Friday, November 21, 2014

The sequence is the same, but the consequences are different.

Another self-thought-introspection-post.

Have you ever wondered, how come things happened the way it is?  Have you ever have a day where you feel it's truly not your day?  A day where everything goes wrong?

What if the day didn't go wrong but was right all the way?

Because we really do not know what's install for us for the day.  Sometimes it's a bad thing that happened, say an accident.  But that could be a bhoot or badha or something is wrong with us that day.  Sometimes it's like you lost your way and then found you are actually not lost, but just circling to vibrate the place, maybe?  Or for you to learn a new road?

Here's my experience.  I was feeling rather upset that things were going downhill.  Nothing seems to be improving and it's just one bad luck after another.

So, we took a break and stayed at a yogi's place for over a week.  During the break, we broke (pun intended) some things.  After the break, things still didn't get better.  Yes, we prayed, we meditated, we cleared and we did all that.  But things did not happened the way we wanted it to happen.

But when the yogi came back, he was appreciating us staying there, to help clean Shri Mataji's photo and kept fresh flowers for the altar.  He was feeling rather bad that he was away for over a week and no one to clean Shri Mataji's photo and coincidentally that incident happened to us and we decided to take a break and get out of there.

I feel like everyday as we wake up, the day has already been planned for us.  Yes, I do complained a lot about what's given to me.  But now I came to realised, it's probably is for my ascent, however the journey may be,

Along the way, we may not see the lessons.  But further along the way, we may see it.  

So, as we go along, let's appreciate all the tiny things around us.  Stop for a second to admire them.  Stop complaining about everything in life, about people, about circumstances.  Make full use of our time being in the present and enjoy what life has thrown to us.  

A story was told to me many years ago.  Before a yogini was in Sahaj, when she was a child, her parents brought her to see a fortune teller who told her to stay away from water as she will have fatal water accident.  Sure enough, when she was 6, she almost drowned but was saved by her father.

Then she grew up and came into Sahaj.  One day, her car was flooded but she managed to get out in time before the car was filled with water.  She felt so blessed that she was saved the second time.  She told us this story during sharing of experiences.  

Maybe in our past life, our karmas are still not cleared.  Maybe we have to repay it this lifetime.  We don't really know what's God has got for us.  We don't know the full story.

But we know this, as told by Babamama, "After Sahaja Yoga, the sequence is the same, but the consequences is different."  Learn to embrace every heartbreak, every fear, every incident with an open heart.

Friday, November 07, 2014

To react or not to react

The answer is of course not to.  But it's the same with Shakespeare, "To be or not to be" from Hamlet.  Prince Hamlet contemplates whether to die or not to die, having complained about life but realised the alternative option could be worse.  The obvious answer is of course to live.

That's the choice we are given.  Our free will.  To decide what to do.  

As Sahajis, we can also make mistakes.  We are not accident-free either.  Some would say it's a bhoot or negativity.  Maybe it's certain chakra's qualities still lacking, i.e lack of discretion, lack of wisdom, lack of discrimination.

It can be as simple as a click of the mouse.  Sometimes after clicking the mouse, then you realised it's a mistake.  Some mistakes can be reverted.  Some cannot.

Sometimes it's not a physical action.  It could be an emotional one, like whether you want to react or not.

I have a weakness that I react too quickly only to realised it too late.  In Shri Krishna Puja 1998, Shri Mataji said, "Now the witness state is such a state where you just do not react. If you react, then the problem starts. It’s a very simple thing to understand that we react through our ego or through our conditioning. Otherwise there is no way to react."

When it comes to facing a crisis, be in thoughtless awareness is the best.  In Diwali Puja 1991, Shri Mataji said, "So even in crisis, this thoughtless awareness is all the time extremely alert. It becomes much more alert than normal. That’s the sign of a Sahaja Yogi and sign of Sahaja Yogini."

And to ensure you don't make careless mistake, always keep attention on Sahasrara.

But then again, sometimes things happened for a reason, which is unbeknownst to our human mind.  

