Happy Mother's Day

What a challenging Mother's Day was yesterday.  Both our moms are sick.  His being far away, and he can't do anything about it, except to give her a bandhan and surrender to the Lotus Feet of Shri Mataji.  

Mine, I realised she has done so much for us.  When she is sick, we can't even do something back for her.  Well, I tried to take over her duties, I didn't make a mess out of it, but it wasn't as good as how she did it.  And her one-woman show, we need the whole household to do.

Moms, what do we do without you?

This Mother's Day, I want to thank Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi, also known as Mrs Nirmala Srivastava, also our Spiritual Mother.  For those who doesn't know who she is, please read her short biography here.

She gave me my self-realisation on 8th April 1999.  Ever since then, my life changed dramatically.  All for the good.  All for the better.

There were times when I drifted far away from Her, but She always bring me back to the path, the path of truth.  

When I was quite new in Sahaja Yoga back then, my cousin's death shook my whole world.  I was only few months into Sahaj.  At that time, I just wanted answers.  No condolences, no words, no actions could comfort me.  I was so down and out that even distant relative who had never spoken a word to me, who were nasty to me before, came and spoke to me and comforted me.  But that's not what I wanted.  I wanted answers.

And Shri Mataji gave me answers.  She lifted me up.  She answered all my prayers and questions.  She showed me the path of truth.  She gave me a second chance.

I began to understand this universe and how it works.  I began to see myself for who I am.  I began to know and differentiate what is truth and what is not.

She showed me what is love and gave me lots of it.  She gave me powers to forgive, to love and to be compassionate to others.  

She taught me how to be a good wife and how to be a loving daughter.  She taught how to balance ourselves, how to keep our subtle system cleanse, how to meditate and how to get into thoughtless awareness.

It is now when the world is in such a chaos that I realised, Her work is so massive.  She worked tirelessly for humanity, for all mankind.  For all of us.

Shri Mataji, I am thankful for all that You have given us.  Your love for us is eternity.  We will continue Your work.  Shri Mataji, we love You very much!

Thank You again and again!  No words can expressed our heartfelt gratitude to You.

Opinions, opinions, opinions

Recently after the Malaysian 13th General Elections, there was a lot of hype on Facebook.  From being excited, to anger, from being together, to racist.

I have seen, old friends, whom had known each other for many years, turning against each other, just because of different opinions on politics.

Politicians are rallying up people to support their side, whether pro-Govt or pro-Opposition.  And they are desperately trying hard to the extent that they don't really care what they say or do, as long as they can get the people on their side.

But there are also strangers supporting each other, due to the same belief in politics.

Many people are coming together to fight for their rights, to fight for fairness, to fight corruption.  But this is the correct method to do?  TO fight?

“The Roots of Violence: Wealth without work, Pleasure without conscience, Knowledge without character, Commerce without morality, Science without humanity, Worship without sacrifice, Politics without principles." - Mahatma Gandhi

I don't know what is right or what is wrong, but I do know what has good vibrations and what doesn't.

"Now to develop this Ekadesha Rudra power one has to develop a tremendous power of detachment, power of detachment-detachment from negative. For example, negativity can come from very near people like brother, mother, sister ; could come from relatives. It could come from a country, it could come from your political ideas, economic ideas, anything like that. Any misidentification can destroy your power of Ekadesha Rudra. So it is not only sufficient to say that “/ am surrendered to Sahaja Yoga and I am a Sahaja Yogi,” but you must know mentally also what is Sahaja Yoga. So that intelligently you understand what is Sahaja Yoga. Because in the west specially people are over-intelligent, and if the light of Sahaja Yoga does not enter into their intelligence you can never overcome your attachments. That does not mean you talk too much about Sahaja Yoga or you give lectures on that, but mentally you should also understand what is Sahaja Yoga." 
Extract from Shri Mataji's speech on Shri Ekadesha Rudra Puja,  1984.

Do we want to spoil our Ekadesha Rudra because of politics?

I just feel sad that people are arguing with each other, most of it rude, provoking more anger, creating hatred, spreading lies and rumours.

There are many things that we do not know.  Our little brain is not able to understand.  Not yet.  There is a bigger picture to all this.

We are all ONE.  Just stay calm and collected.  Witness and not react.  Watch the play.  Be detached and surrender.  Whatever colour our skin is, what runs deep inside is coloured red.

