been brought down from previous generation of the Yap family.

You need to keep the patch on for 15 hours.  It made my ankle looks more severe than it physically was.  The smell was not that bad.  The challenge was not to get it wet.  So, bathing have to be wrapped with cling wrap and no footsoak for the right foot.

This is the muscle electrical simulation session.  It forces the muscle to contract.  Not my favourite session.

I was given multiple exercises to help to strengthen my muscles and ligaments around my ankle to prevent further spraining.  I have to do homework everyday if I want my ankle to recover completely.

I must say that after 10 sessions and 2 free physio, my ankle is much better than before, although it is not completely back to it's original condition.

On top of that, while footsoaking in the beach in Penang, I sprained the same ankle again but this time the other way round.  Earlier, it was twisted inwards and now twisted outwards and it sort of balance it out.  Amazingly the pain, the aches all went off following that.

Walking on the sandy beach also help my balance.

Then after my last physiotherapy, I found out that I have a flatfoot that causes me to be imbalance in my walk.

I have to do a fashion show walking down the hall with patients staring at me.  Yes, there were at least 10 of them sitting on the bench along the hallway.  I have to do a tandem walk which is like walking on a tight rope but on the ground and I found that my balancing is actually quite bad.  

So here's an article that links flatfoot and sprained ankle.  Basically I think what causes all these sprains is from my flatfoot and poor balancing skills.  What more with the high heels, my balance was totally off.

So, with the help of the exercises, hopefully one day I will walk like it was before.  I won't say that I have recovered 100%, after 1 month of no treatment and then after 1 month at Yap Chan Kor, my ankle is at least 80% better than before.  I just can't be lazy and skip the exercises as recommended.

I would highly recommend anyone with physical aches and pains that is related to muscles, tendons, ligaments to go and see them.  They are quite popular and some days can be quite packed.  So do make your appointments in advance.

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Last day of 2014

This year has been challenging for Malaysia and Malaysians.  Hopefully with GST coming on 1st April 2015, the challenge is bearable.

Life is so fragile and unpredictable.  Is Mother Earth angry with us for destruction caused by us?  To end the year with floods and storm that caused AirAsia flight to crash?  

Malaysia has been blessed with no earthquake or volcano or typhoon thanks to the location.  The landslides and floods were man-made.  

I don't know.

Let's not start the year with this sadness.  

Tomorrow is going to be a new year.  I feel time is so limited to do so many things before the new year begins.  Here's how to start a new year:

1. Make something sweet
My colleague learned this from her late father.  To start the year with something sweet.  Make a dessert.  I am going to make a cake for puja.

2. Do and say nice things
Don't ever quarrel or argue with anyone.  Speak positively.  Drop the negative attitude.

3. Spend time with loved ones
If you are single, spend time with God.  If you don't believe in God, spend time with friends.  

4. Meditate, do puja
Get God's blessing for a wonderful year ahead.

5. Eat well
Cook a delicious and satisfied meal.  Begin the year with a satisfied nabhi.


Monday, December 29, 2014

My Year in Review

Ah...It's the time of the year again, to reflect and to reminisce.  Facebook offers to do my year in review using my FB photos but since I was very passive this year, there was hardly anything on FB.

So, here's my year in review:

Made a mistake and started the year badly.  As a result, it was difficult to turn the bad to good.  Throughout the year, it was just bad.  But it could be my attitude towards the whole thing too.  So the whole year was reflecting upon the mistakes I made.  Introspected and found ego is still very strong, liver has been overheated to the max, angry most of the time, health not that great, saying the things I should not and not saying the things I should, etc.

But, here's the good things in life:
Chinese New Year!

 My rose plant gave me 3 beautiful flowers for Valentine's Day.

Celebrated Shri Mataji's birthday


Went to Cameron Highlands and Ipoh with da family.




 Made some rakhis and went to Melaka for puja.

And received lovely presents from the brothers.

Learnt to make some Shri Ganeshas with clay

Celebrated Moon Cake Festivals with da family.

Went to Sahaja Yogis wedding in Seremban and spend lots of time with da nephew.

Went for training at Bandar Enstek.

Successfully made a lovely and delicious butter cake with icing.


And finally, went to Penang for Christmas puja and National seminar and had a very relaxing and fun time, at the beautiful and clean beach and witnessed little Ganeshas being created.  

And for 2015, I vowed to start the year right this time and to be grateful for all the little things in life.  Year 2014 has been a year of local travels.  Hopefully we can make it to India in 2015.


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