Tuesday, March 03, 2015

Intuition / Zodiac / Marriage

There are lots to write and not limited to a certain subject.  So, this is going to be a post of all my recent thoughts.

Instincts / Intuition / Sixth Sense
From young, I have a very strong sixth sense.  I didn't know what it was until I read about it when I was in my teens.  I can't remember much of how my sixth sense worked, but here's one that I can remember:

I was 18 or 19 years old.  I was hanging wet clothes to dry on the line in my backyard.  Suddenly I was reminded of a friend, John.  We hardly meet and not very close.  And yet all of a sudden, I thought of him.  And seconds later, a red Proton Satria droved by.  Then I realised, John drives one.  Although that was not John in the car, but to have a sixth sense that something going to happen, weird in all ways, but true.

Many times my sixth sense worked in a strange way, not always bad, not always good but not extreme like some others.  There are also many times I have a dejavu.  Like for example, I saw something in my dream and it happened in real life, exactly like in the dream.  Sometimes it's so useless that I can only see it happened, but nothing to do to change it.

After Sahaj, I thought maybe I am too right-sided to have all these things.  But it still happened.

Last Saturday, after leaving the centre, while waiting for a Sahaj brother and hubby to throw rubbish, I was waiting near the car.  It was quiet although opposite of a restaurant.  I was having my new sling handbag and all of a sudden, I have a very bad feeling.

I had a feeling that I was in danger and that my bag could be snatched easily as I was alone in a quiet and dark place.  

They came back and we got into the car and nothing happened, though while trying to take out my sling bag, my mangalsutra came out.  So we got home safe and sound.

But when I opened Facebook and Whatsapp, found that one Sahaj brother got slashed and was bleeding profusely.  He was trying to protect his wife when the snatch thieves tried to steal her bag, right in front of our centre, just after we left.  He punched the snatchers (2 of them on a bike) and one slashed him badly.  He was hospitalised and had surgery.  The cut was deep but he is fine now.

See, these feelings are real.  But there's nothing I could do to change things.  It was like useless, sometimes disappointing.  Sometimes it's better not to know.

Sometimes I wish they can be useful.  Like to know something in the future, say, better luck in the future or financially well, you know what I mean?  Then again, that's futuristic.

Year of the my zodiac
So I have been told that this year is not a good year for me.  According to my mom, I should wear colors that are good for me and avoid bad luck colors.  

According to my this year's Chinese horoscope, the year is indeed not a smooth year.  In order to prevent bad things from happening, I was advised to be humble, down-to-earth and not get into a fight with anybody, be patient and well-manners.  Even if there are anything that I disagreed, it is better to keep quiet than to raise a point as the outcome will turn out bad.  In other words, don't be egoistical.  This year is a year that doesn't go well and doesn't side with me.  Weird that although it's my zodiac year, it is bad for me.

Since coming to Sahaj, I don't really believe in horoscope so much.  But sometimes it'a nice to read.  Sometimes it's good to know.

Like for example, isn't it a good idea to be humble, down-to-earth, be patient and all that?  That's good moral behaviour and Shri Mataji has spoken so much about it.  Positive attitude attracts positive energy.

I do believe that this year is not going to be a smooth year entirely.  Maybe influence by the horoscope.  Maybe it's my own instincts again.

I find that it's very easy to have people mess up with me.  When driving on the road, there are more incidents in which other cars would suddenly come into your way and you have to be really careful and give way to them to avoid accident.  When in the office, nothing seems to be going my way and everything is stuck somewhere.  When at home, so far walking on eggshells.  

So, it's good to be patient.  It's good to be well-mannered to all.  It's good to be humble.  It's good to surrender the ego.  

It's probably a year of tests for me, but it's ok.  It will be better for my agnya.

Marriage and daily muse
Our marriage hasn't been easy.  But it's not because of internal problems.  Our relationship is good and getting stronger.  It's external, coming from bureaucracy, red tape, opinions, judgments, etc.

Malaysian Immigration is not making things easier for us.  Though we manage to get the visa, but it's only for a year.

