Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Raksha Bandhan - Making rakhis

I have always looked forward to Raksha Bandhan, every single year.  Maybe because the gifts are attractive.

Every year, we have been making simple rakhis, in huge amount, to be distributed out to the collective.  This year, I learned to make rakhi the Indian way.  It's really simple to do but takes more time than the simple string that we have been making year after year.


I used DMC embroidery threads that is from my abandoned cross stitch project.  Sorry, but I don't have the step-by-step method in pictures.

Materials:
Embroidery thread - normal colour
Embroidery thread - silver or gold
Fork
Glue gun
Beads / little flowers for decoration
A partner to help you (optional but better)

Method:
1. To make the centerpiece, first, take out 1 gold or silver embroidery thread and separate it from the main bundle.  The whole bundle consist of 6 threads.  Just take 1 out or the 6.

2. Take a fork and wrap the coloured embroidery thread (the full bundle with 6 threads) and 1 gold or silver thread that you have taken out in Step 1 around the top of the fork (the part where you pick up food with) many times, horizontally.  You need to make sure it is thick enough to make it fluffy.  Otherwise it would look scattered.

3. Cut the threads.  In between the fork's teeth, tie up the threads in the middle.  Make sure it is tight.  Remove from fork and cut the edges.  Make sure there is no close threads.

4.  Spread open the threads to make it into a circle.  And trim the edges to make it round.



5. To make the string, take 2 different colour thread and cut 2 piece each at the same length.  Make sure it is long enough to tie around the wrist.

6. Tie a knot at one end.  Separate the threads.  Up to you how you want the design to be.  You can take one colour while your partner take another colour of 2 piece of thread each.  Both of you pull it tight and hold the end.  And twist clockwise.

7.  Once it is tightly twisted, one person hold the knotted end, and another person hold the open end.  Make sure none of you let go or else you would have to repeat the whole thing again as it will get untwisted.

8.  Once both of you are ready, then the one holding the knotted end let go.  Now you will get a nicely twisted string.  Tie the knot at the other end to close it.  Your string is ready.

9. Use glue gun and stick some beads or flowers on the centerpiece.  Then use the glue gun to stick it on the string.  My mom was helping me with the glue gun and she didn't use that to stick the centerpiece to the string.  Instead, she just tied the string around the centerpiece.  That created a gap as you can see in the first picture.  Instead of a nice round centerpiece, you see 2 gaps.  Not very nice.

10.  Your rakhi is ready.

I know my instructions may not be so clear.  Next time I would post some pictures.

Friday, August 05, 2016

Hungry Ghost Festival

Every year, the Chinese would celebrate the Hungry Ghost Festival, which falls on the 14th day of the 7th month of the lunar calendar.  What they do is offer food and do some prayers to appease the ghosts in the hope that these negativities doesn't disturb the living.  

According to the Chinese beliefs, the Hell gates open on the 1st day of the 7th lunar month.  For the whole of the 7th lunar month, prayers and food and nowadays performances would be offered to appease them.

Nowadays, the organisers would set up a huge tent, a performing stage, tables and chairs and a huge, gigantic altar and organise some dinner or sorts in several housing estates to do this prayer.  On the 1st day of the 7th lunar month, the performers would start performing but to an empty audience.  The living would keep away because that day is set for the ghosts to watch.  Sounds eery, no?

What I cannot comprehend is the way the performers are dressed and the music when they performed.  It's way too sexy and the music would be blasting away, so loud until I can hear it while footsoaking although it's located like 5km away.

And being in Sahaj, I cannot understand the need of the festival.  Why are we praying to them instead of God?  The more powers we give them, the more powerful they become, no?

Believe it or not, these negativity are very strong during these times.  Whether they are appeased or not, they are there because we give them even more power.  And they come and affect us.  Not like possession or sorts but they affect our emotions, moods and our beings.  

Yesterday, a few colleagues in the same department fought with each other, not physically but with words.  Colleagues whom have been eating lunch together for months.  Colleagues whom have been working together for years.  And words were thrown, anger, phone slamming, shouting, you name it.

To me, it's the work of bhoots.  Negativity affecting their moods and mind.  But they don't know.  Now ties are severed and communication is breaking down.  Is it worth it?  All because of some ego play?  And the bhoots probably having a wild time playing and watching this unfold.