"Everything happens, just the Paramchaitanya knows, It understands, It organises, It loves, It does everything. That’s the energy It is. It does everything. And how It manages! How [things that] we call coincidences, are really organised by Paramchaitanya." - Shri Mataji, Navaratri Puja 1998

And sometimes mistakes do happened.  Maybe for us to learn something.  But don't do or say anything against Shri Mataji or God or the deities.  Shri Mataji is compassionate but 

"If you do any mistakes or anything then you feel, then you get your left vishuddi. You’ve done your mistake, all right, finished. You love Me, maybe there’s something wrong in the love, or maybe something has happened; doesn’t matter. Now, I’m going to be cautious. I’m not going to make any mistakes. How could I do this mistake? Because I was not fully in love. If I had loved something I would have not done such a mistake. All right, so develop your love. No. You will do, “I feel guilty, because I’ve done such a thing,” so you miss this and that both. So your mistake becomes a barrier again. Don’t feel guilty about it. We have to progress further. Forget the past. Forget the past. Forget the past. We have to go further." - Shri Mataji, Farewell Talk 1984.

For the past few days, I had massive headache whenever I opened Facebook.  It's some posts in a supposedly Sahaj group.  I didn't realise I was reacting although I didn't write anything.  Inside I was paying too much attention on this and siding the person whom I agreed with.  And all these quarrels over a false guru.

It was such a difficult catch to clear.  Did shoebeating, footsoaking, looking through the candle and recited Ganesha Atharva Sheersha, but to no avail.  Finally, hubby said, why don't you do the 11 names of Shri Ekadesha Rudra and I put a candle in front and recite all 11 names while looking at Shri Mataji's hands, then it went off.  

Whoever who wrote, it's your will to write.  And whoever who reads, it's your will to read.  It's our choice.  To argue or not to argue, that is the question.  

What is there to discuss when all the answers are already given by Shri Mataji.  What is there to object to something when the truth is in your hands.  

Whether a person is a Sahaja Yogi or not, it's not up to us to decide.  Shri Mataji knows.  Paramchaitanya knows.

So please drop all the egos and superegos.  Arguing with one another is not going to make the false guru go away.  Start clearing our agnya.

1980-0517: , Informal talk, Old Arlesford, UK

".....This is one type of bhoots you will find. Then you find these are guru bhoots and which takes time, which are very difficult and they can take you up, it can be very dangerous.

But say somebody becomes blind with a bhoot. His eyes are open and he's blind. That's sure shot he is blind because of a bhoot. Two types of blindness are possible. Their Left Swadishthana will be catching and you will think it is due to bhoot. But it can be also Left Swadishthana catching and becoming blind could be with diabetes. Could be the combination of both. So you ask him if he has diabetes or not. If the person has no diabetes, then definitely it is the bhoot.

Now what do you do to take out that kind of a bhoot?

Yogi: Use a candle.

Shri Mataji: Not only candle, won't work. You take My Hand. Photograph, only Hand. You have photographs of My Hand, and put a candle before that photograph. All these photographs that you have separately have meanings. Put the candle and behind that is the Hand and ask the person to see the light, if he can see the light. Gradually, you'll be amazed he will start seeing. This is to be used.

You see, in Sahaj Yoga, one has also precise just like the English ... If you are precise, it comes out. If you are not precise then you try this, you try that, it won't work out. But if you have a photograph of My Hands you should ask the person to see the photograph of the Hand. By seeing the light, gradually the person will start seeing the Hand. And then gradually the person will become all right.

I've seen one person getting the eyes within ten minutes time. But in that, if the Left Swadishthana is catching, if the person has no diabetes and eyes are open, then it is definitely a bhoot, nothing else. Even if some people might say, "She lost her eyes because of, this girl lost her eyes because there was a fire in the house." But she got frightened and the bhoots sat in here and she became blind. They connected both things. Actually eyes cannot remain open if the eyes are burned out. So if the eyes are open and absolutely normal to look at and the person cannot see, the light is out, that means there's a bhoot. So these things can be very easily done.

[someone asks a question] Photograph like this, and light in front. It will improve your eyesight also. My Hands should be used. Very good for the eyes. My Hands are extremely good for your eyes. If you can see My Hands with the light, very good for your eyes.

So I guess, it's your choice.  To be a Sahaji or not to be.

