Hindustani classical music

Past few months, I have been taking a break from Sahaj music.  I felt there were too many things on my plate.  These are the activities on my agenda:

• Learn mandarin
• Finish cross stitch (x10) for my new room
• Move room, arrange, decorate, etc
• Prepare for registration of marriage
• Wedding planning

The big bulk of to-do comes from wedding planning.  Besides working full-time and having to face the oncoming restructuring which complicates matter and having to deal with lots of red tape, I told myself, enough is enough.  Not putting anymore things on my plate.

Recently my life have been very busy.  Mainly having to deal with other people and not my own things, accommodating to other people's needs and doing things for other people.  

At first, I agree to do it.  I don't know how to say NO.  Then it began to weigh down on me and putting a burden in my day-to-day life that I felt paralysed for waiting for other people's decisions, instructions, whims and fancies.

So, I began to do something to make myself happy.  I started off with preparing my own wedding slide show.  It was satisfying but not making me joyful.  I began to cross-stitch some designs to be hanged in my new room.  It's therapeutic but again, not joyful.  I started compiling MP3 to be played at my wedding reception, which is a hobby I had since young, but still it doesn't give me joy.  

Then I remembered, that all these activities overwhelmed me so much that I have forgotten what joy is.  I have forgotten that meditation brings me joy.  I rather do something else than sit longer for meditation.  

Back to the blog title.  I am getting long-winded nowadays.  Signs of aging.  Hehe.

As I said earlier, I began compiling MP3 for my wedding reception.  I have decided to compile all love duets, mixed between English, Mandarin and Cantonese pop songs.  Then I played them while driving to work and back to get the feeling.  My car comes with this USB thingy that I can just plug my thumb drive and it will start playing the songs.

Somehow, I don't get a satisfying feeling.  I just listen for the sake of listening, but can't get any benefit.  

Beginning this week, I realised there was another thumb drive in the car and so decided to switch the thumb drive and see what songs are in it.  Turns out, it's all Hindustani classical instrumental pieces, with all kinds of ragas, Raag Bhimpalas, Todi, Bhairav, etc, etc.  While listening to these ragas, while driving to and fro from work, I feel so much calmer and settling inside.

While listening to it, I remember the times when I first started with Sahaj music class.  I didn't know how to appreciate Indian classical music until I joined Sahaj music class.  In the beginning, while attending international pujas, sometimes famous musicians will be playing beautiful Indian classical music, whether it's vocal or instrumental, sitar, flute, etc, I will definitely fall asleep.  I find it too boring.

Sahaj music class taught me that Indian classical music can have an effect on our chakras.  Certain ragas work on certain chakras.  Like, Raag Bhairav is for the left heart and it's good for people who have insomnia, relaxes so much that it puts you to sleep.  

It was a mistake to take a break in Sahaj music, when the effects can help to balance me and stabilise me.  I was stuck in a terrible jam yesterday while driving back home.  It took me an hour when the normal journey is only 20 minutes.  However, the Hindustani classical music soothes the journey and calms the soul.  I didn't feel the pain of driving in the rain, moving inch by inch.

Comparing to listening to pop music, Hindustani music gives a calming effect, which is difficult to explain through words.  

Listening to Hindustani music brings back lots of memories, especially in the Sahaj music class.  How we practise and practise before our yearly performance, how we were taught in class to express ourselves and not be shy to sing in front of others, how we share our experience on how the music has effect on us and so much more.  While I was listening to it, I was trying to identify the Ragas as taught by Lat and also listening to the tabla beats and named them.  I must say, I was a little proud that I can identify the tabla beats and would be saying it aloud to myself.  And I realised that I have an affinity with Raag Bhoop, more than Raag Bhairav.  I used to like Raag Bhairav and it's the only Raag that I will be playing over and over again on the harmo.  But Raag Bhoop, which is for Agnya chakra, gives me another sensation.  It's soothing and at the same time, I feel love.  

Lat, our Guruji, has sacrificed a lot of her time and effort, dispensing her knowledge in Sahaj music and grooming us to sing.  I feel she has more to share with us.  Our class has disbanded and now we are on our own.  The class is in a different stage now and more effort is needed from the students, rather than the teacher.  

So, I have decided to continue with Sahaj music.  I have a very strong feeling that I will need it much more in the future.  I want to learn all the Ragas, be able to identify all of them and be able to sing them properly with the correct techniques and style.  

Previously, I have this strange thought, that when I sing Sahaj music is mainly to clear and balance myself, only especially when I sing it.  If it is sung by others, it's to vibrate everyone and everywhere.  Now I feel, that's a selfish thought and I want to use it for the benefit of others too, to share the love and joy that I felt.

Wondering to myself, do you think I can play Hindustani classical instrumental music during my wedding reception?  Do you think people will fall asleep while eating?  Or they will enjoy the music?