I wrote this poem some time back and amended a little here:

The world is full of colours,

But all we see is ours.

So when will we realise that,

The sole colour that flows,

Deep beneath every skin is Red.

Our children will create,

The world of tomorrow,

Teach them not about colours,

But of the various cultures.

Enjoy the purity and innocence of Shri Ganesha.  Enjoy the beauty and fragrance of mogra.  Both combine, enjoy the serenity and calmness.

An open letter to Shri Mataji

Dear Shri Mataji,

In a few days time, it will be Sahasrara Day, 5th of May.  On this auspicious day this year, it also coincides with the 13th Malaysian General Election.

As Sahaja Yogis are blessed to have the power to feel the truth on our subtle system, on our fingers, on our physical bodies, given by You, O Divine Mother, we are grateful for our Self-Realisation.

Unfortunately, there are many people out there who are not yet realised.  Some people are still arrogant and racist.  There are many things that are happening to our country, Malaysia.  While we hope that there will be a better Malaysia, no matter Pro-Government or Pro-Opposition, there are people out there who are still fighting for power, being racist, greedy over money, and now up to evil tricks just to be in control.

Fear is spreading and also anger.  The fight is getting stronger each day and everyone is just waiting for 5th of May.

We pray that there will be peace and stability.  We pray for truth to be out.  We pray for Divine intervention.

O Mother, please put Your Divine Attention on Malaysia.  I personally feel that there is no point talking about who is right and who is not, who is evil and who is not, who is ugly and who is not.  Right now, it is more important to have fairness, peace, end racism, to be united as one and promote love and compassion instead of anger and hatred.

Malaysia is a beautiful country with so much of greenery and lovely weather, just rain and shine, throughout the year.  If only people who rules Malaysia know how wonderful Malaysia is, instead of destroying it through greed of power and money.

Dear Shri Mataji, only You, the Shri Adi Shakti who has created this Universe, only You can make changes.  Please bless Malaysia.

Thank You again and again.

Love from one of your Malaysian children.

Motivating myself

I have been reading a motivational book and it has been very enlightening.  It's call 'The Slight Edge' and it talks about how to change your life.  Do you want to remain with the 95% of population who stays exactly where they are because of their way of thinking or do you want to be the outstanding 5% who stood out of the rest and shines in the crowd?  It's all about what's in our mind.  What we are thinking and how it is affecting us.  I haven't finish the book yet and this is what I've got so far.

Little by little, I began to take notice of how my thoughts goes.  Do I think of positive things?  Or is it complaining and blaming the society for everything?  And I realised I was with the 95% crowd.

But without realising, as time goes, I can't stand people complaining their life problems to me.  It came to a point, that I actually told that person off, 'Hey, your life is in your hands.  You have control over it.  If you are not happy, then change whatever it is.  What's the point of staying at the same place that makes you unhappy, over and over again and complain about it to the rest of the world, over and over again?'  

We can choose to be happy or not to be happy.  As per the book, it's easy to change, it's also easy not to change.  We have a choice.  And I see there's no point being at an unhappy place.  

What does complaining get you?  Change the environment?  Change the people?  Change the management?  Do you think so?

You can't change the others.  You can only change yourself.  

I met a 19 years old girl lately.  She is already a mother to a 6 month old child.  But she sacrifices her education.  So, life is tough, earning whatever she can with no college degree.  Her husband is also quite young and just stepped into the working world.  But the way she goes, spending money on unnecessary things, complaining how everyone in the world treats her badly, how everyone is so unfair and what a poor thing she is.  

I was reflecting and she sounds like me.  As she goes on complaining, I just shut my ears.  So she made some decisions that affected her life, i.e having a baby at a young age instead of continuing her education.  But shall we blame our parents for that?  

It's our attitude that's what is going to determine how our life is going to be.

I was also a complainer.  Unhappy with the world and complain about every single thing in my life.  And I mean EVERY SINGLE THING UNDER THE SUN.  

But lately, strange things has been happening to me.  Things that frustrates me are becoming a joke.  Traffic jams are not so unbearable.  Work is busy but it's just something that we need to do.  People are weird, but it's just because they are not realised.  There are many idiot drivers, but if everyone just give way, it's smoother.

Instead, I noticed that the sky is very beautiful during sunset.  I am surrounded by people who help, love and care for me a lot.  My food is taken care of.  My life is taken care of.  Life is not perfect, but it's flowing smoothly.  Sometimes things happened, but there's a lesson in every happening.  Also, I don't really care much what others thought of me.  