On the same day, as I reached home, I can sense something is not right in the air.  As I walked into the house, my head was pounding away, a sign that catches are there.  Sure enough, everyone was in a bad mood and felt as though a time bomb is going to explode anytime.

As yogis, I feel we need to be aware of such things and keep our attention on Sahasrara to prevent these bhoots from entering us or disturbing us.  Because non-yogis are not aware.  

Why anger spreads?  Why is people becoming more unhappy?  Depressed?  It's all related.  It may not be the negativity of the Hungry Ghost Festival.  But negativity is everywhere and affecting everyone.

As yogis, we need to keep the situation under control.  I almost lost it when I entered my house and the bad mood started to affect me as well and baby was screaming away and everyone was walking on eggshells.  Then just as quickly my mood was going to burst, I managed to catch hold of my mouth before it open and start purging out words that cannot be taken back.  I took a deep breath and recognised that I didn't manage to do a proper morning meditation that day.  Then I start to become aware that my husband who has been in the house the whole day, has been affected or 'infected' by the negativity.  He looks worn out and was also on the verge of bursting.  

I did a quick pray in my heart and hope I can be the Shakti to keep the peace at home.  And slowly can feel the mood settling.  Baby slept off after a crying fit and the whole household became calmer.  They began to talk with respect and not with sarcasm.  

And quietly when it's only me and my husband alone, I asked him what happened.  I told him what happened at work and I feel the same thing is happening at home.  Then I heard his side of the story and became aware that he is being put in a tight situation and told him we must clear ourselves and shoebeat.  Probably have to start matka pot soon too before things get out of hand.  Looking after a baby can be difficult and burnout.  And now that she has started crawling and holding things to stand up, it gets even tougher.  When our energy level is low, if we are not careful, negativity would find a way to attack us.

Non-yogis won't know what to do but as yogis, we are responsible for our vibrations.  When our vibrations improve, so does the surrounding and the ambiance would also feel better.  It's not easy to keep our attention on Sahasrara all the time or to be alert and aware and witness and not react.  I tried these few things.

1. Bring a lime to work everyday.
2. Be sure to meditate every morning, even if it is only for 5 minutes.  Proper meditation with thoughtless awareness.
3. Listen to bhajans at work.  My company allow us to use the earphones while working.
4. Listen to Shri Mataji's talk at work.  This is a little more challenging because you want to pay 100% attention on Her speech and not just by-the-way listening.  
5. Read Shri Mataji's transcript online.  This is something that I would do if I don't have much work to do.  Reading the transcript takes time and can take about 1 hour to 2.
6. Watch Shri Mataji's speech on YouTube.  I would watch do when I have time during lunch break or during one of my pumping session.

Doing these help to keep my mind in peace and understand and recognise the moods and most important is stop myself from reacting.

Hopefully my vibrations can help to ease the hostility in the office.

Friday, July 01, 2016

The Birthday Month - Birthday Treats

I love July.  Especially 28th July.  Because that's my birthday!!!

Every year, I will be looking out for treats and rewards given out by restaurants or any other enterprises to see what I get.  So far, 2 enterprises have emailed me.

1. Golden Screen Cinema (GSC)
Get 2 FREE movie tickets only from 1st July to 31st July.  Selected movies only and marked with * in the website.  

Previous years I have utilised this nice treat with husband.  But this year, I have to forgo as I can't bring baby along.  Sigh.  

Anyway, I checked their website and found only 1 movie that I want to watch, which is upcoming.  It's "Alice in Wonderland".  However, I doubt that it will be mark * as usually movies that are already out for long or movies that are going to be taken out are marked.

2. Sunway PALS
I only use this card for parking.  It's like Touch n Go.  As for the rewards, it's not that attractive.  The points are too expensive.

But for birthday, they are offering Buy 1 Free 1 ticket at Lost World of Tambun.  Since I went there before, I don't think I would go.  It's not as attractive as Sunway Lagoon, if you ask me.

Too bad they don't offer the same for Sunway Lagoon.  Instead they offered Free Double Tube for their water rides.  Hmm....it's not that expensive if I can remember.  So, this is nothing big, really.

Another offer is 50% discount for Sunway Pyramid Ice.  I have never done ice skating and have no interest in it.  So no go.

Last one is Upgrade to the next category room when I booked at Lost World Hotel, Ipoh.  Again, not that great an offer.

