In pursuit of happiness

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When I was in Vashi, the doctors told me that happiness can clear a lot of catches, especially those chakras from Vishuddhi upwards.  When the heart is open (when one is happy), then the Sahasrara will also be open.  Then when the Sahasrara is opened, everything else will be clear.

First and foremost, how to be happy?  Many people including myself search happiness in many ways.  In our modern society now, one is said to be happy is when one has achieved a certain heights in his/her life, like career advancement, more money, a big house, a happy family, car, etc, etc.  But once we have achieved all of this, are we really happy?

I don’t know about others, but I can tell you that for someone who is in a victim mode a lot, it is very hard to be happy.  We tend to look for unhappiness instead to make us look like poor things and the whole world is against us and that no one cares and no one loves us.  We have very low self-esteem and think other people are always better than us, that they are more successful, prettier, richer and happier.  We also tend to take things for granted and when someone really crosses our path and make us angry, we will hold a grudge and ideas of revenge will be playing in the mind and we will have tons of conversations of how we will tell that person off.

We forgot to be grateful for the things we have.  Like me, it never crosses my mind to thank God for giving me a supporting and loving friend.  I have a good job but as days go by, I feel it’s boring.  Not satisfied with whatever I have.  Some people will tend to shop to make them happy.  Whenever I get a chance to shop, I tend to buy clothes, to make me feel better.  I thought if I look better in certain clothes, then people will look at me in a different way and the world will not be that cruel.

It’s really dangerous how this mind works.  It has created a lot of nonsensical thoughts and putting a lot of false ideas in my head. 

Years ago, I came across this blog and I really admire this young girl.  She found her passion and she enjoyed working.  How many of us enjoy doing what we do?  And she is ever so positive about life.  She makes beautiful cakes and her creativity never stops.  I followed her blog right from the beginning when she just started out trying making cakes to going to the US for her decorating classes to coming back to Malaysia and starting a business making and decorating cakes.  I never get a chance to try her cakes though, not yet.  I told myself one day I will definitely be her customer.

How is this young woman related to happiness?  Lately I went back to her blog after some months break.  She wrote beautifully in her posts and always so inspiring, encouraging and even though there are sometimes some negative in her world, the positive side is much more.  She is one person who has achieved joy and learns The Secret.  I really truly envy her.  Whatever she earns today, is what she has brought to herself by using the art of The Secret, the most powerful law in the universe.  This young lady is happy at what she is doing and therefore enjoys every single moment in her life making and decorating cakes.  Seeing her customers happy makes her happier.  So, when one is happy, everything will work out well, just like what they said in The Secret.  The power of attraction.  The more you attract good things in your life, the more good things will happen in your life.

I wondered sometimes how one can be so positive in life.  It’s almost impossible to me.  I always have so much to complain about.  Whatever I do, there is always some blockages.  I know about The Secret but I don’t know how to use it.  I tried and then I succumb to my own head and stopped. 

So, after Vashi, I started year 2010 in a positive tone.  But, there’s always a ‘but’, as days goes by, as month’s passes by, I feel drawn back to the negative side of me. 

Enough of talking, as the more I talk, the less I do, the more I think, which all adds up to something not so good.  I need to meditate more as true happiness which is joy, only comes when one is in thoughtless awareness and truly in meditation.  Not just any kind of meditation, only in Sahaja Yoga Meditation.

Like I said in my earlier post, I always believe that there is always something good hidden in something bad.  Just that, I am not good at seeing what it is therefore I keep on hoping that in the future I will see, so I waited and waited.  Later I found out that this is one of the signs that the person is in a victim mode.  Now I learned, slowly I learned, that in every bad thing that happened, sometimes it is not up to me to see why it happen, therefore I should just let it go and not harped on why it happened and what the good about it is.  It’s just not meant for me to know. 

Like today, I was complaining about my job to a friend.  All I could see is just the bad side, although I was really trying hard to see the good side.  I told myself, I don’t want to think that this is a negative thing, so for many weeks, I just told everyone that I am happy, but inside I am not.  So, my friend told me the beauty that was hidden in all this negative thoughts that I have.  I am given a chance to move slowly and at my own pace.  No longer need to rush, to run, to curse and be cursed at.  I really did not see that.

So, you can see, how people who are in a victim mode are, pursuing happiness when it is right there in front of you.  

P/S : This is my 100th post.  Time for celebration.