Who am I?

I asked myself, who am I? I told others, I am a Chinese girl, born in Malaysia, who can speak Cantonese, which is my mother tongue, can speak, read and write in English and Bahasa Malaysia, which is our national language, but I cannot write or read Chinese. What? You are Chinese but you cannot understand Chinese? Well, I am what the people in my country call, a banana, i.e yellow on the outside, but white on the inside. I am not that bad, at least I can still speak Cantonese and can speak a little bit of Mandarin.

Not all Malaysian Chinese are like me. There are many of them who went to Chinese school and get "Chinese-educated". My parents decided to send me to government school, so I am "English-educated".

I have met some Chinese yogis and they said, come back to China. Well, Malaysia is my country and I am proud of it. They asked me, how am I a Chinese but also a Malaysian? To them, a Malaysian must be a Malay. It's very peculiar for them to hear that I am from Malaysia. Well, my great-grandparents were from China. They migrated to Malaysia to look for better fortune.

Someone told me, to leave Malaysia, to seek for better fortune in other Western countries. But why?

I tell you about Malaysia. Malaysia is a beautiful country which only has summer all year round. It's rain and shine and no show. Here, we have the Malays, Chinese, Indians and other races and we lived happily together. Yes, recent reports show that there are some misunderstanding over some religious issue here, but that will be cleared when people will just open their eyes and see.

Our country is situated in such a strategic place that there is no earthquake or volcano and tornado. We are so lucky to be Malaysians, to stay here in Malaysia.

We have minor quarrels sometimes, but that's human right?

Why compare Malaysia with other countries? Do you think that other countries will not have problems too? Everyone has their own issues. Just because we don't read it in our newspaper, doesn't mean that it's not there.

I think a lot of us forget that we are so lucky to be here. We quarreled over petty things forgetting that it is God that put us here in the first place. We are not grateful to God for giving us a good life, a beautiful country and everything we owned. To me, there is only one God. The same God that is watching us fooling ourselves.

Sorry God, for hurting You. We thought we know better than You. But we don't. Who are we to make decision for You? Who are we to judge? Who are we? Who am I?

Shri Mataji has given us, those really lucky ones, our self-realisation. We can see and understand a lot of things that our mundane mind cannot after realisation. It's a gift of life. A second life. And now, when I asked, who am I?

I am the Spirit. I am not this ego, this superego, this thought and this conditioning. I am not this mind and I am not this body. I am the Pure Spirit.

How nice if everyone can understand all of this? Can stop all the bickering and appreciate togetherness. I can understand if non-yogi still don't understand all of this. But a Sahaja Yogi?

Again, who am I to judge? Sometimes we lose our direction. I have been there, done that. That's why today I prayed that may we all have the wisdom, innocence and discretion of Shri Ganesha.

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