IN previous years, Shogun Japanese Restaurant used to have very good offers.  They allowed birthday boy/girl to eat buffet for free.  The conditions were also not that many.  But I just checked and they only allowed free 3 days before and 3 days after the actual birthday.  On top of that, the birthday boy/girl must be accompanied by 3 paying guests.  Hmm...So I can't dine alone with husband.

Then there are many other offers too, which if you Google you will find.  But am not interested in them.  Either too far, too expensive, too many conditions.

How nice if companies like AirAsia gives out free air tickets on birthday month?  Or the banks give out rebates on birthday month?  Or higher interest on birthday month?  Or hotel give out free rooms on birthday month?  Or Baskin Robbins giving out free ice cream?  Or something like that.

Nah...not gonna happen.  What's gonna happen this year is I will be going to the TCE Baby Fair which is happening from 28 - 31 July at Mid Valley.  

Tuesday, June 07, 2016

Being a new mother

Oh wow.  Since I have kinda neglect this blog, the readers have also left.  I might try to revive this blog when I feel better.

Lately, I feel things are not going my way.  And no matter how much I pray, I still feel nothing is moving.  In fact, it's just one obstacle after another.  Yesterday, I have a spiritual conversation with my other half and at the same time a WhatsApp message of Shri Mataji's extract came.  How apt it was.

The reason why I don't update this blog so often now is because since I delivered my girl, I have been going through challenges after challenges.  Before one ends, another arises and it's continuous.  Personal challenges, work challenges, spiritual, emotional, mental, physical, financial, family, you name it.  All came at once.  All at the same time.

I have decided that this blog is only about my spiritual life and being positive.  If I am in a bad mood or not in balance, I will refrain myself from writing on this blog.  Hence, my disappearance for the past few months.

Being a new mother is never easy.  Having to deal with a newborn is difficult.  Waking up in the middle of the night, just to change diaper is not something new now.  From the beginning of my baby's life, I didn't have an easy time.  I guess I am not alone.  

Not only have I neglected my spiritual blog, I have also neglected my spiritual self.  So much so that everyday, I find myself giving excuses if I didn't have time to meditate or if I cut short my clearing.  And each time, the excuses were baby related.

I want to give the very best for baby.  So day after day, I make sure I do everything right for her.  Breastfeeding, vaccination, doctor's checkup, etc, I made sure I follow through.  Breastfeeding was the biggest challenge, which I am glad to say now things have ease and better.

My entire attention and focus is now mainly on baby.  I would love to write everything about my new life here, but then this blog will be converted into a motherhood blog.  I am still trying to find my feet in motherhood and Sahaja Yoga.

I get extremely nervous when my baby cries.  But now I began to identify her cries.  First she will give warning.  If still no sign of attention given to her, her cries will be louder and finally the loudest.  Which is why, I am afraid to go anywhere with her, even to collective.

I became so out of balance and then I finally realised that I have lost the connection with Shri Mataji.  I haven't been meditating well and not clearing properly either.  At the same time, I kept on wondering if Shri Mataji has forgotten about me.  She hasn't but I think I have neglected my connection with Her.

Perhaps because of that nothing seems to be working out for you, my other half said.  Yes, I think this is why.

I forgot that to be balance, I need to focus on meditation and surrender the rest to the Divine.  Instead, I focus on baby too much until I lost the feeling of joy and find it a burden and hassle.  I don't know how to enjoy life and baby.  As much as I wanted to provide and give the best to her, I hardly spend time with her because I was too much focusing on how to breastfeed and kept on pumping away.

Every time I read Shri Mataji's excerpt on motherhood or about taking care of small babies, it's usually for mothers who doesn't work.  So I find myself hard to relate to my new life and Sahaja Yoga.  I tried to find the connection, but couldn't and ended up blaming myself for failing to be a Sahaja Yogi.

In the end, I became so frustrated, trying to stand on my feet again, trying to be one with the Divine and trying to find peace in my new life.  I began to blame everyone around me.

Now as I write, I begin to see the root to my problems.  My other half has been supportive of everything I do right from the beginning, but I couldn't enjoy it.  I keep thinking I am doing things for baby but I think in the end, it's just my ego.

OK, no more excuses.  Time to get back to balance again.  

Friday, May 27, 2016

Everything happened for a reason

When we believe that everything happened for a reason, then we won't be disappointed.