The latest thing we want to do to make our marriage a truly Malaysian way, is for him to convert his driving license to a Malaysian license.  Prior to this, what I understand is that it's a very simple process.  But I just read that it's not as easy as I thought.   Application is easy but approval may take time and may not be given.  We have just started the process of translating the document and coming up visit is to get the endorsement from the China Embassy.

Many things also due to his past conditionings that is making things difficult when we get married.  To get past it, need a lot of time and courage and strength and love and encouragement.

Before Sahaj, he led a simple life.  He came from a very conditioned family with very old fashion ideas.  Being the youngest, he followed whatever the parents told.  He thought he will just marry someone at his own city or country and bring her back to his home to live with his family, just like any Chinese men.  But a Sahaj marriage is different.  He married a Malaysian who can't speak or read or write Mandarin and having grown up in China, his English is poor.  Good thing is we both can communicate in Cantonese.  

After marriage, I couldn't get a job in China.  I found that if you don't know Chinese, accountancy or finance background will not bring you near China.  For IT industry, it's OK.  But not Finance.  You need to know how the Chinese accounting works.  Do you know what's a balance sheet or income statement call in China?  Do you even know the accountancy laws in China?  Tough.

Since I can't get a job in China, we both checked vibes and it was cooler for us to move to Malaysia.

So he migrated to Malaysia, frowned upon by his relatives and friends.  But he sacrificed his mundane life to be with me.  

He has to learn English from scratch.  He has to learn how to drive.  For our age, it's not easy to learn something new and for him, coming from a deeply conditioned family, it's not easy to break away from the conditioning.

But he did.

Though our marriage was blessed by Shri Mataji and by Sahaja Yogis, many family and friends don't understand why we ended up together in the first place.  Many non-yogis asked me why I chose him as my husband.  I replied, "Because he is a good man."

But of course, the struggles are real.  He got a job but pays lower than his job in China.  But we manages.

Lately, we have a tough luck at fertility.  It's something that I never shared, especially here in public.  Sometimes I wondered whether we would be parents at all, but the vibes are cool.  We received many advises.  Yogis told us to surrender to the Divine.  Medical professionals told us to eat medication.  In the end, I just gave up.  Children are a blessing from the Divine.  It's up to the realised soul to choose us.

That being said, Sahaj marriage is not always all rainbows and flowers and fragrance and sweetness.  Sometimes there are bitterness, sometimes there are storms, sometimes there are torns, sometimes it stinks.  But because of all these obstacles, it made the marriage stronger.  Just don't give up.  And if both of us meditate together and clear together and surrender our hearts to Shri Mataji and Her alone, then things do work out.  Spiritually we are one.  In fact, Sahaj marriage, made us spiritually stronger.

In this Kali Yuga, the fight is real and very challenging.  No joke about this.  Whether for yuvas, whether for adults like us, the fight is there.  But I have a feeling, a very good feeling that things will fall into place this year.  What exactly I do not know, but things are going to be ok.

Jai Shri Mataji!

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Anyone want to start an app business?

Hi there!  This is a non-Sahaj post.  Today I am going to promote about this course, "How to start an app business?"

My friend has been teaching this course and we (me and another 2 students) were her first students.  Eventually from that course onwards (in July 2014), we have launched 3 apps and above.

And now she is back for more.  Trust me, she is good and will provide guidance to you.

Click here to find out more of her previews.  There are 3 sessions (if you can't make it on any of the dates).  

If you are interested, please do not hesitate to sign up.  It's FREE preview!

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Believe that you are connected

When we got married, we were told that our kundalinis were tied together, for 7 lifetimes.  In fact, I actually felt our kundalinis got tied together.  There was a rush of vibrations, coming from my kundalini and encircling my body, covering all the chakras from Mooladhara to Sahasrara.  This was when he tied the mangalsutra on me.

After marriage, there were hints that our kundalini were tied.  But since it can't be seen with our naked eyes, I often forgot about this.

One time, right after our Sahaj wedding in Cabella, we were back at his house in Foshan.  As the house was still being renovated for our China wedding, tools were all over the place, wall half painted, paints were everywhere and everywhere was covered with dust.  His room, where the altar was kept can't be use as it is all covered with plastic for the paint job.  And the best part was there was no electricity as some of the lights were not fixed yet.