"It is human nature to react, it is absolutely human. But if you are to become superhuman, you should not react. By not reacting, you will grow, definitely you will grow. But if you react, then you cannot grow." – Navaratri 1998

"Whatever is wrong is wrong, whether it is today, tomorrow or yesterday or thousands of years back, whatever is wrong for your dharma, for your sustenance, is wrong! The new phrase, is that “What’s wrong in this, what’s wrong in that?” That question will be answered by Kalki only!

I’m just telling you that it is wrong, and it is extremely wrong, it is against your ascent, it is against your being, and then you will not have any time to repent and to ask this question, “What’s wrong?”, you will be chopped off.

That is what, is the Kalki incarnation. He is going to come on a white horse, as they say. It’s a tremendous thing that is going to work out! Every human being is going to be sorted out, and nobody can then claim!" – Navaratri 1979

Tuesday, November 04, 2014

Enlightened attention

Please stop arguing about whether we should or should not do something to false gurus.  By arguing it doesn't solve anything but just make the false guru stronger.

Those who can do something, then can try paper burning and shoebeating.  It works wonders in my recent crisis.  

Those who do not want to do anything, can just leave it and surrender to Shri Mataji.

Ultimately, She is the slayer of rakshasa, the destroyer of demons and the remover of negativities.

Our enlightened attention is needed in areas where crisis are happening.  The world needs us.  By proving you are right is not helping anything now.  

Please stand together and unite to make this world a better place.  By complaining, quarreling, disagreeing will definitely not unite us collectively, let alone to fight the bad guys.

I was getting a massive headache just reading about all the disagreements, rude statements, proving who is right or not.

It's time to get our act together.  Bandhan, shoebeat, paperburn.  Do whatever Shri Mataji has taught us.  The power is within us.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

To err is human, to forgive Divine

Something happened and my faith in Shri Mataji elevated again.  We are so blessed to be in Divine's attention because we are Sahaja Yogis.  Shri Mataji has always protected us right from the beginning.

I never truly understood the word 'Maya' until now.  Even then, I may not understand the whole picture completely.  God is great!  His actions may not be understood or decoded by anyone.  But in the end, it's all God's will and it's for our ascent.

Without going too much detail into it, here's what it is.

Since 1st Jan this year, there has been some misunderstanding between my hubby and another party.   Verbal abuses and harsh words were thrown at him.  There was a huge quarrel and argument.  Although it ended peacefully, somehow I felt there were undercurrents.  Since that day, I prayed to Shri Mataji, please don't let me go through this again and just let us live in peace.

Sure enough, when there were subsequent disagreements and arguments, we were always not there to witness.

Somehow or the other, it happened again after Diwali.  This time, I was not around when it happened but hubby was caught right in it.  A big one.  An accident happened.  Things got out of hand and took a worse turn.  When I first heard it, I was worried because I was not with him.  Immediately bandhans were given and all the sisters told me don't worry, it's cool.  But my heart was not settled.  The panic button was on.  Many scenarios in my mind.  I was already expecting the worse.

Back with him, after hearing the full story, found that it has gotten out of hand.  That same night, I immediately cleared him.  It was cool.  But his head and mine could not understand the interpretations of the vibrations.  How can it be cool when things are so terrible?  He asked what is Shri Mataji's message to him?  I can't answer but I convinced him that it's being taken care off.  Deep in my heart, I wasn't so sure.

That whole night, the worries went on.  We could not sleep and was just anticipating morning to come.  Bandhans and bandhans and pray and pray.  I tried sleeping in the meditation room, hoping Shri Mataji would come into my dream to give me some answers.  Just could not rest my mind.

Morning came and found that the problem has been resolved 50%, miraculously.  Thank God and Shri Mataji and all the angels above that the situation was not as bad as I thought.  But I was informed that earlier when it happened, it was very bad.  

The anger and hatred was still not suppressed.  We kept quiet throughout the incident as we do not want to aggravate it further.  We surrendered to Shri Mataji.  Of course, that didn't went well with the other party.  

Sahaja Yogis around us who found out about this gave their bandhans and love.  It was still cool.  Deep inside, I felt calmer though hubby was fearful.  