Then slowly, I noticed that people around me are changing as well.  Maybe the Paramchaitanya is working its magic and people are moving more towards spirituality.  One day, as one colleague was complaining about her life, i.e getting old, not getting anywhere, another colleague stepped up and said "Think happy things and you will be happy.  You only have 24 hours a day.  Why spend even a single second thinking about unhappy things?  What a waste of precious time.  Why think of the past and make yourself miserable?  Past is gone, we can't change a thing.  We can only change to be happy and it's your choice to choose happiness."

Time flies really fast.  In a blink of an eye, it's already April 2013!  So why choose to be miserable?  Yes, our society is changing, some people are getting weirder.  But it is changing.  

I can feel it.  Can you feel it too?

Surrendering to Paramchaitanya

Few days ago, I listened to Shri Mataji's puja talk, on Paramchaitanya in 1989.  I can't find the transcript of this talk in Amruta because I wanted to share some of Her words here.

So, I am going to write something off my head, hopefully not wrong.  Shri Mataji said that Paramchaitanya is watching us and is everywhere.  Sometimes things happened, sometimes things don't happen.  It's for us to learn, whatever is the reason.  So, if we know this principle, then we will be happy with our life.  We have to believe in this power of Paramchaitanya.

So, one morning, while driving to work, I looked up the sky and thought to myself, let's surrender to Paramchaitanya today.  

I was a little early to work and stopped at the traffic lights right before turning into my office, as usual the jam was pretty long, uneventful.  I left my house earlier today because I wanted to leave work sharp at 5.30pm.

Few days ago, my senior manager who took the same route as me, said that he took a 'short-cut', not really short, but no jam and so time taken is lesser.  So, I thought to myself, hmmm, since I am a little early today, why don't I give it a try?

It was a nice drive along quiet roads.  Sure enough, there were no cars.  I thought, hmmm, this is a gem.  No one knows this secret road yet.  I could do this more often in the future.  Finally, after some nice view, I reached the crossroads where I have to cross over to turn to the opposite direction in order to get to my office.  But the jam was pretty long there and it was difficult to cross and a car was already waiting behind me.  So, I turned along the road instead and continue driving, hoping I can make a U-turn somewhere.  But all the road signs said, NO U-TURN.  I drove straight and finally came to a MAJOR JUNCTION and was SUPER JAM.  

Then I realised, OMG, I reached the infamous junction, favourite for jams, 7 days a week.  I don't know how I got there.  This is one road that everyone wants to avoid.

So having no choice and can't turn back to that road, I have to continue driving.  I drove along the jam and make a u-turn and have to take another long road back to my office and the consequence of my actions was late for work by half an hour!!!  I reached office at 9am when I could have easily arrived at 8.15am.  Work starts at 8.30am.

Since I was already late and my usual parking spot taken, so I have to park much further.  Hey, Kavita who is sitting next to me, also parked here, which is unusual.  So I thought to myself, never mind, today I will have a company to walk with me.

Towards the end of the work day, there was heavy thunderstorm.  Colleagues who left sharply at 5.30pm was stuck in a jam trying to get out of the office compound, not moving for 45 minutes.  Since Kavita and I were late, we have to stay on and leave later.  So, those colleagues advised us not to leave office.  Bad jam everywhere.  Everyone is stucked!!!

We stayed on until 8pm and since I have a someone to accompany me to walk to the car, that was fine.  And guess what, the roads were so smooth at 8pm and I reached home by 8.30pm.  Those who actually left at 5.30pm reached half an hour earlier, i.e 8pm.

So, when I sat down and think about the power of Paramchaitanya, something are not meant for us to know.  And things happened and some things don't happen as per our wish, but in the end, it was for our benevolent.  We have to look at the big picture to see this.

Try it today!  Surrendering your all to the power of Paramchaitanya and let it take you, wherever it wants.  You will be surprise and life is not the same anymore.

Dr Arun Apte's music

On the way to work this morning and found the roads were extraordinarily jam, so I hooked my earphones and started listening to the late Dr Arun Apte's live performance in 1998.  This is one of the advantages of having a smartphone with Data Plan, that you can surf the web anytime, any day, anywhere.  