It was about midnight when we arrived at his house.  We had just came back from Cabella and wanted to find a place to meditate and footsoak.  The house was not ready for accommodation and we were staying at a nearby hotel.  Since it was a hassle to bring the whole altar and all the footsoak buckets to the hotel as we were really tired having flew from Malpensa to Beijing, from Beijing to Hong Kong and finally a bus from Hong Kong to Guangzhou.  

Together we decided to put Shri Mataji's photo on the kitchen stove and just meditate and footsoak there.  The place that we chose were actually not ideal but it's the only place that renovations has been completed.  The photo was facing the bathroom and toilet.  The kitchen is very small but we managed in the dark, with just the candle to brighten the place.

You won't believe the amazing vibrations that emitted.  We pulled our ears for the unfavourable environment, but Divine knows better.  When both of us puts our hearts together, vibrations flow and things worked out.

After 3 years of marriage, we started to take things for granted.  Since we were seeing each other everyday and night, we just do our own things most of the time, including meditation.  Sure we meditated together, but he does his own clearing and meditation while I do mine.

But recently, I felt the strong connection between us.  It's simply an amazing story that needs to be shared.

Driving Test Maya
Hubby has motorcycle license but not car.  After marriage, he decided to get a car driving license for our convenience.  There were so many tests that he needed to sit and after each test, he has to wait for a month before he can sit for the next.  He was given 3 years time to complete the whole thing.

Time passes and it was time for him to migrate to Malaysia.  He was left with 2 more tests to go, i.e on-the-road test and written test.  He needs to pass the on-the-road test before sitting for the written test.  However, there was always a maya.  He went back twice to China and failed both times.

After the last time, we were determined to just forget about the whole thing.  But he changed his mind and decided not to give up.

So, off he went this January with a one-way ticket.  January was the due date for the whole driving test.  If he fails this time, he has to start from scratch, which will be a hassle.

The on-the-road test was different from the one here in Malaysia, especially the practice time.  In Malaysia, a person must complete at least 16 hours of practical lessons before he can sit for the test.  In China, a person only need to go for 2-3 hours of lesson before the test.  And the lesson is either on the day of the test or before.  If you want extra lessons, get it from a private instructor.

So obviously, the stress was there.  Hubby never got the chance to drive in China or Malaysia to practise.  It's quite impossible to pass the test with just 2-3 hours of lessons.

Anyhow, this time was his last chance.  We decided to do all our Sahaj homework and then surrender the results to the Divine.  This time we footsoaked together, meditated together, recited mantra together, and prayed together.  Yes, I have to admit, it was different from the other times that he went back to China.

On the day of the test, I could feel his nervousness.  Started having gastric pain and heartburn, which was unusual for me.  I knew deep inside, that that was his emotions.

So this time, I did something out of the ordinary.  I stopped work and prayed to Shri Mataji.  I have a small photo of Shri Mataji on my desk.  I did the normal raising kundalini and bandhan with my attention (so that colleagues don't feel strange) and meditated.  I cleared my nabhi which was acting up and void too.  'Shri Mataji, please give him strength and courage to pass his test.'  'Shri Mataji, please let him be his own guru.'  Shri Mataji, please remove all the obstacles that is preventing him from passing the test.'

And then my nabhi calmed down and I was in deep meditation.  I could not close my eyes as I was still at my workplace but I could feel a sense of peace and comfort and vibrations.  'Shri Mataji, please send these beautiful vibrations to hubby.'  'Shri Mataij, please calm him and remove his nervousness.'

And voila, he passed!

I have forgotten that we were connected eventhough we were miles apart.  By doing this prayer, our kundalini spontaneously re-connected again and he told me he felt calmer this time.  I told him I could feel him.

And then the same thing happened for his written test and 100% passes.

Many times, there is this connection but I have often forgotten about it.  When he is down and unhappy, I could sense something is wrong even if he doesn't want to tell me.  When I became too right-sided, he immediately became too left-sided and it's a sign for us to clear.  When he can't sleep at night, I too can't sleep at night.  I could sense the stress and trouble.