Finally, the confrontations came.  I told hubby, I will side you, but I can't speak for you.  You have to speak out on your own.  Face your fears and just speak from your heart.  Speak honestly.  Speak truthfully.  The whole time, there was only one message that kept ringing in my ears, "Be in thoughtless awareness" and was able to witness the whole play, unfolding itself.  What a joke it was, I thought to myself.

And it went very well.  In fact, so well that I felt this is it.  The end.  For the first time in my life, I  also spoke the truth.  Not words that the other party wanted to hear, but words that my heart wanted to say for a long time.

Subsequently, we felt it all meant to happen.  Not sure if my understanding is correct, but it's for hubby to get out of his fear and speak his mind.  I was so calm throughout it and I was amazed.  Not a single tear.  If he can overcome his fear, there are so many things in life he could do and he could do so much more for Sahaja Yoga.

We watched too many dramas in life.  I mean TV dramas.  And if one guy killed the other, the friend or family would want revenge.  And unless and until vengeance is seek, they will not rest in peace.  Sometimes, the dying person would ask for revenge on his death.  

Revenge can only spark hatred.  Hatred does nothing to our lives except to make it miserable and sad.  
Without Shri Mataji in our lives, we would be continuously seeking revenge and vengeance.  Tit for tat.  When will it end?  Same thing with the world now.  Fight, wars.  For what?

Life is already so difficult, because man made it so.  But with Sahaja Yoga, life is beautiful.  Hatred can melt.  Sadness can dissolve.  Relationship can be mended. 

This is what Shri Mataji has taught us this time.

Innocence - We saw a child's innocence.  He loves and forgives and comforted and supported during this crisis.  He reassured the person who have unintentionally hurt him that he was ok.

"A little child can show you how we are stupid and foolish and how we behave. So many times you must have seen children come out of, with such utterances that the elders are put to shame. So the child-like temperament can be developed if we awaken Shri Ganesha’s principle within ourselves which is a very, very powerful, very, very powerful deity, very powerful deity. " - Excerpt from Shri Mataji Talk to Yogis 1985

"Now, if you say: “We can develop innocence, Mother”, you cannot. Which is the way to become innocent? In Sahaja Yoga, we have a proper method how we can become innocent. It happens through our thoughtless awareness. If you are in the state of thoughtless awareness, then what happens, you do not react. You do not get involved into wrong things. You do not get involved into any discussions, arguments. But you just watch. And the innocence within you rises beautifully, like a lotus rises out of a dirty pond.
So, whatever may be the circumstances, when you are in thoughtless awareness, you do not react. That is the sign of innocence. And people who do not react keep young. They will never show their age, they keep young. Because to react is not a very good thing, which makes you get involved into another person. But if you don’t react, if you are just watching, you are a witness. Then you don’t get involved into anything. You are away from it. And that’s how your innocence grows and you get very confident." - Excerpt from Shri Mataji Shri Ganesha Puja 2000

Forgiveness - We saw that by forgiving, we felt better in our hearts.

"Now the second condition is that you have to forgive everyone. Some will say it’s very difficult to forgive. But whether you forgive or don’t forgive, you don’t do anything. It’s a myth. But if you don’t forgive then you really play into the hands of the people who want to torture you. So best is to forgive them, forget about them. Forgive and forget. But don’t start counting how many people I have to forgive, what mistakes they have done – nothing of the kind. Just in general say “I forgive everyone” – just, and it’s done. Because Divine is the ocean of forgiveness, it’s a very powerful ocean of forgiveness, and you cannot do anything that it cannot forgive. And once you say “I forgive,” Divine takes over; we don’t have to bother. " - Excerpt from Shri Mataji Public Program, Sydney 1990.

