Last working day of 2017

How has 2017 treated me?  Was it good or was it not?

Honestly, 2017 was not a good year for me.  I didn't meditate properly, didn't clear myself properly and as a result, I could feel the effects from that and it's not good.

In 2017, luck was not really on my side.  I fell, I had a minor car accident, I had some altercations with my boss and family members on separate occasions, my girl was hospitalised and I spent my birthday in the hospital.

But despite all these negative happenings, there were also some good things that happened but they were very tiny.  Still I felt the love and attention of the Divine who looked after me very much.

Little miracles did happened, whether you want to call it as coincidence or not, it's up to you.  Like that day, we went to the market.  While walking back to the car, I saw my car was completely blocked.  Someone has parked so 'smartly' that there was no way I was able to reverse my car out.  At the same time, my husband noticed the driver was just walking away and he quickly went to her and told her to re-park for us to come out.  Thank God.  Otherwise, we would have stuck there for a long time.

I guess things really happened for a reason but sometimes the reason is unknown to us.  Because of so many bad things that happened, I began to look for the good things that happened behind it.  Say, when my daughter was hospitalised, it wasn't a good thing at all.  But I get to spend some quality time with her.  I was so busy at work at that time and I wasn't even thinking of taking leave on my birthday.  But I was forced to spend my birthday with her in the hospital, eating hospital food.  It's ok, we get to spend some time as a family, which we hardly get to do these days.

And the minor car accident, it was very troublesome and lots of things to follow up after that.  Say I have to make police report, wait for police investigation, go to workshop and do all the insurance claim and wait.  But while doing all these and having no car to work, the alternative was to take public transport and I found a very convenient way to travel to work without a car, that is the LRT and BRT.  No jam, no stress, no parking fee.  If this accident didn't happen, I wouldn't have thought of the alternative and would have continue to get stuck in traffic jams and continue to fight for parking space.

And about the fall, it happened just like that and so fast but it hurts like mad.  Even before this fall, I was having the sciatica pain all the time and didn't do much about it.  Because of the fall, I have to see a physiotherapist but that didn't end well as I was abandoned after few treatments which I have paid in full.  Finally I ended up with a chiropractor and it improved so much.  Not only my back, but my feet that was giving me lots of pain is easing as well.

See, I am still down on my luck towards the last few days of 2017 and I am praying that 2018 will be much, much better.  But 2017 made me stronger with the challenges thrown at me.  It made me not to expect so much.  

While driving back home yesterday, there was no traffic.  I began to look back at all the bad incidences that happened to me and was wondering where did it go wrong.  Did I start my 2017 on a bad note?  I remembered doing everything right on 1 Jan because I have always and strongly and firmly believed, you have to start the year right.  If not, bad luck will happen for the whole year and it was true for me in one of the years.

Then I realised, perhaps there are no yogis having me in their attention, whom some of them were before?  Or some people were always thinking of me negatively and causing all these bad luck?  Do you know if yogis have good attention on you, good things will happened and vice versa?  I believe that strongly too.  Then I started hoping that I will be on the good attention of some yogis, hopefully my luck will change.  Then it hit me.  Isn't Shri Mataji the person whom you want to be in Her attention?  Wouldn't that be even better than being in the attention of others?  Then I remembered how I have spent my year, where it comes to meditation.  I hardly have time to have a good meditation and clearing.  We hardly go to collective too.  Even if we go, we were always late because of husband's work.  And we can't help it.  

So for 2018, I pray that I am worthy of Shri Mataji's attention.  I pray that life will treat me better.  And I pray that I am able to do more for Shri Mataji, for Sahaja Yoga, for my family and for myself.