I am not sure if he could sense the same from me.  I guess only the shakti has this power to share with the hubby, the power to give strength to the hubby and the power to understand and give him compassion.

Happy V day to you!

Friday, February 13, 2015

Shri Mataji, please undo the evil that men have done

Found this prayer on Facebook and thought it's really beautiful and forgiving.  Here, it's customize for Malaysia.

Shri Mataji, please forgive all wrong things that my country men have done in this country.

Shri Mataji, please forgive all the Sahaja Yogis for their ignorance, aggression and lack of compassion and forgiveness.

Shri Mataji, please forgive all the Sahaja Yogis who have done wrong.

Shri Mataji, please forgive all wrongdoings done by my ancestors.

Shri Mataji, please undo all evil that men have done.

Lastly, Shri Mataji, please forgive me for all mistakes committed knowingly or unknowingly.

And saw this from WhatsApp group :

There are four yugas widely accepted in Hinduism.  They are:

1. Satya yug
2. Treta yug (Ramayana)
3. Dwapara yug (Mahabharata)
4. Kali yug (Present)

In Satya yug, the fight was between two worlds.  (Devalok and Asura lok)  Asura lok being the evil was a different WORLD.

In Treta yug, the fight was between Rama and Ravana.  Both rulers from two different COUNTRIES.

In Dwapara yug, the fight was between Pandavas and Kauravas.  Both good and evil from the SAME FAMILY.

Kindly note how the evil is getting closer.  For example, from a DIFFERENT WORLD to a DIFFERENT COUNTRY to the SAME FAMILY.

Now, know where is the evil in Kali yug?

It is inside us.  Both GOOD AND EVIL LIVE WITHIN.  The battle is within us.  Who will we give victory to....our inner goodness or the evil within?

Something for us to ponder for the weekend.  Happy Weekend before the CNY!

Monday, February 09, 2015

How to make little Shri Ganesha with Air-dry clay

I would like to dedicate this post to one of the Sahaj sister, Seetha, for sharing the knowledge of making little Shri Ganesha.  So, I am sharing this lovely information with all of you.  Hopefully the little Shri Ganesha will bring you joy and love and lots of vibrations.

Before we begin, just letting you know that if you want to buy air-dry clay and polymer clay in Malaysia, you can get them from Malaysia Clay Art.  They also have tools and accessories and best part is free tutorials for newbies like me.  Their products are cheaper than the outside stores and I love how it came in small packets with 24 colours in one box (I bought Air-dry clay Set E at RM55). Take a look.
Set E - Air Dry Clay (24 x 20g)
Love the colours!  Their service is also very quick.  After you have made the payment, you will get your product in 2 working days (provided they have stock).  They will also send an email to you to update you on your order.  And when they have delivered, another email will be sent to inform you.  I love efficiency.

And the clay is softer and easier to mold.  


Here's how you do it.  (Disclaimer : We (me and hubby) are still amateurs and sharing with what little we know.)

Air-dry clay from Malaysia Clay Art
Wooden board from Daiso
White glue


Before we began, you can make Shri Ganesha sitting on the wooden board or you can make a small stool for him.

Step 1 : Legs and feet

a) Take any colours you like and roll it into 2 balls of the same size.  This is for his legs, wearing the dhoti/veshti
b) For each ball, roll them into a cylinder.
c) Slightly bend them into 'L' shape.
d) Take another colour and roll them into smaller balls like (a).  This is for the feet.

e) Optional : You can shape the feet and use a penknife and make small cuts for the toes.  If you prefer it to be simple, then just leave them as balls.  You can also use toothpick to make marks instead of sculpting them into toes
f) Join the 2 legs at the top.  Remember this will form the buttock.
g) Attach the feet to the legs.
h) Optional : You can make Shri Ganesha sit cross-legged or sit with both feet close like a baby.

Step 2 : Body

a) Use the same colour as the feet and roll into one big round ball.  Remember this will be his belly.  Ensure the ball is big enough to sit on his legs.
b) Optional : You can decorate his body with garland or brahmin string or anything you like.  This is the time to do it before anything else.
c) Gently attach the body on top of his legs.
d) Use a toothpick and gently poke the center of his lower abdomen to create the belly button.  Remember this is an important process.