"If you forgive others you are generous to yourself. First of all be generous to yourself, that is you forgive everybody else. If you forgive everybody else, then you are not tortured by that, you spare yourself from their tortures. This is a generosity towards yourself. Towards yourself the greatest generosity is that you do not bear any malice or bitterness about anyone. But clear-cut ideas that: ‘He’s like this and he’s like this.’ Just a clear-cut idea, but no reaction out of it. Somebody is a man, say, he’s bhootish, all right he’s a bhootish fellow, we know he’s a bhootish, keep yourself in bandhan, but don’t have a reaction out of it, then you have really forgiven everyone. Forgiveness gives you a big kavacha; is a big bandhan, is a big protection – we can say a ‘shield’ – from all kinds of evil that other’s can put on you.
Just forgive them, and then you see what happens to them. You just try this trick: just forgive, and see what happens to others who try to torture you. Of course, Divine never wants to torture anyone – that is definite. It never wants to torture; It is extremely generous, It likes to forgive. It enjoys Its forgiveness, It really enjoys. Generosity is to be enjoyed in the same way forgiveness is to be enjoyed; it’s very enjoyable. When you forgive others it’s the most enjoyable thing is that you see the play; you become the witness." - Except from Shri Mataji, Diwali Puja 1982

Love - This was the biggest lesson learnt.  For hubby, love doesn't come easy due to his past history.  But when he learn to love from all the love given, his heart softens and his love expands.

"The main form of the Spirit is that it is a storehouse of love. It is love. But this love is not the love that we know of. This love does not have any greed or lust, any pressure or any expectation. This love flows eternally and the benevolence in this love is worked out. While giving this benevolence, the Spirit does not have any jealousy and does not pressurize anyone. The working is spontaneous. Once this love starts flowing in a Sahaj (spontaneous) way then you will be surprised to see that everything works out by itself and you don’t need to do anything." - Excerpt from Shri Mataji Mahashivaratri Puja 1996

Patience - This is hubby's biggest strength which I lack a lot.  Because of his patience, I became patient too before jumping into conclusion.

"You must have patience. If you don’t have patience, you want immediately something to be done. How will you see the whole thing working out? Many people are extremely jittery and very fast-running. This world is running so fast and you are the ones who have stood out and watching this rat race. You are not one of them. So must have titiksha, means you must have patience. So you must have faith in yourself fully and also patience, how Sahaja Yoga is working out or how this Paramchaitanya is working out." - Excerpt from Shri Mataji Diwali Puja 1996

Courage - This message was given to me years ago, by Shri Mataji.  It's to face your fears and speak the truth.  

"Courage is silently very powerful.  You don’t have to bomb anybody, you don’t have to kill anybody, but you have to stand up with courage.  And that is another quality which you will express. It is very polite, very sweet, you will be standing with that courage.  I know so many of you are like that.  There’s no struggle, there’s no fight, just standing with courage and doing whatever is right.  And that is quite possible because you have now the connection with the Almighty.  You have the connection with the Paramchaitanya, and that will work out everything." - Excerpt from Shri Mataji Birthday Puja 2001

"So for us, what is there to see is that if you are divine and if you have powers of divinity, then you should have courage, and with that courage you can face all kinds of ordeals. On the whole, whenever you are on this earth there are problems of different types. You may belong to royal families, or maybe a poor person, there are always problems facing you. But Christ has shown by his life that, though he had to suffer so much, he was so patient and courageous. His life has given us an example, what we should be, how we should behave when we are facing problems because of ignorance of people." - Excerpt from Shri Mataji Christmas Puja 2003

Truth - Speaking it honestly is the best feeling ever.  Nothing to hide.

"Now the heart chakra here (in sahastrara), the peetha of the heart chakra , gets filled with the light of Truth. But the Truth is not such an absurd thing that we know of as Truth is. Somebody asked Me “What is the truth?” So I said that “It was written, long time back, that you should speak the truth and speak something that people will like.” – “Satyam vadet, priyam vadet.” Then people said “How can you meet these two things? Truth may not be palatable and could be something that you say which people like maybe false. So how to make these two things meet?” So Krishna gave a very good answer. He said, it’s like this – “Satyam vadet, hitam vadet, priyam vadet.” You say the truthtruth you must say, but that truth should be good or should be liked or should be appreciated or should be nourishing for your spirit, by which there is benevolence (hita) which creates benevolence and then a thing has to be priya. In the beginning people may not like and say that he said horrible things to me or whatever it is, but at the end of it, he will say that “See, it’s so good that this was said to me that I have done something,” perfect.

