Staying connected to each other

I was just told that this year is a very auspicious Diwali for me as it is my first year being married.  However, it would have been nicer if he is with me, but he is far, far away.  I spent the Diwali doing my oil bath while he was busy working because it's not a holiday in China.  Sigh.

Many non-Sahajis asked me how do I maintain a long distance relationship?  My answer:  It takes a lot of determination, patience, trust and lots of love.  It is very important for a marriage to have communication.  I always find ways to connect with him, be it vibrationally or not.  Here is what we do to keep in contact:

1. Skype - We started out using Skype, which was the most awesome video calls software.  It makes everything so convenient and brings people from very far to very near.  We see each other through webcam and sometimes we type out our chats.  It was really very convenient.

2. Google Talk - I introduced him to Google Talk and he immediately installed it on his mobile phone.  However, because China is not on good terms with Google, sometimes Google Talk doesn't work so well in China.

3. QQ - QQ is a Chinese chat platform and very active in China only (since China banned Facebook and some Google stuff).  After he came to Malaysia, he installed QQ chat on my laptop and since then we used QQ to chat and to video/audio call one another.  QQ is more convenient for him as everything is in Chinese.  At first I was a bit lost using QQ, then I realised that there was an English version, which I eventually downloaded and used.  Lately QQ has not been functioning very well.  I can't seem to hear him very well and the video is stagnated and our calls are few seconds delayed.  

4. Whatsapp -  Since my sister gave me her old Blackberry, I decided to venture with it.  This BB is my first smart phone and my previous Nokia does not have Wifi functions, so I could not go on the internet with my phone.  I found this Whatsapp very useful.  Though Skype and QQ helped me to connect with him easily, but it's always only at night, when I am off work and back home.  That's because I can't Skype when in office and I can't install QQ in my office, due to some security issues.  After I discovered Whatsapp, I told him to get the apps for his phone too and since then we have been Whatsapp-ing each other day and night.  It's very convenient for both of us.  I am learning Chinese faster this way.

5. Google Translate - Since I don't know how to read and write much of Chinese, communicating with him was a challenge.  Thanks to Google Translate, I was able to write to him in Chinese.  However, sometimes, there are some mis-communication due to the wrong words used and a lot of assumptions made.

6. Navita - It's the translator that I used in BB.  It's super useful.  Copy and paste was ever so easy.  What I do is I translate the words and copy and paste into Whatsapp.  Super convenient.  However lately the software has a bug and error 503 keep on appearing.  I hope they fix this soon because this app is very good.

I was told that in Iphone, there is an app called Facetime which is like Skype.  You can do face-to-face video calls with another person with Iphone.  I was very tempted.  But first I have to get 2 Iphones, which is not possible at this point of time.  Maybe in the future.

I researched around the web and found that Android phones have this app called Tango.  It is like Facetime too.  Maybe it's another alternative for us.

I always find the cheapest possible way to connect with him because communication is so important to eliminate any misunderstanding, to keep the marriage going and to stay connected to each other, especially when we are miles apart.  Sometimes I find even chatting is not enough.  Chatting as in typing a message and sending to each other.  Because sometimes a lot of misunderstanding can start just by chatting as we cannot see each other's expression and cannot express ourselves well, especially when I can't type in Chinese properly.

Talking on the phone is the best as you can hear each other's voice and all the emotions in the voice, but it's expensive.  That's why video calls are so useful for long distance relationship, provided both the internet lines are very good.  I find Streamyx not very good nowadays as they are trying to promote Unifi, but I won't change to Unifi.  If you have a webcam, a good internet line, you are good to go.

Hopefully one day, Blackberry will find a solution to have an app for video calls on their phones, just like Iphone.  

I still remember our very first Skype meeting.  I have so many burning questions for him.  LOL!  We spoke for over 2 hours until 1am.  And the conversation continued for the next few nights.

Besides connecting to him using all these apps and softwares, we would try to connect to each other vibrationally.  If one day I found myself feeling crappy, he would also be affected.  My reactions have effect on him very much and vice versa.  Sometimes I do bandhan for him and he puts attention on me and clear me.  That's how we connect to each other vibrationally.  I also feel that now that our Kundalini are tied together, whatever I feel, he can feel too.  At best, we would always try to keep ourselves in balance, in order for us to keep the relationship fresh.

I find what is most important in communication is this:  Because we are far apart and we don't see each other physically, best is not to assume anything.  Sometimes our mind can play tricks on us.  Also don't take your anger out on the other person.  Bear in mind, he is so far away, he can't comfort you the way you want him to.  If you take your anger out on him, he will feel crappy too and affect the relationship very much.  Be nice to each other and very important is express the love more.

What I find is good to do is to write letter to each other.  In my case, it's in email form.  Write your feelings and all you want to say.  I call it my love letters, but it's really not so.  In olden times when computer and internet were still not in existence, people use to write with pen and paper.  It helps with the expression more and get some things off your chest.  I feel it's really good to write once in a while.

So, better try to find ways to connect.  Best is vibrationally!