Step 3 : Arms and hand

a) Use the same colour as the body and feet and roll 2 balls of  the same size.  The balls should be smaller than the leg.
b) Repeat steps from Step 1 (b) to (c).
c) Optional : You can create his hands with another 2 sets of smaller balls or you can lengthen his hand from the arm.
d) If you choose to create his hands separately, roll 2 smaller balls.  Then use a penknife to shape his hand by making small cuts for the fingers.  Similarly, you can use a toothpick to mark the fingers.  Then attach them to the arm.
e) If you choose to extend the hands from his arm, just slightly flatten the end part.
d) Right hand is the blessing hand and palm should be facing out vertically.
e) Left hand is the hand holding his favourite food and palm should be open facing up.
g) Slowly and gently attach the arms to his body.  Please ensure it is from the shoulders and not in the middle of his body.

Step 4 : Head and trunk

a) Use the same colour as the body, feet, arms and roll into a ball.  Please ensure the size is smaller than the body.
b) Then gently roll the ball to form a carrot shape.  You do this with the sides of your palm.
c) Turn the lower part of the carrot to the left side.  This forms the trunk.  Note : Shri Ganesha's trunk on the right side has another meaning and he is more ferocious.  Left sided trunk is a gentler Shri Ganesha.
d) Poke a toothpick on the top of the body with the sharp side upwards.
e) Gently attach the head to the body with the toothpick as the stabiliser.
f) You can use a toothpick to gently make some marks on the trunk.

Step 5 : Ears

a) Use the same colour as the head and roll into 2 small balls.
b) Flatten the balls and make the shape that you like.
c) Attach to the head.

Step 6 : Food

a) Optional : You can create a small plate to hold his favourite food or just create a modak or ladoo and place it on his left hand.

Step 7 : Tusks

a) Use white clay and roll into 2 small balls.
b) The tusk on the right is broken.  Flatten the end.
c) Roll the left tusk into a carrot shape.
d) Attach to the head.

Note: You might wondered whether the right side is the broken one or vice versa.  Read them here.

Step 8 : Eyes

a) Optional : You can use some small seeds as his eyes or create your own using clay.  You can also make eye-lashes, etc.
b) Use the white and black colour.  Eye white first then black for cornea.

Step 9 : Crown (optional)

a) This step is optional.  You can make a crown, tiara, hat, cap, anything your creativity can do.

Step 10 : Bindi / vibhuti / tilaka (optional)

a) Another optional step.  Up to you how you would like to decorate Shri Ganesha.

And that's it!  Easy right?  If you have better fingers and able to sculpt, am pretty sure you will make one even more beautiful.

Top view
Ta da!!
Side view
Front view

Wednesday, February 04, 2015

Today is the first day of spring

According to the Chinese calendar that is and today mark the first day of the Year of the Goat, not 19th February 2015, which is the Chinese New Year day.  

Today acts as the same day as 1st January 2015.  So, think positive thoughts, do not argue, do not cry, do not feel sad, be happy and the whole year will be bless with positive energy.

I am glad that the sickness has passed.  Yes, my family was down with stomach virus for the past few days, violent and unforgiving.  I truly believe that one day, if Divine wants to wipe off human beings on this earth, it will be a virus.

The scary part is there is no medication to stop the virus.  Only medication to control the symptoms.  And the way it spread was very fast and efficient.  You just need to get in contact with the person who has been contaminated.  

If you can't stand Too Much Information (TMI), then please skip this paragraph.  My nephew first had it on a Thursday.  He quickly recovered from the vomiting but the purging started.  My father came in contact with his vomit and immediately fell sick on Friday.  Same symptoms, vomiting and purging.  The very violent type, not the morning sickness type.  Then since my father was down, during the weekend, I helped to look after my nephew.  I ate his unfinished food and cleaned his poo.  On Saturday, my nephew vomited again and this time my sister cleaned.  On Monday, both my sister and I were down.  For me, it started with stomach discomfort.  It's not the usual cramp.  It's as if something in there wants to come out but can't.  I managed to sleep off but woken up at 2am and ran to the toilet to vomit.  Everything came out.  Then went back to sleep.  Woken up again at 4am and this time purging started.  And it was non-stop until around 9am.  Yes, non-stop, like pipe leaking.  I can't even leave the toilet.  The stomach also had painful cramps every few minutes.  Really, really painful but short.  Like contractions.  No appetite for any food.