But in any case there is no need to say something very harsh or hard to anyone. That is not your job to go on correcting all the rest of the people. To begin with many sahaja yogis I have seen have been saying, “You’ve got this chakra caught up, you’ve got that chakra caught up!” All this is the play of ego." - Excerpt from Shri Mataji Sahasrara Puja 1997

Surrender - Divine has all the plans underway.  Things may not begin or end the way we wanted it to be.  But it will be the way Divine wanted it to be.  For our ascent.  Surrender everything, especially the ego.  Shoebeat and surrender.  Paperburn and surrender.  Bandhan and surrender.

"Such a mixture, a confusion. That is what is Kali Yuga is. Is modern times. Only way to get rid of them is to surrender. That is the only way. There is no other way around. Because when you surrender, the spirits, the negativities, the satanic forces just disappear. Because they are defective. They have no business to be there. They have no interest in a person who is surrendered to God. They cannot surrender. If they surrender they’ll also become saints. All the time to think, “What are my catches? What are my negativities?” Is not going to help you. Just surrender all these ideas that are coming to you and you’ll find that all absurd ideas will run away. This is the easiest way to get rid of your problems. Is just to surrender. After all, all these horrible people, all the horrible deities, enemies, who came forward to fight the Goddess, are there as long as you nurture them. As soon as you surrender yourself, they will find you of no use for themselves and they go to other half-baked people. The growth will only come, when the surrender is complete. One has to know that the powers are tremendous. You cannot conceive it as it is said by Markandeya. You cannot conceive it; it is beyond your conception. Outwardly you cannot understand, you just cannot understand. Under such circumstances the best thing is to surrender yourself. Now surrendering, what do you surrender? What do you surrender is your ego and your super-ego and it is completely cleansed and drenched in the blessing. Because you cannot give anything. You have to receive the blessings. And to receive the blessings you have to just surrender. It is so simple. The easiest way. To solve all your problems is to surrender.

Just say, “I surrender”. For realized souls it should be their mantra. And you will be amazed how all your problems will vanish. Because not only that the powers are tremendous, but as you are realized souls all the Divine Forces, all the Divine Deities, all the Eternal Beings; Chiranjivas, all the angels and the ganas, all of them are looking after you. But they know one thing, those who are surrendered and those who are not surrendered. You just surrender the problem, and you will be surprised that the answer will come in such a miraculous way. Just surrender. Do not take any responsibility upon yourself. Just surrender. Because how far you can go into the solution? Up to your rationality. Beyond that you have your Spirit, and the Spirit is connected to the Divine. So best is to surrender and the whole thing will show such light and such beauty and such meaning. In the modern times now the work is not the same way as it was when it is described. In the Raudrarupa or that the Chandrarupa you see there, was there at the back. It’s a mind work, it’s a Mother, it’s a simple thing. Loving, compassionate, for your protection. This rupa is there, but you do not see it. You are completely protected. Be sure of it." - Excerpt from Shri Mataji Navaratri Puja 1980

Last but not least, Thank You Shri Mataji again and again for Your guidance.  We found this time, it was a test for the heart.

"That’s why you should always keep in mind that there is no need to get angry with others in vain. You have absolutely no right to be angry with others. If Shiva is not doing so why should you? But people get angry extremely often and very heavily. Animals never get angry to such an extent. They won’t get annoyed without any reason. Thus while getting angry at small things we should always remember that the power of Shri Shiva exists within us as well. Forgetting that Shiva exists within us is exactly what makes us get angry with people and unable to forgive their faults and mistakes."  - Excerpt from Shri Mataji Shivaratri Puja 2003

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

First time with Shri Mataji

I love reminiscing these beautiful memories with Shri Mataji.  Though not many, it was enough to last me a life time.  Some past are worthy of remembering while some past need to be ditch immediately.  

I remembered the first time I got the chance to be near to Shri Mataji.  It was in 2001, Christmas Puja in Ganapatipule. 

After the puja, the norm was to offer a present to Shri Mataji.  Each country representatives would get a chance to go on stage to offer.  

