To develop a witness state

Two Vashi doctors came to Malaysia to attend Shri Kartikeya Puja in Malaysia recently.  On top of the puja, they also gave treatment to us.  Me and husband got Dr Mehra, a very nice and humble doctor.  

End of the clearing, he told me that it's very easy to solve my problems, that I don't have a big problem, that I just need to develop a witness state and not feel guilty for things that I can't do or didn't do.

As I came out from the room, I felt clearer with a better direction.  The same feeling that I had when I left Vashi hospital in 2009.  In fact, the half hour experience, though short was very valuable.  

But the next day I started thinking.  How in the world to develop a witness state and not react?  I had to admit that it's my biggest weakness.  That I react a lot.  In fact, if you read my last post, I reacted to my boss.  I react to my family, friends, husband, colleagues, bosses and basically everything under the sun and moon.  Even if I don't voice it out, in my heart and soul I have already reacted and it affected my Vishuddhi.

Doctor also told me to just feel Shri Mataji's love in my heart.  I think that one is lacking big time.  Sometimes I forget Shri Mataji is always around and sometimes I wish She would come to my dream and talk to me.  

I am just amazed at the doctors.  How surrendered they are.  Everything is Shri Mataji's doing.  How we are not doing anything.  But most of the time, I felt I have to do something or else it will not get done.  

After the puja, we also had a sharing session with the Vashi doctors.  It was more like a Q & A session with them.  What they said is nothing new as Shri Mataji had said it many, many times before.  The gist of it are:

  • Meditation is very important, especially the morning meditation.
  • Don't focus too much on our catches, but instead pay attention on our vibrations.
  • How do we know if we have meditated properly?  It's when there is a change in our behaviour, i.e if we used to be aggressive and became calmer.
  • Important points are meditate, surrender, behaviour changes and be one with the Spirit.
  • We can listen to Indian classical music or Shri Mataji's talk during meditation.  If we still can't meditate, then we can watch Shri Mataji's puja.
  • Love ourselves and don't hate ourselves
  • Don't always think of the bad things about ourselves, instead focus on the good things and grow from there.
These are not the exact words of the doctors but the meanings are there.  

All in all, we had a good time at Tangkak, spent a lot of time at the waterfall and had fun.  I came back feeling refreshed, renewed and now starting to wake up at 4am for the morning meditation.