The medication was there to stop the vomiting and charcoal to absorb all the impurities and poison in the stomach.  But nothing can stop this virus from spreading.  No antibiotic as it is a virus, not bacteria.  That's how scary it was.

Thankfully, the whole ordeal only lasted 1 day, for the adults.  I have hibernated and literally fasted (except for oral re-hydration salt) for one full day and more energy the next.  For my nephew, it took 5 days.

And today all of us are well again to start this Year of the Goat.  And I read something very nice online that makes me smile from ear to ear.

Today is also the day I finally found the 2 Facebook groups that so many were talking about.  And was accepted into both.  And read and read.  And there's so much of respect and love and dignity in the posts.  Unlike some other that I read.  I enjoyed it very much.  Feel so real.  

I have to admit, compare to the other collectives around the world, the Malaysian collective is very much protected from all these maya.  Yes, there are funny yogis every now and then, all clouded by their ego.  But nothing as major as some of the other collectives.  

Past few days before I fell sick, some introspection was going on, some question I had in my head.  Why is it that the older the person is, the ruder he becomes?  Then I got the answer.  The person lacks happiness.  When a person lacks joy in his heart, he puts down others to make himself feel better.  He cannot accept the truth that his life sucks.  Actually, if he is happy and accept everything as it is, then he won't think he is at a bad place.

Then it made me wonder, will I become like that one day?  Because right now, I feel I am in an unhappy place.  I am not talking about location.  But generally speaking.  Then I got another answer today.  Stop feeling you are a victim and you will have the power again.  

Wow!  And I am not even sure my connection is that strong to get these answers.

One last one before I end this post.  Something I read online made me reacted.  In my head, I started criticizing.  Then I got an answer.  Before you criticize, walk in their shoe first.  In this time and day, it's so easy to criticize anyone online.  I think it's because the other person doesn't know you and it's easier to type than say it out loud.  Talk about being a coward.  Keyboard warrior as they are termed.  Or better still, troll.

I remembered Shri Mataji's saying, not in Her exact words, but basically that some people who criticizes art but can't even hold a brush.  Same with those who criticizes about singing when they can't even hold a note.  Sometimes it amuses me.  Sometimes not.

OK, so that's all for now.  Happy Goat Year!  It's my year ~ blush~.  I am so excited that tonight I will be going back to make a tutorial about making Shri Ganesha out of clay.  Yes, can't wait.

Friday, January 16, 2015

The Shakti Within

Since coming into Sahaja Yoga, I have always heard Shri Mataji spoke about being a Shakti.  

The woman of the house ( gruhlaxmi) is the shakti of the house. So in a way there should be a very deep oneness with her. When this gets disrupted then a woman leaves her wisdom and gets upset, and sometimes she can be like a bomb, will quarrel; by this a bad influence comes on the children and the society starts breaking. When society breaks then the children will break. All wrong things will come into them and they will go astray. And the discipline of the home gets spoiled. In the house where there is no discipline the children get ruined, the society gets ruined. - Excerpt from New Year's Eve Puja 1997

If she quarrels and argues with everyone then she is not a shaktiShakti means that you can integrate with everything. The highest. Whatever happens you are above it all. Then you are the Shakti, but if you got suppressed then you are not the shakti. - Excerpt from New Year's Eve Puja 1997

You should not compete with men. What is there to compete with them? You are much better off. You are like the Mother Earth. You can bear anything. You can do whatever. You are shakti. What is there to dominate a man, and to compete with a man? I mean, it would be like a horse competing with the man who rides the horse. - Excerpt from 28 May 1985 talk