I was hoping very hard that I would be selected to represent Malaysia.  But, I was very new and young.  Anyhow, 2 other Malaysian yogis were selected in the last minute.  I remembered telling the yogini to please tie her hair up as it was very messy and not appropriate to be in front of Shri Mataji.  Deep in my heart, I was envying her lucky chance and I said in my heart, "If only I get the chance to go on stage, that experience would be enough to last me a life time."

Finally, they went and queued.  After some time, after many countries went and came back, suddenly I saw one of my Indian rakhi brother, came to me and told me to quickly get ready to offer the International Yuva Shakti gift.  I was surprised.  What International Yuva Shakti gift?  I didn't prepare any gift.  He said they have already prepared.  Just need to go on stage to present.

I quickly left the terrace seats and met him at the foot of the stage.  He explained briefly and told me to hurry up.  I went to the side of the stage and was given a pillow to offer.  I walked up and did my pranam.  What I saw on stage was a true maya that day.  Shri Mataji was in Shri Mahamaya form.  Truly.  It is difficult to explain here.  But that day, She was not the same person we saw earlier when She gave Her speech.  It was a completely different form.

I remembered offering the gift to Her very quickly.  She didn't look at me.  After leaving the stage, I was wondering to myself, who is that?  And I kept asking this question for some time until I realised, I was on stage with Shri Mahamaya.

Anyhow, my desire to be near Her was fulfilled immediately.  Just a thought and voila!  That was enough to last me a lifetime.  And years later, I was blessed to be near Her again and again.

Monday, October 27, 2014

Happy Diwali

This is a belated message.  It has totally slipped my mind.

Recently, I watched Diwali Puja 1991 in Cabella.  The speech was light-hearted and full of joy.  So much so that I shared this joy with the collective and suggested this video to be played for our Diwali puja.

Sharing with you all here.  Enjoy!

May this Diwali light brightens our heart and filled them with joy.  May darkness be eradicated.  May hatred disappeared.  May love spreads.

A sari incident with Shri Mataji

I don't have a lot of memories in the presence of Shri Mataji.  I didn't have much chance to present many things for Her.  I have always heard lots of beautiful experience that happened in Her presence.  Some miracles, some amazing experiences.  So I have only this one experience that happened in 2006 Los Angeles before Shri Ganesha Puja which is forever etched in my mind.

I was picked to offer the Lakshmi basket to Shri Mataji before puja.  In actual fact, I wasn't supposed to be the one.  But the person who was selected earlier had to do aarti for Shri Mataji and so I got the chance to take her place.

I remembered very clearly, all the ladies offering Lakshmi basket to wait on the top floor of the Sheraton or Renaissance Hotel.  While waiting, I helped a lady from Hong Kong to adjust her sari.  Many of the ladies were still fussing over the Lakhsmi basket to perfect the decoration and arrangement.  

Me and another sister did the Lakshmi basket earlier that day.  Both of us were not really good designers or decorators but did our best to arrange the basket.  First we lined the basket with batik cloth.  Then we arranged the lakshmi's offerings into the basket.

When I saw the other baskets that the other countries offered, ours pale in comparison.  Really.  I was a little disappointed looking at our simple basket.  But what to do, we did our best and there's nothing I can do now while carrying the basket and waiting for Shri Mataji's arrival.  

Then we were told to get ready for Her arrival.  One lady came and told me to put my sari over my head.  I had some trouble with that as I had made the pallu too short.  So on one hand I have to carry the basket, which was a little heavy and the other hand have to hold the pallu over my head.

Then Shri Mataji was wheeled in and all the ladies did a namaskar to Her.  The hotel corridor was very narrow and we only able to stand on one side.  We were just within inches from our beautiful Mother.

When they have settled Shri Mataji comfortably, one by one the ladies from the hosting countries were invited to go in front of Shri Mataji to offer the basket.  While waiting in line, I was fussing about my sari.  Because the pallu was not long and I tried my best to put it over my head and at the same time I was worried that my sari will come out as I felt I didn't tie it properly.  Also, I was worried that I might trip and fall in front of Shri Mataji.  

Right before my turn while the lady in front of me did pranam and offered the basket, I was just within inches from Shri Mataji.  Shri Mataji looked at me, from top to toe.  I didn't dare to look into Her eyes.  Then it was my turn.