Since delivery, I feel as if there are way too many obstacles.  I am sure this is a test.  It has to be a test coz otherwise I cannot accept why it is happening like this.

Everyday is a challenge.  Be it at home or at work.  Before the first issue subside, another issue arise.  It's been like that for the past few months.

Having a baby does give us additional responsibility.  My duty to pump milk for her every few hours, everyday has been tiring but yet I felt very satisfying.

It's the other things that are beyond my control that really irks me.  Things like people's behaviour, what others are saying, what others are doing to my baby and so on.  Every single day, without fail, all I can say is "I Surrender" but how much I am able to do it is another question.

I am pretty sure the negativity out there is strong and keep pulling us down.  I remember reading Shri Mataji's speech, can't forget which year and She mentioned that if bad things still happen to us after SR, then something is wrong with us.

I do believe I am still not balance.  And having a baby, everything suddenly became overwhelmed.  Throw us completely out of balance.  It's probably a way to get us back to balance, but I find each day, I am just waiting for her to grow up, for her to sleep better at night, so that we get better rest as well and can get back to our routine.  I can't seem to enjoy the present with her and I feel very bad about it.

Never mind about baby for now.  I want to talk about the challenges and obstacles at work.  I feel truly disheartened and demotivated to continue.  And I want to share my inner thoughts here.

When I was pregnant, there was an incident that still stays in my heart though I have forgiven that person.  I just can't forget because I was hurt.  I was put in-charge of a new project that involves another manager besides the one I report to directly.  This male manager I have always respected though I don't report to him.  I feel he is understanding and compassionate compared to the female manager that I report to.  And because he is a family man as well, I feel he understand the challenges of a new parent.  Compared to my female manager who is single.

One day, he was in a bad mood and I went to him asking if I can proceed a job that wasn't given approval yet by him because he said to hold on first.  I remembered that he told me to hold on.  But because of pregnancy and I was very forgetful, I began to doubt myself.  And he suddenly burst out and said the approval was given to me earlier to proceed.  I said no.  But he insisted.  Who am I to argue with him, moreover I was heavily pregnant.  I just left it because I wasn't sure myself if he truly has given the approval.  There's no email and no written statement.  Only verbal.

Days later, I went to him again and updated him on the project.  Because the manager that I report to told me to update her and update him as well separately.  He reprimanded me for updating my direct manager.  He asked why am I telling things to my direct manager?  I was shocked.  He feels that I am a tale-teller and almost like a spy.  She is my direct manager and I report to her directly.  How can I not report to her?  I was upset and mad at the circumstances.  It's truly uncalled for and I felt injustice.

You see, my direct manager is not someone everyone likes.  Because of her speech and behaviour, a lot of people doesn't like to share things with her.  Unfortunately for me, because I report to her, I fall into that category as well.

For the past 6 years that I worked under her, it took me a year to understand her.  And even then, I tried so hard to understand why she behaves the way she behaves.  I don't understand why another human being just want to give a hard time for her subordinates, just to show that she can and that she has the power.  She doesn't behave like that with her boss.  After some time, I just gave up trying to understand her.  I just do my work and do what was told to me.

Last year, throughout my pregnancy, I didn't have much work to do.  I am not sure if it was on purpose because they wanted to reduce my work load or just that there wasn't any work for me to do.  I have changed my portfolio in 2014 to concentrate on a new project.  But that project has already ended.  And after that, there wasn't much to do.

I spent most of my work time doing nothing, surfing the net.  And then came performance review time and I was told by my immediate manager that I have under-performed in 2015.  As a result of that, my increment was less favourable.

Two months post-partum, I have to go back to work with a heavy heart because I missed baby a lot.  During maternity leave, no one follow up on my work.  Not even my immediate manager.  So when I came back, work was piling up.

I was happy about it.  At least there's work waiting rather than not doing anything and sitting around and waiting for work to come.  And so, I started following up all my work and was waiting for others to reply to me.  Again, the waiting game and did nothing but to sit and wait and follow up by email and phone.

Then my immediate manager felt as though I have nothing to do and reprimanded me.  When I said reprimanded, she used her high tone and angry voice to talk to me.  And as usual, being rude and disrespectful.  She said she doesn't want to see me sitting there, wasting time while everyone else is chasing for dateline.  Sure enough, all my other colleagues stayed back after work and came weekends to finish up their work while I left home sharp as I needed to attend to my baby.  Again, I felt injustice and unfairness creeping.  I defended and said I am doing work and was just following up.

