The phases in life

Being the eldest in my family, I grew up feeling fearful.  Each step I take, I feel I am leading the way.  Be the first to try new things.   I was scared of the future.  My parents were too busy with work and they can't tell me what step I have to take.  Going to school was fearful, stepping into the class for the first time was horrifying.  I kept telling myself that there's always a first time.  But I was very scared, shy, timid and fearful.  Now when I think back, I feel it will be better if my parents had prepared me in advance, telling me what I have to go through, how to deal with things, rather than for me to experience and experiment.  Then I became close to my cousin sister.  She was one year older than me.  So she will take the first step then she tell me what's its like.  I felt relieved sometimes.  I was very dependable on her.  Until she passed away when I was 21.  I was lost and felt that now I have to walk alone.

As we mature in life, we will start to understand that in each phase of life, there is a start, but no end.  It only slides to the next phase, sometimes kind of overlapping.  These phases of life will only end when we leave our body, in other words, when we die!  That's what I learn.

I learn that there are no definite answers.  Things can change, things can happened.  So, best is not to question why, because there's no definite answer.  You cannot ask about the past, eg. Why me?  Why this thing happened?  How come like this?  You cannot ask about the future, eg.  Will I be rich?  Will I strike a fortune?   Will he love me?  What we can only do is just stay in the present and just enjoy each passing day.  Best is to laugh at our own mistakes, learn from them and move on.  Make each day a great day and treat everyone with utmost love and respect.  Then day after day, life will be pleasant.  Face each crisis with patience and calmness.  Witness the surrounding and enjoy the drama.  This is just my opinion.  Sometimes I can't even bring up such feelings especially during a crisis or dilemma. 

I like the attitude of one of my colleagues.  She is a happy-go-lucky kind of girl.  When there's a superior who scolds her, she just brush it aside and move on.  She doesn't point finger and blame anyone even though it's others mistake that cause her to be scolded.  When there's a crisis, she just sort it out and laugh while sorting it out and move on.  She is one innocent girl, very child-like, very lovable. 

When her father passed away, she was very upset.  It happened too suddenly so she took some time to adapt to the new fact.  But within a month, she was back to her jolly self once more.  

Some people cannot accept death.  Still stuck in the past and reminiscing the times in the past.  That's really sad.  I know it because I went through it.  It took me a few years before I can finally let go and move on with my life.  To grieve is alright.  But don't grieve for the rest of your life.  Give chance to new things in your life.  Like I said earlier, there's no definite answer.  We don't know why someone has to leave us.  Only God have the answer and the nearer we are to God, probably we will get glimpses of the answer or we will get a solution of how to deal with it.

How to enjoy life?  It's simply to just simplify life.  Don't analyse, don't question, don't assume, don't generalise, just don't.  If someone doesn't do something you wanted, don't ask.  Don't request for it.  Just leave it.  Maybe it's better if you don't expect at all.  The more expectations, the more disappointments.  Forgive everyone and don't hold grudges.  The more you hold grudges, the higher stress you get and the more unhappy you will become.  If anyone have hurt you, just simply let it go and move on.  There's more new things to come.  Be happy, learn to accept, understand that there's a reason in everything and we may not know the answer now.  Sometimes the ego likes to be pampered.  Coming up with all kinds of ideas of how great we are, how right we are, etc, etc.  Just surrender the ego.  No point feeling so great, having great power, able to control people, being right, etc, etc when everyday we are suffering silently inside, right?

But most important I feel is that we need someone to walk with us through the phases in life.  This person is God.  Did I say nothing was definite?  I was wrong.  Definitely there's God.  And God will always be there with us if we allow God to be with us.  Other things are not definite, they are just a phase to help you to mature and grow in this life.  To ascent to be a better person, to be closer to God.  So just enjoy these phases and feel the happiness in the heart.

These are just my opinion, generated from my current state of mind.  It may change from time to time. 

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