I put the basket down and did a pranam while holding the pallu over my head.  Then the most embarrassing thing happened.  I heard a loud 'crack' as if my sari was torn.  It was so loud in that pin drop silent moment that I thought the sound was deafening.  I quickly offered the basket and did my second pranam and left the room.

While waiting for the lift to go down to the ballroom, I felt totally embarrassed to my skin.  I could feel my flush face and heart beating fast.  After sometime, I wanted to laugh out loud as I felt the whole moment was so funny.  But at the same time, I was worried that my beautiful silk sari was torn and might fall off during puja.

While walking into the ballroom, the sea of Sahaja Yogis were already sitting in silence and meditating.  I found the other Malaysian Sahaja Yogis and sat with them while in my heart I felt the funniest joke just happened.  I told some of the yogis about it.  I felt light hearted and funny and ready to laugh anytime at that incident.

During the puja, I have completely forgotten about the torn sari incident and enjoyed the puja immensely.  

When everything was over and we returned to our hotel room, the first thing I did was to take out the sari and examined it.  To my surprise, there was not a single tear.  Even at those places where the safety pin was placed.  

Then I realised that Shri Mataji played a trick on me.  It was probably a trick to make me laugh and not be so serious.  And not to put attention on all these minor little things.  And to laugh at my own ego.  When She looked at me from top to bottom, She saw all my chakras.  I tried my best to please Her by fussing over little little things instead of being in thoughtless.  But Shri Mataji is ever so compassionate and forgiving that She gave me a deep message.

Don't fuss over the little things in life but be in thoughtless awareness instead.

Monday, October 20, 2014

Almond Milk and food alcohol story

I read online that almond milk is really healthy and a better alternative to cow's milk.  So after delaying for many weeks, I decided to finally do it.  It's really simple.

1 cup almonds
2 cups water

1. Soak the almonds overnight.
2. Drain the water, rinse and put them into the blender.
3. Put water and blend until they are in pulps. 
4. Strain the milk with a nut bag, strainer, used tea bag, etc.  I used the Malaysian nylon coffee strainer that the mamak store used for teh tarik.
5. Squeeze the pulp with your hands to get all the almond milk out.
6. Refrigerate and enjoy.

Some recipes put in vanilla extract and honey.  But without sugar, the milk already tasted sweet.  

In fact, I wanted to put in the vanilla extract when I saw the ingredients contains alcohol and stopped.

Unfortunately, I realised that I have a tree nut allergy that makes my throat tighten.  The first time I had it this was when I took virgin coconut oil, 2 spoonfuls and the next day my throat tighten.  At first, I thought it was acid reflux.  When I stopped the coconut oil, that stopped as well.

And this time almond milk and again my throat tightened.

Though I don't have a strong reaction with this allergy, but it was enough to make me feel uncomfortable and feels as if someone was strangling me.  

On another story, yesterday evening, me, hubby and mom went for dinner.  We went to have Fish Head Noodles.  We have heard good things about this but when we went few weeks ago, we were turned off by the word XO in the title.  But my mom reassured us that they won't be putting any alcohol into the food as XO is expensive.  So, we trusted my mom.  The noodles turned out really good and delicious.

About 1 hour after the food, I began to sneeze uncontrollably while hubby spotted a front agnya headache.  My sneezing was so bad, I began to suspect that a cold was coming.  Immediately did foot soaking and ice pack.  It helps and my body began to settle.  We did massive clearing as my head was painful as well.  But the nose was runny and I felt so tired from all the sneezing.

That night, I sweat profusely.  

Both hubby and I suspected there were alcohol in the soup.  And our subtle system were having a reaction to it.  Liver fired up and causes my body to heat up and sneezing starts.  Then as the body is trying to eliminate the alcohol bits, my body starts to sweat.  

Will we do this again?  Never.

Many people said once alcohol is cooked, the effects are no longer there, but left only the taste.  Yeah right, tell it to our subtle system.  It doesn't matter whether cook or not, it's still alcohol.

We should have checked with the waiter before ordering.  That's our bad.  And we should have suspected because in the menu, there were Guinness Stout Fried Chicken and Red Wine Baby Lamb Ribs.


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