Till the purity and loving mother like qualities develop in a woman the Grahalakshmi Shakti does not get awakened in her. But she should be wise. Grahalakshmi has to be wise and intelligent. So we can say that when this Mahakali Shakti gets cool and peaceful it becomes Grahalakshmi. - Excerpt from Shri Adi Shakti Puja 1994

But the nature of women should be peaceful and glorious…..their shakti has that peace.
By becoming aggressive she looses her shakti. By her peace and love she can win whole world. Her walking, her talking, her dressing and style should all be just like devi(deity). 
- Excerpt from Shri Adi Shakti Puja 1994

Three kind of Shaktis are described. Comforter is the first on left side. Right side is councilor and central is called redeemer. These are the three Shaktis of Holy Ghost. So, when you enter into the central channel you become Sadhaka and Mahalakshmi rushes on you. Mahalakshmi blesses him. It is very difficult for the Shakti of Mahalakshmi to ascent because mind sometimes goes to left and sometimes to the right. - Excerpt from Shri Adi Shakti Puja 1994

You are the Shakti. You are the power. If you make your men cabbages what sort of children you’ll have? Cabbages only. Respect them. Make them men, enjoy their manliness. Then they’ll never give you up. There’s no competition between the two. - Excerpt from Shri Kartikeya Puja 1986

It wasn't until I became a wife, that I know the meaning of a Shakti.  Till now, I am not sure if I have grasp the whole meaning correctly.  I can see lots of ladies having this power and the Lakshmi power, especially Indian ladies.  

Nowadays, I find many mothers are not really a mother.  Quote from an uncle who is a seeker but went to a false guru.  But still his words were very wise, coming from his experience.  He said and I quote, "Many women are not mothers.  They gave birth and let others bring their children up.  Baby-sitter, relatives, grandparents, etc.  How many women actually bring up their child on their own?  All busy working."

This uncle had a very sad background.  He has 4 daughters but lost his only son when he was only an infant.  His son died from burns of hot water.  I didn't dare to ask further, whether it was cause by babysitters or what.  But what I understand, no matter how difficult their family life is, his wife never works and brought up their 4 daughters on her own.

I have to agree with his quote.  It's true that many women gave birth and gave their child to others to look after.  I was upset when I found that one of my friend's second child was with his babysitters 24/7.  My friend only 'visits' him but doesn't bring him home.  

With the difficulty in the society to cope financially, many women are coming out to work.  Many corporations are also more women friendly, by giving longer maternity leaves and flexible working hours to cope with family life.  

I myself was brought up entirely by my grandmother, aunt, babysitter and domestic helper.  Both my parents were too busy working on shifts, 7 days a week.  It was only when they have completely retired that we were able to spend more time together.

I did resented that my parents didn't spend much time with us.  But I understand.  The money they brought in gave us comfort and enough for us to live a comfortable life.  It was enough for us to have decent education too.

At work, I can see my female colleagues struggling to keep the family life in balance.  Most of them have babysitters, whether it's their grandma, mother, mother-in-laws or some aunties as babysitters.  They too struggle during weekends.  They want the best for their kids, but have little time to do so.  If they won't work, it's not enough for the family.

I would love to be like some Sahaja Yoginis who are full-time mom.  I would love to give 100% attention, 24/7 to my child.  But I know that's not possible, not for me.  I just pray and hope, that should I have a child, we will be able to bring him/her up in the Sahaj environment as much as possible, be with yogis as much as possible and does not lack love from us.  I hope we will be the first person he/she sees every morning and the last person he/she sees every night.

Mother's love is very important especially growing up.  

It was only until my mom has been confined within the hospital walls that I felt the lack of Shakti power in me.  The tasks and chores that she one person did, took 3 of us to do and yet we can't do a better job.  So here I learned.  Woke up early to boil soup.  Cook my nephew's porridge and breakfast.  Packed my lunch.  And still managed to footsoak before going to work.  Since I finishes work late, hubby have to pack dinner.  No time for cooking.

But we managed.  Just not that well.  The soup was tasteless.  The vegetable was too salty.  The rice was too much.  And we were all so tired by the end of the day.  So much more to learn.  When my mom is discharged, I will learn how to cook.  Find out the ingredients that she put in the soup.  

Still learning to be the shakti within.  Life long education.


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