One incident, I let you all to decide.  I was following up with this person via email on an invoice that my manager needed urgently and I did not cc-ed to my manager.  Perhaps that's my bad.  While waiting for the other person to reply, I got reprimanded about not doing work.  And when I came back to my place, the person has replied and I printed out the invoice and pass it to my manager.  She was like, "oh you finally call them is it? "  It's as if I only did my work upon being reprimanded by her.  And I told her, no I have been following up on this.

Because my manager felt like I am not using my time effectively, she started piling my work with ad-hoc jobs.  Things that she is supposed to do but she asked me to do.  Suddenly, I have so much to do and all different things and all came at once.  But I still have no complaints about it and happy to do the work.  I kinda like this kind of ad-hoc projects rather than monthly closing.

Then yesterday, the straw that broke the camel's back happened.  I was in her room to pass her some things and then she reprimanded me again.  This time she said I gave her sub-standard work quality and she expected a higher quality from me.  And that she is doing my job rather than me doing it and that I was just not doing it well.  I kept quiet.

This is what happened.  Just last week, she told me that she needed me to create a new company in the system and have it up and running by end of May 2016.  I was given 1 week to do it.  So, before she went on 2 days leave, I quickly did a setup and emailed it to her for review.  She didn't reply.

When she came back to work, I reminded her.  I cannot setup the new company in the system until the basic setup is approved by her.  Delayed..delayed from her side and her excuse was that I gave a lousy job to her, that's why so much to review.

Today it's already 27 May and still no approval given.  And I have 2 more days on 30 and 31 May to do this setup.  Not that I can't do it.  But it will be rush.

When I complained to my colleague, who reports directly to the male boss, she said this to me, "I wish I never have to change boss."  What does this tell you?

So, tell me.  What went wrong?  Is the problem lies with me?  Is it because I am not balance enough, so all these negativity still happened to me?

We used to sit together in the same room and she can see what I am doing.  Ever since she got her own room and sit separately from me, she feels I am not doing my work at all.  She is micro-managing every single thing I am doing as if to check and see if I am lagging anywhere.

I just feel so tired and exhausted, having to look after a 4 month old, having to pump many times a day and having to deal with this nonsense.

And best part was I started yesterday with a positive mood.  And ended my day feeling very unhappy and down.

And I gave my best.  When I was 8 months pregnant, because she was delaying some things, I have to drive around looking for a vendor to do a rubber stamp, just because they wanted it urgently.  And what does she care?  Nothing.

I can tolerate discrimination but when another woman discriminate a woman, it's something I cannot understand.

Should I make myself available in the job market again?  Is it too risky to change job now that the economy is not good and so many companies are retrenching?  Moreover, baby is still so small and financially very tight.

But all these are messing with me.  I just feel so disappointed that despite working here for 6 years, there is still no understanding between the boss and me.  Not only that, common courtesy of respect also lacking.  Maybe I should just leave.  Maybe it's my ego after all.  Maybe I am not balance and reacting too much and not being a witness.

But I tried my best and gave my best.  If she is still too blind to see, then I have nothing to say.  It doesn't mean that if I don't stay back to work or come at weekends, that I am not doing my best.

I hope things will be better soon.  I truly hope so.

Tuesday, April 05, 2016

Missing in action

I have been missing for 3 months now.  Busy with a newborn.  Life with a newborn is not the same anymore.  Seriously.

As a new mother, no words can describe the challenges in life.  Day by day, all I can do is just look at this huge poster that is hung on the wall near by bed.  It is written in huge words, "SURRENDER".  Because in the end, I really can't do much.  

While I love my new role, there are sure many difficult times.  Now I am facing some major breastfeeding challenges.  If anyone knows how to increase milk supply naturally, please feel free to comment.  I have tried fenugreek, cumin seeds, adjwain seeds, oats, semolina and pumping more.  Nothing seems to work.  Feeling rather dejected having to mix with some formula.

Anyway, am back to work already.  Missing the little one lots more.  Not sure how often I can spend on this blog as I spend more time on the other blog about motherhood.  When I find a balance, I will be back to share the experiences.  Till then.


