9th night of Navaratri - The day the asura was killed

No, not telling any stories of how the asura was killed.  Shri Mataji has spoken about this so many times over so many years.

Just want to pour out my feelings and experience on this day.  

At work, I report to the same manager for the past 5 years.  It wasn't easy working with her and it took me 1 whole year to finally understand her style.  But till this day, 5 years and more, she still yet to understand her subordinates.  Most of the time she thinks that we slack at our work and that we are lazy, when we give our best to do the work.  But it's not good enough for her.

Recently, she has gotten a room though not promoted.  And because of that one room, her ego becomes extra big.  And instead of sitting in the same department as us, her subordinates, she now sits with all the big bosses.  And you know what that means = HUGE EGO.

I remembered Shri Mataji said in one speech (though I can't remember which year and what puja it was), that people get ego easily, like if you know how to sing, you get ego, if you know how to do somethings with your hands, you get ego.  Just like that.  And I see it happening in real life.  Just like that.

But the problem doesn't lie with her.  No.  It lies with me.  She has not gotten her self-realisation and still live in that state of ignorance.  But I can't say the same about myself.

So, this morning, I have gotten into a verbal exchange with her.  It was over such petty and tiny thing but yet that blows up her tantrum.  At first I got irritated and tried to voice out my opinion, but she got more and more irritated.  Then I just kept quiet and went 'Mmm', like in agreement with her.  And she finally let go.

Now, for 5 years, I have been trying to understand her.  But now, on this 9th day of Navaratri, I finally understood, that I have yet to understand myself.  What's the point of trying to understand someone who is not a realised soul, who haven't gotten her self-realisation and who is not a yogi?  What a failure I am.  

As I am writing this, tears are pouring from my eyes.  I am not disappointed at how I was treated.  Instead, I was disappointed at myself.  This whole revelation was too great for me and at the same time I felt so touched by the way Divine keeps on helping me.

Because of this morning's verbal exchange, I decided to look up on a talk on this 9th day to actually find any facts that Shri Mataji has said and to soothe my own ego by proving that I was right and found this beautiful talk: Navami, 9th night Navaratri, Pune (India), 19 October 1988.  

In fact, I was proven to be a total idiot.  I wasn't able to transcend the 6th chakra.  I was still stuck at the 6th.  How am I going to transcend the 7th, 8th and 9th?

This paragraph from the speech was so apt that made me cried:

"The third point is that when you are attacked by some negative force. At that time, when it is attacked, you just forget what you are. You just don’t know what you are. Whatever people tell you, you believe it. They say do this, you will do that. They say that you give me money, you will give it. They will say – jump in the sea, you will jump. They can have mass suicide. So this left agnya is, through which they mesmerise, and once they mesmerise people they can get anything that they want. Also they treat people with mesmerism. So when a person gets mesmerised what happens that he gets treated in the sense, that if he has any physical ailment and all that, energy starts flowing towards his physical side and he gets cured. But his left side gets possessed. So he becomes a left-side possessed man but physically he is cured. So such things they work out for many people that they possess them and put things into them."

In fact, reading the whole speech, makes so much sense.  So much so that I don't feel like explaining it here anymore.

Just go to Amruta and find this speech.  Read it or listen to the audio recording which is about 30 minutes.  I can tell you, it just help me to realise what a fool I have been and I have so much more to improve on.

Thank You for making me realising what I am still lacking.  And thank You for the self-realisation.