So, I opened Youtube and since I was having a bad headache, Raag Bhoop for the Agnya was the first choice.  It was soothing and there were times, when the music suddenly climax, it feels as if the music was trying to push out something.  Clearing.  Then when that ended, I selected Raag Darbari for the Sahasrara.

From a dramatic Raag Bhoop to a slower and quieter Raag Darbari, there's calmness on the Sahasrara.  And watching Shri Mataji listening to this gave a sense of security and comfort.  I wasn't listening so much to how the music was being sung, but rather was enjoying how the raga was flowing.

When I first heard the late Dr. Arun Apte and his wife, Surekha Apte sung at the Sahaj weddings in Ganapatipule 2002 and then in Pune 2008, I was lost in the world of the taal and rhythm.  I especially love the mantra sung by both of them, their voices combined further make us feel the union of God together with the union of the blessed couples.  This auspicious mantra gave so much of joy and love, to the married couples as well as to the audience.

Below is a video that I have taken using my mobile phone.  The picture is not very clear and voice quality is also not that great.  But you can hear very well, how beautiful their voices intertwining with each other and with our spirits.

I was secretly hoping that I would be able to hear this again, on my wedding day.  Unfortunately, he passed away shortly before that.  During my wedding, they were just reciting the mantra instead of singing them.  Still work, but being a musical person, felt it was not a perfect wedding without both of them singing.

I do not know Dr Arun Apte personally, but I do feel his voice and music does bring heights to us yogis.  The way he discovered which raga for which chakra and his knowledge in music was so deep and immense.

I wasn't so appreciative of ragas and indian classical music until I joined the Sahaj music class taught by one of Dr Arun Apte's students.  Understanding the intricacies of indian classical music and ragas increased my interest in Sahaj music.  I had Western musical background and found it to be too rigid at times.  Indian classical music is much more spontaneous and relaxing.

Just few days ago, I was feeling a little down.  I just sat in front of the harmonium and started playing Dha, Sa, Re and sang Ham Ksham.  Immediately the Agnya feels lighter and brought me back to balance.

At times, listening to ragas like this brings serenity to a hectic environment.  This music is so precious and it should not be wasted.  I wish I can sing this wedding mantra and much more.  Just too beautiful not to!

Music to our ears

Sharing with you what music can really do to us, especially Sahaja Yoga music.

On Shri Mataji's Birthday Puja day, I was a little out-of-balance.  Rushed to the puja and was unable to clear and footsoak beforehand.  I felt a little guilty about it, then when I reached the puja venue, I placed both hands on the Mother Earth to ground myself.  Still not good enough.  Was reacting badly to a phone call.

Just as we were about to start, a yogini sister's 1 year old boy came and started standing up and facing me and laughing and raised his hands up and down, as if raising his own Kundalini.  But I could feel that my kundalini was coming up and vibrations were becoming lighter.  Still slight heat but better.  He was in fact, raising my Kundalini when everyone thought he was just playing with me. 

My husband was sitting behind me.  After Shri Mataji's talk, Her message was directly aiming at me, at least that's what I felt, selfishly.  She said to love everyone, including those who hurt us.  And no need to spend so much time putting our attention on these people who have yet to get their self-realisation.  We should love them instead.  And I was so touched and felt my heart opened a little.  I got the answers to all my frustrations.

By that time, I felt happy.  I wasn't reacting to my surroundings, although there were some maya here and there.  I was just happy to be there.  As we began singing bhajans, my husband could feel the bhajan group contributing their vibrations to me via music.  I can't feel anything, but was feeling more and more joyful as time goes.  He was more sensitive to the vibrations and could feel it.  And he felt, the more I sang, the more the music is helping me and relaxes me.  It was the collective singing that helped me.

Another time, during Shivaratri Puja this year, when we were singing one of Shri Shiva's bhajans.  If not mistaken, it was 'Dam Dam Damroo Baje' and suddenly I felt a spark in my heart and then it opened and so much of joy was emited.

"Please continue singing.  Music really helps you.  I can see how much better you felt, when you respond to music and music responds to you," said my husband to me quietly, while we were in the car heading home after Birthday Puja.  He was reminding me to continue practising singing which I have kinda stopped and only do once a while and taking it for granted.

In fact, for Birthday Puja, my voice was really not top-class and towards the end, I was croaking away.  It could be better though, so I hope to keep this up.  Music calms the soul and relaxes the mind.  Also vibrations were so much better because music make us thoughtless.