Thursday, January 07, 2016

First post in 2016

I just realised that I haven't posted anything in 2016 yet.  So here's the first post.  Happy New Year everyone!  May this year 2016 brings forth lots of joy, love, happiness and spiritual growth.

As for me, I am waiting for delivery.  Lots of anxiety and all that since it's my very first time.  But I do believe she will come when she is ready and when God decide it's time.

Besides that, can't think of anything else.  Wanted to comment about the recent posts in FB about protocols, like questioning why water is there, why cutlery is there, why this, why that, etc.  I was a little annoyed by it and wanted so much to comment, but why add on to the confusion?  It's not like they will accept what I said freely.

I just want to say is although all these protocols were not written anywhere (or maybe there is but I don't know where).  If you have the utmost respect for Shri Mataji, then you do it from your heart.  Check vibrations if it is the right thing to do.  

I have gone to collectives where they don't know the protocols and didn't follow but yet the vibrations were so amazing.  God is all forgiving and compassionate.  

I have also seen collectives who knew the protocols but forgotten to follow or missed out a step and then disaster strikes, like sudden fire or no electricity, etc.  Even if God is forgiving, the other deities may not be so.

Throughout the 25 years in Sahaja Yoga, we learned protocols through word of mouth, through actions, through experience.

I remembered there were times where stainless steel was used instead of silverware because the yogis could not differentiate between them.  Or times when the decorations outdo the cleanliness of the photo and altar.  Or prasad was forgotten to be offered, etc.  Or attention was on other things instead  of on puja and Shri Mataji.  We survived.  We asked for forgiveness.  We learned from mistakes.  Whether right or wrong, I don't know.

I have also attended pujas where it has the most simple decorations and minimal prasad and yet the vibrations were tremendous.  And also pujas that were so grand and pompous but with minimal vibrations.

The last time Shri Mataji was in Malaysia was in the late 90s.  We didn't have international pujas or gatherings when She was here.  So, throughout the years, we only perform puja in Her Nirakar form.  We have never booked a hotel room to make it look like Shri Mataji's room.  We didn't prepare tea as if She was physically around.

But nowadays, especially since Her physical departure, yogis are doing things that I don't feel comfortable watching.  Example like, why do they have to bring another photo to replace the altar photo at the start of a puja?  Why is there a procession with Her charan and Her photo on a sedan chair before a puja?  It hurts especially when during the exchange of photos, the one that was already on the altar was brutally handled to place the new photo.  Is this really necessary?  Shri Mataji is already there.  No need to change photos to prove She is there.  Why can't people make sense of this?

I remembered my last puja with Her physical form, in Cabella 2010.  I was given the opportunity to offer a yuva shakti gift from Malaysia.  The moment She left, I cried buckets while kneeling near Her toilet.  All the surrounding yogis thought I was possessed or disturbed or what.  But in fact, I was so upset.  Not because She was leaving, but because the yogis have no respect for Her.

There were many, many yogis who were pushing each other just to have a glance of Shri Mataji.  There were a lot of yogis who took up their phones and start snapping with flashes on Shri Mataji.  The crowd have no respect for any yogis.  Some Indian so-called 'dignitaries' insisted on being near to Her and refused to move and let others have a chance, despite the amount of people crowding.

They stepped on you, they pushed you, they don't care if you are a girl.  All they want was to be on stage to be near to Shri Mataji.  It hurts me like crazy watching them treating Shri Mataji with so much of disrespect.  Even when She was leaving in Her wheelchair to the car.  The yogis who were guiding Her have to shout at other yogis to stop shoving, to stop pushing, to stand back, to stop taking photographs.  Now tell me, where are the protocols?

It hurts me even now, thinking back all that had happened.  And who would have known, 6 months later, She would have left Her physical form forever?  That was the last image of Shri Mataji's physical form for me.  And it wasn't pleasant.

If we love Her, then do things from our heart.  But our hearts have to be clean.  If you have a bad heart, you would think everything you do is right.  If you think pushing and shoving and all that is love, then I don't know what to say.  Always check vibrations.

The first post of 2016 should be a happy post.  Not a crying post.  Not a sad post.  So, please do things from the heart.  If you want to try something new, check vibrations.  I believe the kundalini, the divine energy, the vibrations, the surrounding deities will guide us as to what is right and wrong.  Like maryadas.  

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